Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

I think the uniforms are supposed to be a leveller ie children of different classes all wear the same.

Macca, it's crap. It is fair enough when you can buy them in supermarket. But when a school strikes a deal with a specific vendor for a hiked up price.... How is that even legal?

My DM struggles with the class system and the sense of humour (she is American and cannot quite understand how you can be upper class and skint or working class and rich). Well, she does but she has to think about both.

I know, but I think that is the point of them. Same with school dinners. The kids aren’t supposed to know who has free school meals and who doesn’t - supposed to give kids the idea they are all equal, during school hours at least.

People not saying what they mean.

I struggle with the lack of enthusiasm and optimism. I’m a fairly positive person so I miss having that around. People seem so reluctant to display happiness!

I'm half British and half otherwhere, and was raised otherwhere too. "Hinting" at things is a concept I struggle with. Everywhere else in the world just fucking says what they mean. Try it sometime!!

I like the acceptability of very tiny displays of affection though - like a card. As a nation we love the cards, undemonstrative as they appear - they show love while limiting the opportunity for Awkward. Other nations don't do them half as well.

Also the popularity of boarding schools. My husband was sent to one. He tried to escape 9 times, finally set a tool shed on fire and got expelled.
Just why would a parent do that to a kid?

A good old British bashing thread 👌

I find kids bed times weird and I'm from here

@ContessaLovesTheSunshine The hinting at things I just can't get at all. Where I grew up, you just said what you were thinking.
My mom is British and is always reading between the lines of what people say. I don't get it. Just take people at face value in what they say. If they meant something different, they should've bloody well said it.

My DP and his family are very British. Arranging a meal out with them is a nightmare because no-one will say what they want, where they want to go, what time they want to go. So frustrating!

I don’t understand why british people who move abroad are expats but everyone else is immigrants. I was born abroad in a british colony and lived in the uk for a decade and moved to somewhere in Europe....I’m not a expat my family are immigrants I’m not sure anyone on my side is even English.....

I also don't understand the very individualistic approach to parenting. I don't have children so I'm not speaking from a position of expertise at all but it seems that in the UK, you absolutely shouldn't concern yourself with anyone else's children or parenting at all (unless there is suspected abuse).

I find that so weird. Where I grew up, children really were raised by a community. You were just as likely to get bollocked by your neighbour, the shopkeeper, some random person on the bus as you were by your own parents. Parents didn't take it personally that someone else would tell their child off - the attitude was (is) if a child's being a twat, they need to be told enough and it doesn't really matter who does that.

From a puzzled Brit, what’s the problem with bed times?

A good old British bashing thread

Nobody is bashing us. It’s just observations

@Mintjulia I don't have children but, to me, it seems really weird to force a human to go bed at a particular time whether they're tired or not (then perhaps have to sit with them for ages trying to get them to sleep). Plus, children's bedtimes in the UK are really really early.

From a puzzled Brit, what’s the problem with bed times?
Way too early

Not all parents object to their child being scolded by other people when there's good cause. Sensible ones don't. I grew up in the way that you describe and that was in the UK in the 90s.

Everywhere else in the world just fucking says what they mean. Try it sometime!!
Everywhere? What, like Japan? You’re generalising.

I don’t understand why british people who move abroad are expats but everyone else is immigrants.

Henning Wehn made a joke that if you move abroad to somewhere better, you are an immigrant. but if you do the reverse you are an ex-pat ...

I'm British (though partly raised abroad and not of 100% British ancestry) and I struggle with the idea that you must never comment on the behaviour of someone else's DC or tell them off. The idea seems to be that 'it's nothing to do with you'.

Well, actually, it is: either in the moment, because they're screaming like dervishes on the train and disturbing everyone, or longer term, because we're all part of the same society and children raised with no respect for good manners or boundaries or other people's property are highly likely to cause all sorts of issues down the line.

I don't know how other people define Ex-Pats but to me they are professionals who move abroad temporarily, often moving countries every few years or so.

To be fair, I don’t think boarding schools are a British thing as much as they are an ‘outrageously posh’ thing. It is unimaginable to me, my family and most people I’ve ever met to send their child to boarding school - that is just the behaviour of a tiny insular elite. You must have a rich husband.

Perhaps a cup of tea will help you lot adapt to our culture? I find a cup of tea can solve almost any disquiet.

About telling off children. It seems unacceptable to scold someone else's child, but its totally ok to bollock a parent when you disagree