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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What drives you mad about MNers?

572 replies

omafiet · 27/07/2019 16:07

I woke up grumpy today and reading some posts is making me grumpier. Perhaps I'm turning into a curmudgeon. But sometimes I read posts and think "Good grief, woman, you don't help yourself, do you?"

The gems that seem to pop up with alarming regularity: "We live rurally and I don't drive" in a post complaining of a lack of access to, well, anything really.

Or: "We don't have any family close by to babysit so DH and I haven't been out on our own since 2004." Do what we all do then and pay for a babysitter!

Ugh. This heat is making me grouchy. Anything make you want to shake another MNer?

OP posts:
Bourbonbiccy · 02/08/2019 13:54

People who completely misquote you and rehash what you have said to suit their agenda and then get nasty when you point it out.

People who simply can't understand choice and just because they do things differently doesn't mean others are wrong.

Simply the aggression and gang mentality of bullying. The same people who (used to, as they seem to have disappear ) jump on someone and then all their allies jump on them as well. They could have argued the grass was blue and all their allies would fiercely agree.

Just pure nastiness, keyboard warriors who obviously lack something and just like to be mean to others. It's sad for them really, but it could have a negative on the reader if they are struggling.

Bourbonbiccy · 02/08/2019 13:58

Oh and the threads that moan about the fathers being incapable of looking after their 3 week old baby and everyone advises the op to........."just walk out and go shopping for the day and let him get on with it" .....he doesn't know how, why put your baby at risk to prove a point !!!!!!!

LaMarschallin · 02/08/2019 14:39

The total overuse of Confused and Hmm when someone disagrees with a post.
It seems to imply that, not only do they not agree, but that the post is either so bat-shit that they can't even understand it or that the poster has some ulterior motive.

I know that's true sometimes but the pulling-a-silly-face thing gets very tedious. Perhaps people could sometimes explain why they think something's unreasonable. With actual words.

icebearforpresident · 02/08/2019 14:54

Everyone that’s uses the phrase ‘SanPro’, usually in the context of someone using some in their bathroom

‘They changed their SanPro’ and left it in the bathroom bin 😩’ type.

Presumably you are a grown woman so just say pad/tampon or whatever, no one is embarrassed about it ffs.

Thegreymethod · 02/08/2019 15:55

When someone says Ddog dcat I cringe so badly 😩😩 just write dog or cat

LaMarschallin · 02/08/2019 16:00

When someone says Ddog dcat I cringe so badly
Oh gosh - yes!
I get DH or whatever as a form of shorthand (even when the H or whoever doesn't sound a bit D) but adding letters to show how much you love Ddog...

Soon it'll be DDH when he's really in the good books.
Who knows where it could end...

AmIChangingagain · 02/08/2019 16:15

Some posters who forget that this is mumsnet and not their own little private group and treat some threads as if they're personal fan pages. Especially when they have a head girl type who they all fawn over - even though she knows nothing about the alleged thread subject

DrFoxtrot · 02/08/2019 16:21

I agree with a PP who mentioned those posts where they've named people A, B, C and D and are difficult to follow.

Also on the same theme as posters not understanding how different regions have different access to public transport etc, those posters who think everything is like their lives -

'I didn't realise people had front doors that don't automatically lock when you shut it'

'Don't all schools have their residential trip on the Isle of Wight?'

'Why are you working over Christmas? Offices are shut for two weeks'

Really? Confused

midsomermurderess · 02/08/2019 16:34

I don't recognise these people some of you are keenly upset about, the gangs, their allies, 'they think mumsnet is their own'. You just sound a bit insecure and chippy. I suspect that is why these threads seem to pop up regularly now. A bunch of insecure chippy people wanting to have a pop at others.

moonlight1705 · 02/08/2019 16:38

Posters who think that the only worthwhile weddings are those done with two random witnesses and a knees up in a pub. Yes, great for some but for others then the frills of a wedding are the fun bits, most of the family like it and have a get together as do friends may be biased as met my DH at a wedding

In addition, its not normal to give a free bar at all weddings, again lovely if you can but its not expected and not frowned upon by those who actually come.

Weight loss threads where someone comes up with 'Just eat less and move more' and 'a calorie is a calorie'...have they actually read any of the latest scientific research showing this is simply not the case???

PixieLumos · 02/08/2019 16:50

People who ask ‘would you consider this healthy?’, followed by a list of things such as avocados, quinoa, blueberries and cottage cheese...

x2boys · 02/08/2019 17:03

Posters who think it is Great big wilderness beyond London , a poster started a thread about moving out London ,and one person advised her not to do it because after she moved out ( to a very rural place) there was one bus a day ,one small village shop etc ,I know there are places like that but a lot of cities and large towns won't be like that.

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 02/08/2019 17:04

I don't recognise these people some of you are keenly upset about, the gangs, their allies, 'they think mumsnet is their own'.

I would venture to say it seems less prevalent these days but there are definitely cliques and a few queen bee types that are not completely dissimilar to what we witnessed in the playground as kids. It would amuse me when various sycophants would hold back responding on a thread untill said queen bee had passed judgement at which stage they would all wade in with support. Some of the responses would be quite toady "as usual x is spot on". It was even more amusing when at times these folk were proven to be wrong when someone with actual expertise and direct experience in the matter concerned would give their thoughts and the thread quickly turned nasty because someone dared to challenge the official view.

feelingverylazytoday · 02/08/2019 17:28

People who think obesity ia always down to food addictions and disordered eating.
People who refuse to accept that weight loss is down to CICO, in the vast majority of cases.
And yes, sorry, Moonlight1705 there is a lot of research to prove that this is the case.

QueenOfIce · 02/08/2019 17:44

The people who can't help tell others how they've not had a single night off/away since dc were born 4 years ago. You chose to have kids, isn't that part of parenting?!

Also the posters who have several children all still very young then complain about their lot in life as if having 3 dc under 3 is huge burden. Stop having kids!

OooErMissus · 02/08/2019 17:53

I don't recognise these people some of you are keenly upset about, the gangs, their allies, 'they think mumsnet is their own'. You just sound a bit insecure and chippy. I suspect that is why these threads seem to pop up regularly now. A bunch of insecure chippy people wanting to have a pop at others.

Couldn't agree more.

I've been here 10 years through various name changes, and have never observed 'sychophants' waiting for 'queen bees' to arrive to declare their thoughts on a thread before wading in to support.

This seems beyond obsessed with, and invested in, the place,

I think if you're this perturbed by the way threads go, feel you're that much on the out, and so aggrieved as to even notice the phenomenon, it's probably time to just put your phone down and step away from Mumsnet....

PanGalaticGargleBlaster · 02/08/2019 20:16

I think if you're this perturbed by the way threads go, feel you're that much on the out, and so aggrieved as to even notice the phenomenon, it's probably time to just put your phone down and step away from Mumsnet...

It's an amusing observation, I doubt anyone is feeling 'so aggrieved' over it. But having been lurking here on and off for a number of years it has been a noticed phenomenon. Don't be so defensive, maybe you should put the phone down and step away.

OooErMissus · 02/08/2019 21:40

Defensive of what? Not seeing supposedly bad something...?

Funny.

OooErMissus · 02/08/2019 21:42
  • 'Not seeing something supposedly bad happening', that should be.
ScarlettOHarasWaist · 02/08/2019 23:34

The refusal by some posters to accept that not everyone has the same life experiences .

StillCoughingandLaughing · 03/08/2019 00:58

I've been here 10 years through various name changes, and have never observed 'sychophants' waiting for 'queen bees' to arrive to declare their thoughts on a thread before wading in to support.

What do you want, a bun? Just because YOU haven’t seen it, it doesn’t mean it didn’t happen.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/08/2019 01:06

People who see a thread that ostensibly holds no interest for them and, instead of just ignoring it and scrolling by like a normal person, feel the need to click into the thread and then take the time to ask "Who actually cares about this rubbish?" Well, considering that the vast majority of MN users didn't engage with this thread, but you did - it would appear that YOU care about it.

Those who post a grainy scan picture and ask others to say if they think it's a girl or boy. Answers are invariably 50:50 and surely of no use whatsoever.

Posters who use the same or near identical and specific phrasing as the post above theirs, but don't quote it or say "I agree with this" - they post it as if it's just popped into their head. Sometimes you get three or four near identical posts in a row. Not just standard acronyms or common and predictable responses, but sometimes quite distinct phrasing. It always reminds me of people who, when asked e.g. "Would you say that your family is important to you?", will parrot it back: "I would say that my family is important to me" rather than the more natural "Yes, I certainly would".

That stupid biscuit. People think they're so clever when they smugly reply with nothing but a biscuit. I suppose they think it's an automatic sign of undeniable superiority and rectitude, but I always take it as a clear demonstration that, whilst they actively want to engage with the conversation, they sadly don't possess the verbal skills to be able to explain why they disagree with the OP/PP, much less actually add any further thoughts of their own.

I have RTFT and add my 100% support to those complaining about people who don't RTFT - especially those who actually start their response by confirming it, as if that justifies it. Whenever somebody asks why people don't RTFT before commenting, you always get people who say "But I'm busy; oh, excuse me for not having time to read 16 pages" etc. All they're saying is that their time is more important than anybody else's: The thread is too long for me to be expected to read, but here I am happily making it longer with the same comments as we've already had a hundred times and/or with irrelevant musings now that the thread has moved on and expecting other people to read my comment as well as all the rest. I know it's not the same thing entirely, but I wonder how these people would react if they had a GP appointment, told the doctor their symptoms and concerns and then s/he said "Well, I haven't listened to anything that you've told me, but have you tried losing weight or giving up smoking?"

Bespin · 03/08/2019 01:07

The targeting of individuals or the attack posts on others especially in the feminist forum.

Also the exceptance of other to allow a few people to dictate how a forum or thread goes.

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 03/08/2019 01:17

Oh, and people who tell you off for starting a thread about something that they personally deem unthreadyworthy - usually falls into one of two camps: "Don't you have anything more important to concern yourself with? I wish that's all I had to worry about" OR "Did you really need to ask if you were BU there?".

Firstly, it's a general chat forum, not the UN or COBRA committee. It will cover a huge range of topics of greater or lesser importance - but how important a topic is will vary significantly between different people. Again, if it's not one to interest you, just scroll on by.

Secondly, although the major traffic-centre is AIBU, it's not a blanket black-or-white way of finding a definitive answer to that literal pondering and nothing else. Often, OPs know full well that they aren't BU at all (although some have come to doubt their own sanity and clarity of thinking under the circumstances and may be vulnerable or being gaslighted); but it's a way of sharing general concerns, looking for different interpretations, opinions and advice and often just venting.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 03/08/2019 01:58

Oh, and people who tell you off for starting a thread about something that they personally deem unthreadyworthy - usually falls into one of two camps: "Don't you have anything more important to concern yourself with? I wish that's all I had to worry about" OR "Did you really need to ask if you were BU there?".

Absolutely. It’s like they think there’s a finite number of threads and we have to justify every one.