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Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

531 replies

FishCanFly · 27/08/2019 12:58

I will start:

  • Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
  • School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
  • Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo
OP posts:
missyB1 · 27/08/2019 14:36

Why are boarding schools considered to be a purely British thing?? Hardly anyone here sends their kids to one, but all of dh’s family in South Africa send their kids away to board.
As for hinting at things, yes that’s one our endearing quirks- you can like it or lump it Grin
Children’s bedtimes are not “early” to us, they are at the right time. All depends on your perspective surely?
It would be weird to emigrate then expect everything to be culturally the same in the new Country!

Juells · 27/08/2019 14:36

I don't understand the remark about 'hinting at things', and the claim that other nationalities don't do it. I'm Irish, and we certainly don't just 'say what we mean'. People who 'say what they mean' are considered rude. Dutch and the German people are the only ones I've met who think there's virtue in telling it like it is. 😂

Pinktulipsarethebest · 27/08/2019 14:38

If you go to another cou try you "go OUT there", you don't just go there, makes it sound very dramatic and far far away!
People don't normally introduce themselves.

DirtyDennis · 27/08/2019 14:41

@Juells I've only lived in the Caribbean and the UK so I can't comment on other cultures. For me, the hinting at things isn't really about the fact this exists because of course other cultures do this. It's more that it's so constant in the UK that you sort of have to speak two languages so you can understand the content of the sentence but then also the sub-text.

7Worfs · 27/08/2019 14:45

I like British peculiarity, it’s endearing Grin
I guess I only struggle with people not being direct, it’s very difficult to read minds

LiveInAHidingPlace · 27/08/2019 14:50

Fucking LOADS of countries are indirect, in various ways. Even though the Germans claim to be direct, very often what they're trying to say with their apparent directness isn't what they're actually saying. eg they might be telling you that your food is disgusting but what they actually mean is that they don't really like you or don't like going out to your house.

The thing is that, also, when British people hint at things, most British people understand what they're getting at. You don't because you're not from here. eg if someone mutters "hmm interesting" a number of times what they actually mean is "please stop talking." All but the least socially aware understand that. But of course many overseas people might not.

choli · 27/08/2019 14:52

I don't understand the remark about 'hinting at things', and the claim that other nationalities don't do it. I'm Irish, and we certainly don't just 'say what we mean'. People who 'say what they mean' are considered rude. Dutch and the German people are the only ones I've met who think there's virtue in telling it like it is. 😂
I think Irish people do the hinting and talking in circles thing to an even greater degree than the British. Americans are much more straightforward. If you really want directness try moving to Israel, it's practically an art form there.

Loopytiles · 27/08/2019 14:53

Bed times are just sensible if DC have to get up early for school or childcare.

YANBU on monopoly school uniform suppliers!

Loopytiles · 27/08/2019 14:54

Years ago read an international management study suggesting that people from the UK and Japan were the most indirect in communicating!

7Worfs · 27/08/2019 14:56

@LiveInAHidingPlace you are right! And even a decade here doesn’t make it better, you have to have been raised with it.
I have golden examples from the workplace, hah

Waytooearly · 27/08/2019 15:02

I love England. I felt at home as soon as I moved to Yorkshire. Kind, witty, decent people.

What I struggle with? The drinking. Jesus. Middle aged people making jackasses of themselves every weekend. Trains full of pissheads when you're just trying to bring some kids to the holiday markets. People handing you hard liquor at a party before you can even sit down.

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 15:12

I love England. I felt at home as soon as I moved to Yorkshire. Kind, witty, decent people.

I suspect not all folk from Gods Own Country would be happy to be called "English" Grin

SimonJT · 27/08/2019 15:14

People not saying what they mean, so when I say what I actually mean people are offended.

The lack of affection, where I’m from showing physical affection for family, friends etc is completely normal. Here people will do anything they can not to touch anyone.

What I do like is that people are generally not interested in anyone, so you can generally do as you please without anyone sticking their nose in etc.

Wearywithteens · 27/08/2019 15:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request.

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 15:22

I think most of the things mentioned here (apart from baked beans which are, I agree, disgusting) are not necessarily British traits but middle class traits

British or English, Welsh Scottish or Northern Irish ?

Of late the distinctions have become a little less trivial ...

LettuceP · 27/08/2019 15:33

I think most of the things mentioned here are not necessarily British traits but middle class traits yep I think this too. Im English and I really struggle to talk to middle class people sometimes because I just know I'm going to come across as rude whatever I say 🤣

LegallyBritish · 27/08/2019 16:28

These are just differences I've noticed

  • Salad cream
  • beans on toast is a meal?
  • competitive breakfast making (people really notice the quality of sausage, bacon, etc)
  • so many carbs in a sausage here
  • having to find someone help you purchase an item when they would make commission on it (like car dealerships, it could take a while to get a sales person whereas you would be chased in my home country)
  • if a company fucks up, it doesn't mean you're getting anything for free when you call customer service. (I.e. if you call bt or talk talk and there's a problem such as a bad connection, it doesn't mean you're getting a free month)
  • I've never seen a sketchy McDonalds here
  • sticky tables at restaurants
  • some very favoured foods are a bit plain looking (like a bacon roll, cheese sarnie, etc)
  • fish and chips that are good yet also cheap. Fish would always be an expensive restaurant meal in my home country.
  • Classism. I've found people who would be considered "chavs" to be so nice and people to be "upper class" to be really cold and rude at times. So I don't understand the obsession with living in the upper class areas.
  • compared to my home country, the entire UK is unbelievably safe!
  • a general lack of privacy and needing to discuss your health problems in front of others at a gp surgery. In my home country, you just tell the secretary that the doctor said you need a follow up and they give you dates to choose from.
  • Receiving important consultant appointment letters in the mail...? In my home country, you can just ask the secretary the same day and you'll get a business card with a date/time written on it
  • buying/selling is almost impossible with the whole concept of a "chain". Where I'm from, you put in the contract as a part of the offer, how long the seller is allowed to stay. If they accept the offer, it is legally binding and they would be evicted as well as need to find somewhere to rent from that date since it wouldn't be the buyer's problem.
  • some people are so soft spoken that it's very hard to understand what they are saying
LegallyBritish · 27/08/2019 16:31

Also seems to be far more children in the UK generally (in contrast to my home country), it seems like nearly everyone of child bearing age is pushing a pram here. Not a bad thing, just a sign that it's still financially viable for a lot of people.

BrokenTelly · 27/08/2019 16:44

That they consider themselves a democracy. For example, apart from her own constituency, nobody voted for May. Parliament didn't vote for BoJo. How is that democratic? Also, that when they vote, they vote for who they think might win rather than what they believe in. SMH

BrokenTelly · 27/08/2019 16:47

Oh, and Marmite! Yikes!!!

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 16:50

That they consider themselves a democracy. For example, apart from her own constituency, nobody voted for May. Parliament didn't vote for BoJo. How is that democratic?

From memory, you don't vote for "da Prez" in the US either ...

Juells · 27/08/2019 16:51

Tabloids. Though I see them creeping in here as well now, they run Irish versions with appeal-to-lowest-common-denominator front pages. 😱

anothernotherone · 27/08/2019 17:07

I'm a British born British citizen and an immigrant in my adopted country.

I know a lot of Indian and Japanese ex pats

People love to prove how right on the are by sneering at the term expat, but it does have a meaning distinct from immigrant - an expatriate is one of many subgroups of immigrant.

I'm an immigrant but not an expatriate because my move is permanent, or as permanent as anything in life (who can say, I like to be flexible, but I have joint citizenship now, which I applied for a few years ago). I've adopted my new country as my own.

Temporary immigrant fall into lots of categories: asylum seekers and economic migrants being the biggest divide.

Obviously expatriate literally simply means someone living in a country they are not a citizen of. However like a lot of words it has a more specific meaning in common usage.

Expatriates are a subgroup of economic migrant who do highly paid, highly qualified work for which they as individuals are recruited die to their skill sets and their employers belief they couldn't recruit anyone more local for the specific role.

Expats can be arrogant xenophobic arseholes - I've met a few - or lovely people with a sense of adventure, or anything in between, but it's a more meaningful term than those after woke points for sneering at it notice. Countries which turn out a surplus of graduates turn out expatriate workers, in general.

Obviously a lot of people label themselves expats when they are nothing of the sort, because they think it sounds better than immigrant. People who retired to Spain because it was cheaper are a category of economic migrant, not ex pats except in the dictionary definition sense which makes anyone living outside their country of origin (from an asylum seeker or displaced person to a manual labourer or household helper to the head of a multinational company and making no distinction), is an expatriate.

Macca284 · 27/08/2019 17:09

@LegallyBritish

The house buying process in your home country sounds a lot better than it is here. It really needs reforming.

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 17:12

The house buying process in your home country sounds a lot better than it is here. It really needs reforming.

My DF was amazed at how easy it is to buy a house in England. No idea how it is now (I suspect nothings changed) but when he left Italy in the 60s it was a real palaver and all had to be overseen by a judge in court. The only real thing that needs reforming is to eliminate gazumping. But we all know that's never going to happen.

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