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Original poster

Calling all immigrants. Any aspects of British culture you struggle with?

531 replies

FishCanFly · 27/08/2019 12:58

I will start:

  • Kids bedtimes. I've been called neglectful.
  • School uniforms. I could buy many more clothes within reasonable fashion.
  • Film\game ratings. Like if Skyrim would harm a 12yo
OP posts:
Macca284 · 27/08/2019 17:13

Speaking of property buying, is leasehold a thing elsewhere?

Macca284 · 27/08/2019 17:15

@DGRossetti

For me, it’s that I have to pay for the survey, conveyancing, book removal people, book time off work ready for completion, even though I don’t know the purchase is definitely going ahead. I have no legal rights until exchange, even then, the vendor can pull out (although I could sue). Must be a better way of doing it?

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 17:17

For me, it’s that I have to pay for the survey, conveyancing, book removal people, book time off work ready for completion, even though I don’t know the purchase is definitely going ahead. I have no legal rights until exchange, even then, the vendor can pull out (although I could sue). Must be a better way of doing it?

Of course there is. Just we'll never see it. Although I totally get the reason the buyer pays for the survey (which John Prescott didn't ...)

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 17:18

Speaking of property buying, is leasehold a thing elsewhere?

In Italy, (well the southern bit DF is from) owning land is rare to start with.

LegallyBritish · 27/08/2019 17:19

Leasehold is not a thing where I'm from. You either own or rent. Some houses have estate management fees (called HOA) and if you owned a flat it would be the same.

Basically, back in my home country you would put your offer in on a house and tell them (i.e. £500,000 and 30 day close, with close being the time they have to relinquish the property). The seller can then counter the offer and say what sort of close they want, if they wanted a longer time but that would be all written in to the contract so once they sign they cannot back out.

Chains seem to make it really hard to buy in at least England. It would cost us a lot of time and money (in solicitor's fees) just to have someone change their mind a couple months down the line.

71wheretogo · 27/08/2019 17:20

My husband struggles with the thing where, in a restaurant, the waiter asks if everything is allright, and we all say "Yes, lovely thank you" and then afterwards say how revolting it all was. He can't understand why we don't say at the time!

Macca284 · 27/08/2019 17:23

@LegallyBritish

Chains - Yes, it’s far too reliant on a lot of others keeping their word, rather than anything legally binding.

Macca284 · 27/08/2019 17:25

@LegallyBritish
@DGRossetti

It’s just that leasehold strikes me as being particularly feudal. I can understand it, to a certain extent, in blocks of flats as there will be joint maintenance expenses. Struggling to see how it is acceptable for houses though.

Aderyn19 · 27/08/2019 17:30

It's really interesting to see how other people view us.
In our defence, I will say that one person's plain speaking is another person's rude, so I quite like the hinting!

Palermonese · 27/08/2019 17:31

It’s just that leasehold strikes me as being particularly feudal

You need to read up on Sicilian land owners then Grin

AlexaShutUp · 27/08/2019 17:34

I'm British but have lived abroad for long periods and am married to an immigrant. Or is he an expat?!Confused

I don't get the early bedtime thing either. Or the business of having dinner at 5pm. It seems to me like many British parents just can't wait to pack their kids off to bed.

I like the indirect patterns of communication. I do find it rude and a bit crass when people are too direct. When I lived abroad, I found that people were equally indirect in my host country but they often assumed that I would find this strange. Instead, I fitted right in!Smile

I hate the crap customer service that we get in this country. I hate the culture of drinking to get drunk. And I hate the class system. However, I love the British countryside and I think British humour and general quirkiness is fab.

My DH finds British people quite cold and unfriendly. He thinks it's difficult to make friends and to get past the polite conversation stage. He also hates our weather and thinks we eat too many sandwiches!

berlinbabylon · 27/08/2019 17:35

As a Brit completely agree about school uniform. I do sort of agree with a uniform but it should be a straight-forward one, no fancy expensive blazers that are only available from one shop for £££. It is a leveller but on the other hand you can still tell a very bobbly jumper that doesn't fit properly because the parents can't afford to replace it. But it does avoid the kids playing top trumps with brands. So I am on the fence on that one!

As for the "class" system - it exists in every country but is simply about how much you earn. When I studied in Germany I never met anyone at uni whose parents were hard up. Nobody at all.

The "hinting at things" is more of a southern thing I think. Scots and northerners call a spade a spade! I am northern-born and have been told I am too direct. Yet in Germany I fitted in just fine ;)

drsausage · 27/08/2019 17:38

From memory, you don't vote for "da Prez" in the US either ...

Well... you do in that there is a checkbox where you choose your candidate. Sadly that doesn't necessarily mean that the candidate voted for by the majority ends up actually in power.

DGRossetti · 27/08/2019 17:39

Well... you do in that there is a checkbox where you choose your candidate. Sadly that doesn't necessarily mean that the candidate voted for by the majority ends up actually in power.

Where does the electoral college and disloyal voters come in then ?

Dieu · 27/08/2019 17:39

It is very interesting to see how others view us.
I agree that some can be far too controlled and disciplined about bedtimes. I am far more laidback about this. There was a thread on here recently, about a mum who was going to spend her evenings in the hotel room while on holiday, as her children would still have to go to bed early, as per their routine. I mean, that's just sad. That said, while on holiday in Spain this year, I did wonder how Spanish couples get any time alone. The kids were up and about so incredibly late!

School uniforms. Surely they have never been so cheap? Confused When I was a kid, the supermarkets didn't sell anything like that, and you'd have to go to a proper school uniform shop.

And I agree that it's silly not to be able to gently reprimand other people's children. The recent plane thread on here was bloody ridiculous.

drsausage · 27/08/2019 17:39

so many carbs in a sausage here

Yes - sausage with bread or rusk in it is quite British. Having been raised on it, I find sausages without it not quite right, even though I'm sure they're theoretically 'better'.

berlinbabylon · 27/08/2019 17:42

When I was a kid, the supermarkets didn't sell anything like that, and you'd have to go to a proper school uniform shop

But the point is that you can buy stuff in a supermarket now, but schools decide that it's not good enough and it has to have an expensive logo on it, so for example, rather than paying £10 for two polo shirts you have to pay £15 for one shirt and then a tie as well. Why oh why do kids in schools need to wear ties?

BrokenTelly · 27/08/2019 17:43

@DGRossetti
I am not American. Don't consider them terribly democratic either

berlinbabylon · 27/08/2019 17:43

while on holiday in Spain this year, I did wonder how Spanish couples get any time alone. The kids were up and about so incredibly late

A 6pm bedtime is silly, my ds never went to bed before 8pm.

But not eating before 11 at night? I could never fit in with Spanish culture. Far too late for me, we usually book a table for 7pm when we eat out (whether in the UK or overseas, in Spain 8.30 was the absolute earliest and obviously completely out of step with local custom).

AlexaShutUp · 27/08/2019 17:45

That said, while on holiday in Spain this year, I did wonder how Spanish couples get any time alone. The kids were up and about so incredibly late!

We often joke that we must be secretly Spanish. Their mealtimes and their approach to bedtimes suit us just fine.

We get our time alone as a couple when we need it, but we don't feel the need for endless childfree evenings. We're a family and we enjoy each other's company!

AlexaShutUp · 27/08/2019 17:49

But not eating before 11 at night? I could never fit in with Spanish culture. Far too late for me, we usually book a table for 7pm when we eat out (whether in the UK or overseas, in Spain 8.30 was the absolute earliest and obviously completely out of step with local custom).

Our hotel in Spain catered primarily to Spanish guests. The evening meal was served between 7pm and 10pm. Not that late, really. Most of the Spanish guests seemed to turn up between around 8pm and 9pm. Nobody was eating at 11pm.

I have been served dinner at 11ish in India though. That was a bit too late for me but anything up until 9.30ish is ok in my book.

PotolBabu · 27/08/2019 17:57

Immigrant from Asia here.
I love early British bedtimes. And my kids don’t get up at 5 am. And if they do they stay in their rooms. Or if my 7 year old wants time he stays in his room. I really like the separation of adult and child time. We have loads of family time but I also need head space for myself. That is not possible with a toddler rampaging about or a tween talking endlessly at you.

I am fine with school uniforms. I wore them all my life.

I do find British people quite reserved. And it took me some time to figure out as an undergraduate that ‘this is not a bad effort’ for an essay that got a good score meant that my lecturer was praising me.

I find British people a little sneery about people putting in effort, trying hard and parents being ‘pushy’. There are of course crazy South West London pushy parents but there was a pushy parents thread where people who did normal stuff that my parents did growing up- Reading to kids, museums, plays, taking them for cultural stuff, ensuring a bit of structured homework time in the holidays, giving them the opportunity to play musical instruments etc was roundly condemned as being ‘pushy.’

JingsMahBucket · 27/08/2019 18:08

What annoys me is this concept in the UK that’s it’s not part of Europe. Are y’all actually taught that in school or something??

Weston14 · 27/08/2019 18:12

I'm British and working abroad in a country which is part of the Global South for a fixed spell of a few months (am I a migrant? Ex-pat? Who knows! Confused ) and it is quite common here to see parents out in restaurants/bars with children very late at night. In fact, the other night I was at a bar (it served bar snacks but in general was very much a space for adults) at about 11pm and there was a birthday cake brought out for a child's party. I don't mind the later lifestyle here but I think there's a compromise to be made. Who wants kids running around at that time of night?

LegallyBritish · 27/08/2019 18:13

One difference I really like is adverts. They aren't as loud or annoying as back home, and some I actually like to watch (oddly enough) like Christmas ones.

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