How often has your significant other shouted at you?

[GymKitJen]

Like raised their voice in an argument?

Never in 20 years.

Spoken to me in a bit of an arsey way when pissed off about something, occasionally, but never shouted.

Maybe once in the 16 years we have been together.
I don't tolerate shouting at people, calm conversations are the way forward in our house.

I agree shins and I think it Depends on your background. I’m a chatty, heart on my sleeve person. I’m not afraid of conflict and don’t bottle up feelings. Happily married 23 years.

We are both very shouty, I couldn’t possibly count. We probably shout at each other several times a week. We have big tempers so have a bit of a shout and then move on. Everyone is different though.

Two or three times in twelve years. We’re not shouters really.

Shouting is different to raised voices. If DH was shouting in my face it would be unacceptable. I mean an argument which is normally louder than talking when I say raised voices. Obvious, no?

Im a shouty person. Can't bear protracted discussion, have a 2 minute rant, I'm done.

I can’t bear sulking or moodiness in general. Far better to express yourself and move on.

Never. 5 years together

Never in over 30 years

Oh not very often. A handful of times.
I’ve got a bit screechy with him though. My voice goes really high pitched and emotional when I’m wound up 😂

I don't understand threads on the relationships board when people say things like "all couples argue" and "we row fairly often like most couples" and "we shout quite often". If that's the case, surely you're in the wrong relationship?

I think arguing is a sign that you are invested in a relationship, not ever disagreeing suggests you don't care and have checked out of the relationship.

I do suspect there is some semantics going on here, really what's the difference between annoyed voices, heated discussion, niggles, disagreements, arguments, text ding dongs, raised voices, shouting, a row? All sound like arguments to me although if someone feels unsafe like a couple of the PPs then that is obviously not OK.

Shouting is something that can happen when you're happy (heard the neighbours shouting with excitement during the cricket world cup final, kids shout and scream in the garden when they are having fun) or when you are dealing with lots of people and need to be heard above the chit chat. A raised voice is not always worse than a quiet voice; you can whisper a threat. Shouting is not inherently bad.

Neither my DH nor I bottle things up. So yes things can get heated but we don’t swear at each other unless it’s a blow out and we’ve only had those a maximum of 3 times in ten years. I agree with a pp - arguing, whether it’s a shouty argument or not, is far healthier than not arguing.

Never. We have respect for each other.

I’m passionate and demonstrative. I have opinions and I like a debate. Sometimes they’re heated. We disagree sometimes and sometimes teen dc can push your buttons.
Find it weird for couples to not argue in a long term relationship.

Only a handful of times, been together for 3 yeas.

Ha ha ha I totally respect my DH and vice versa. I don’t always agree with him though.

Not arguing is fine, as long as neither party is bottling things up. If you're open with each other and discuss what's on your mind in a normal respectful conversation, there's no need to argue. At least that's how it works for us.

Me and my dp shout at each other sometimes. Not in your face shouting and frothing sort of arguing but both our voices are raised. We're both loud chatty people like a previous poster said, and we like getting everything out in the open instead of slow insidious resentment.

When we first started arguing (about 6 months into our relationship) we realised our style of arguing wasn't healthy. We looked at the relate site for help with this and now although we still shout a bit, our communication is much better, but with raised voices

8 years, never shouted at me. Maybe raised his voice at me once but he didn’t shout. I’ve maybe shouted once but that wasn’t at him, I was venting about a very stressful and upsetting situation. I’m much more quick to anger than my DH but I just can’t shout at him.

Never he wouldn't dare.

I don't think he's ever shouted at me (or I at him). We've maybe had the occasional heated moment but we're not shouters and I think I could count our genuine arguments on one hand and we've been together 12 years.

We are both very opinionated and have heated discussions about lots of things. But not shouting in each other's faces or anything like that. Been together 20 years.

I think arguing is a sign that you are invested in a relationship, not ever disagreeing suggests you don't care and have checked out of the relationship.

Absolutely not. Is it so hard to believe that other people, and their partners, have different personalities to you and that their relationships have different characteristics?

My relationship is very strong and neither one of us has 'checked out'. We sometimes disagree but we talk about it. We very very rarely argue (in fact I can't actually think of an argument we've had) which is different to our previous relationships. We consider it a good sign. We tend to have similar opinions, values, etc, and are both fairly laid back people, so it's hardly surprising.

I think arguing is a sign that you are invested in a relationship, not ever disagreeing suggests you don't care and have checked out of the relationship

But we're not talking about arguing. The thread is shouting at your other half. You can argue without shouting. You can even disagree without arguing. You're talking bollocks.