Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

[FishCanFly]

I will start:

• Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
• School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
• Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo

NoTheresa

The issue with not being direct is that it sounds more like a suggestion, but if you don't do it you make the person just as upset as if you would have just been told to do it in the first place. It's hard to gage people when they are like this and it causes confusion. In my home country, a request is not necessary to be done (but is nice), and an instruction is necessary. If I decide that since it is not necessary, I won't do it or I will do it later, it's because I misunderstood that the intention was to instruct rather than suggest.

In lots of other countries, school finishes earlier than in the UK.

People saying things they don't mean. I still get caught by that, especially when people say "we should do that again " after we've met up. I start organising another get together until I realise they were just being polite.

But equally, I like the distance that the typical British politeness creates. It allows for easy interactions, something that me and my fellow countrymen can never manage.

Things I like about the UK:

• no corruption, e.g. in the NHS. At least not on an everyday level that affects people's lives

• generally the society is more openminded about those who are different to them, and religion has a very limited influence on politics and civil society

• being introverted is considered less weird than where I come from, and personal boundaries are easier to define

• self deprecating humour. In my culture I often feel we take ourselves way too seriously and get offended easily but also speak more directly than the British so it's constant drama which is exhausting

Things I still have to or just can't get used to:

• family relationships being much more distant and defined by boundaries. Grandparents who refuse to look after grandkids etc. Everyone's much more involved where I'm from, people who aren't are considered an anomaly. Here having expectations of family members seems to be considered a serious transgression.

• the social pressure for kids to grow up as soon as possible

• food: I never tried any British delicacy or everyday food that I thought "wow!" Everything's been OK at best, usually tolerable. Sunday roast is not even particularly comforting as far as comfort food goes. And Brussel sprouts at Christmas make me sad.

@StockTakeFucks

An allergy warning that states that peanut butter might contain nuts is actually sensible as peanuts are not nuts. There are many allergy sufferers who could have tons of peanut butter with no issues but have a life-threatening reaction to just a crumb of tree nut.

Or allergy warning may contain fish on a packaged salmon fillet...

Frezia, I'm curious now as to what could be better than a spud roasted in goose fat! What is comfort food on your country of origin?

@NoTheresa these are not bad brilliant! Thank you, you've given me a much needed belly laugh .

Scotland is breathtaking

Damned with faint praise.

😉

itson

Or allergy warning may contain fish on a packaged salmon fillet...grin

Lol

I mean the allergies warnongs, surely it's just easier to put them on any product that contains that allergen than go through and decide what is too obvious to have on the packaging.

The one and only thing I had an issue with when I first moved here....carpets in bathrooms. WTAF?! 🤮

Other than that, I felt right at home. Then again, I do feel us Dutchies have a lot in common with the Brits. We definitely share the same sense of humour!

I never had an issue with the concept of school uniforms but did with the rigidity of having to wear it in all weathers. I can’t see kids being able to fully concentrate on their work whilst sweating like over heated cheese having to wear a full kit in warm spring/summer weather!

My DS’s friend had to sit his GCSE’s this year, wearing his blazer...?!

Have never seen a carpet in a modern bathroom! Did you arrive here in 1978?!

My first experience of a British swimming pool had carpet around it. The smell!!
However, I know this was rare as I’ve never seen one since 😂

Agree with the not expressing straight what they think - it was nightmare to decode the true meaning in the first few month. But it is just a code and I realised it's just another language I had to learn on top of learning English. But now I kind of love it - it makes everything so much more pleasant and polite. I toned my directness 50% down and still am considered a straight shooter in the UK, whilst in my home country my friends just don't get what I'm saying as it's obscured in polite UK riddles. Trapped between two cultures.

My general type is they underplay the good things and over exaggerate the bad. So:
It’s not too bad
It’s alright
It’ll do etc all mean it’s good.

That’s fantastic
That’s great
That’s marvellous etc usually mean it’s catastrophically shit.

General rule*

Have never seen a carpet in a modern bathroom! Did you arrive here in 1978?!

I was born in England in 1979 and have never seen a carpet in a bathroom 😷

Sophie Hagan gets some stick but I like her take on this issue.

I'm British but have lived abroad and we tend to be more relaxed about bedtimes and things like that and prefer that lifestyle.

My South African friend says the most important part of the English language is what is not said. That seems to be a great way of summing it up!

*Have never seen a carpet in a modern bathroom! Did you arrive here in 1978?!

I was born in England in 1979 and have never seen a carpet in a bathroom* 😷

Sadly many places I rented during the 2000s (particularly in wales) had carpet in bathrooms 🤢

We used to live in a house built in About 2004. It’s got carpets in bathroom and en-suite, separate hot and cold taps everywhere apart from kitchen, no shower over bath, very small splashbacks in kitchen and bathroom. And when we were house hunting last year we saw a lot of bathrooms with carpets.

"We lived in new built house with separate taps and no shower over a bath so washing hair was impossible."

Showers over the bath are usually an optional extra you have to select and pay for in a new build, if there is a shower in an en suite. Our bath doesn't have one but we have a shower en-suite, we didn't buy this from new, we plan to buy a new build and will pay for the tiling and shower so there's a family shower for the children.

And yes I'm not sure why we still haven't adopted mixed taps more commonly, only our kitchen's is, I had an American friend who complained about that!

@Aderyn19 Potatoes are nice, you're right. And Yorkshire puds, although I'm not big on gravy but that's less cultural and more personal taste. But the meat itself is a bit boring and the vegetables are a bit bland for me. I'm from southeastern Europe - dishes are not that different but we'd use more of the flavours like garlic and onion, pancetta, smoked paprika etc. Christmas turkey is accompanied with a sort of pasta that's baked in meat juices/fat.
We almost always have a side salad at dinner, and I was surprised to find out it's not often done here, particularly if the dish itself has veggies.

Oh , I found something... small talk.