Is sleeping with 25 people by age 21 a lot?

[FiveFarthings]

Whilst sat up with baby I stumbled across this gem on Channel 4 called ‘The Sex Clinic’. They asked the guests how many people they have slept with. Answers ranged from 5 people to the hundreds. One girl who was 21 years old said she’d slept with over 25 people.

I am just wondering if this is a lot by age 21? I didn’t lose my virginity until I was 20 and I’m now 33. I’ve slept with 3 people in my entire life (3 long term relationships and now married). Some of the guests who were saying they’d slept with 100s of people were a bit older so had more time to get those notches, but I still think that’s a big number for even someone in their late 20s. For example, if you lost your virginity at 16, that would make it 6 partners a year until you’re 30. Is that a lot?

I am in no way shaming anyone at all for the amount of sexual partners they have- people can swing from the chandelier with a different partner every night of the year as far as I care, but I was just wondering if I’m in the minority for having had so few sexual partners? Am I old fashioned at only 33? Is sex more casual for the younger generation, is it easier now to hook up than before wide spread internet/mobile phone usage?

I'm 28 and only had 2. Married now so in theory that's my lot!

I have friends who are on 100+.

In the 20s is probably average by 30, from what I hear.

I don’t know but I wish I’d had more before I settled down!

I wouldn’t say it was a lot for a single person, no. It’s not many per year. I think I was at a similar number at that age but started at 15.
I wracked up about a century before I settled down mid 30’s. Tbh I stopped counting in the end!

If she started at 16, it's 5 a year... hardly a different one every week. Everyone has a different definition what what a lot means... hopefully she's learnt what good sex is somewhere along the line!

Oh and this was obviously mostly before online dating, phone aps, social media etc as I’m now in my 40’s. We did it the old fashioned way (large quantities of vodka and a buzzing social life). Uni days and the rest of my 20’s were a great time!

I really don’t think it matters tbh.

Only having had a few sexual partners doesn't make you "old fashioned" and neither does having a sexual encounter every other month make you "modern"- the only "modern" thing about it is not being ashamed to say so if you are female.

What makes you "old fashioned" is not the fact you haven't done that yourself but - despite your understandable "I'm not shaming" - you obviously are thinking it's 'too much', 'not quite right' etc. Good for you for the way you live your life, good for others for the way they live theirs - there are pros and cons either way.

I'm in my 60s now, and yes I'm sure I'd had sex with more than that by the age of 21. We had a lot of fun , back the the day !

Is there a government recommended maximum? Or minimum? If so, I missed the memo.
Have sex with as many of few as you like. As long as you look after your health, who cares?

Dunno really

Wish I'd had more tbh

DH is a lost cause

I'm older than you, OP, and from quite a middle class and 'conservative' background.

25 by 21 is nothing compared to what I totted up.

Where as in the last ten years I've slowed down hugely. Actually, there's pretty much no sexual contact in my relationship, but most the time I don't even care.

It doesn't matter. You don't need to feel you've missed out just as I don't need to feel guilty for having had fun and experimented.

It's all better anyway when it's with someone who means something, that's all that matters to me anymore.

I am on total 4, at age 42. Three men, one woman. I am feeling well settled, so if I end up with any more that would mean a relationship breakdown, which is not what I want.

I am kind of in awe of people with big totals. They have had a whole lot of life that I haven't!

BraveGoldie I agree! I’m happy with my choices in life but I do wonder what it would be like to have had a one night stand or to have maybe been a bit more adventurous in my 20s!

I saw the programme and as a viewer, felt quite sad for the young woman. The number is irrelevant, it was more her eagerness to put out there her ever increasing sexual interest.... I've slept with 25 people, I love fisting, I'm bisexual, I love to be choked... it was a new feature each time she met a new person. She (and amelio) needed counselling, in addition to STD checks.

I do wonder what it would be like to have had a one night stand or to have maybe been a bit more adventurous in my 20s!

It can be wonderful or it can be disastrous, having one night stands. I've had plenty, back in my teens and 20s. Some I'd rather forget, but the memories of some of them, keep this old lady warm at night .

There is no normal number. Some people remain virgins until they are married and others have sex with a different person several nights a week for most of their adult life. And everything inbetween.

No idea. I probably had forty by the time I got married, so wha?

I've had 36 by 27, so 7ish per year since 21. Some men, some women. Mac I love how bisexuality is as extreme as fisting, or choking.

Please don't feel sorry for those of us with high sex drives/alternative interests. It's not making us sad.

BTW, nowt wrong with fisting every now and again. Keeps one alive. Choking always v v dangerous.

No, it’s not a lot in my view. Why count? There is not a scoreboard. A few other issues here.

1. Why do people say “sleeping with” when they mean, have sex with? Certainly in my case I have slept with a different number of people than l have had sex with.

1. Would the same question be asked about a man?

1. “Lost” virginity. I lost nothing! Why does the language for gaining womanhood have to be so negative? It’s indoctrinated “man language”.

I am a profesional woman in my 40s and have been responsibly sexually active since my teens. I would have exceeded that number by that age. And proud of it! From an early age l learned that to be sex positive you needed both passion and discretion, otherwise both men and women, who were having less fun called you names.

I’ve had a nice time along the way and not going to apologise for enjoying sex.

I cannot remember where I read it but there is a definition(?) in UK that if you have had over 5 partners in your lifetime, you are promiscious (sp?). I remember Joan Collins commenting on young girls today who have all had more partners than people think she has!

When I was 21 I'd only had two partners. I am always a bit envious of people who had a wild youth and wonder how they managed it. I've never found sexual relationships easy - I had a lot of shame over sex drummed into me as a child and I've always been a bit too cautious.

Each to their own. Personally I think it is far too many and I would be disgusted with myself to have got into double figures at any age. I can count on one hand the number of people I have kissed let alone slept with.
I have slept with two, I hate the fact it is more than one. I was a stupid naive 15 year old though, the 23 year old I lost my virginity promised to marry me diamond ring and all then he didn't.
I didn't let that happen again and have been happily married since I was 18.

I’ve only ever slept with DH .... I suppose lots of people will find that weird but we’ve been together since I was 18 and didn’t have sex until I was 19. He’s only ever slept with me!

We are both Catholic though.....

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou
Doesn't sound weird to me. Sounds perfect, I honestly wish I could say the same.

I met DH when I was 21 but my "number" was around 30 by that point. Obviously only DH since then - I'm 29 now.

Anotherusefulname

You sound like you have some serious deep rooted issues around sex