On the whole I feel that a 25 year age gap between a couple is a bit much

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

I think of the people I know who are 25 years younger than me and tbh I have so little in common with them. Same with people who are 25 years older. It's a whole generation age gap.

My dad and step mother had a 17 year age gap which was very keenly felt during her child bearing years and later when he got sick and died.

In my real life the biggest age gap between any of my couple friends is 9 years and they sometimes really feel it too!

In short, I suppose I think - Michael Sheen what's going on here?

Not in my case There is a running joke in my friendship group that i "wear the trousers in my relationships"

And that's exactly why I said I was talking my experience. Not everyone. I actually said it's not true for all relationships.

Though I find the 'wearing trousers' phrase very odd in general.

But, just wanted to ask, what is the reason you consistently go for older men. Can you pick out what it is?

its just a preference You know the same way its okay not to date anyone over a certain dress size which comes up on here quite often.

In this case though nobody asks why that is. Instead there is usually an influx of posters telling them that their preference is their preference and they are entitled to date who they want.

Do the same rules not apply here and if not why not?

@HelenaDove I am not saying you cant or shouldnt dating them.

I just wonder what it is that only make you attracted to older men.

So in 20s only want to date guys in 30s. Then in 30s only want guys in 40s.

I also wonder what it is when people only date a certain type. So I have a friend who is only attracted to blonde men. I always wonder why.

I am quite interested in things that come naturally to people and just wondered if you had a reason. That's all

You didnt need to answer if it bothered you though

A friend of mine has been with her DP for a decade, they met when she was 19 and he was 56. Shit quick maths, 37 year age gap?

They’re still together and very happy by all accounts. He has children older than her so it’s a little weird, they look like Father and daughter if not Grandfather and daughter. He’s not a ‘young’ 66 year old looks wise although he tries to be wearing vans trainers and such... Her mum was not happy about the partnership for a very long time which is kind of understandable.

No i dont mind answering. Its what im attracted to. People arent always attracted to the types that the media says we should be.
When people blather on about Brad Pitt or George Clooney (im sure they are nice people) but i just dont/cant see it.

It didnt help that men my own age always treated me like crap. Ive also seen friends with partners near to their own age end up doiing everything. Its so normalized.

I like a man who is funny respectful and mature

I dont want a gamer or someone who will fuck off on a stag jolly

Its just not me Im no bothered about a guy looking "ripped" either. I like a bloke to look a bit lived in.

Its just what im attracted to I cant really explain it any better.

Last partner (until cancer intervened) was 20 years apart from me in age. My friends in our pub circle range between 22 and 73 - no issues whatsoever and a joyous bunch of people!!

That's what's makes it interesting to me.

I have a friend who, objectively I look at and know he is gorgeous. Like movie star goregous. But I don't fancy him, despite most women I know swooning over him. So I get that.

I dont date men shorter than me. Because when I hug them it reminds me of my abusive exh . When I hug someone taller theres no connection to exh in my mind.

Age interests me, because of what I said before. If you are in your 20s and guys of a similar age treats you badly or you arent attracted to them and prefer men in their 30s. What changes when someone gets to 30s and men in their 30s no longer seem like the right type or treat someone their own age badly.

Just interests me.

@Bodicea first marriage for us both and only our own kids, thanks for asking - nothing like an assumption about an age gap relationship!

I have to say a considerable age gap plus a baby after, what, four or five months dating at most doesn't strike me as a terribly good idea.

I don't think large age gaps are a good idea though I get it works for some people.

Leila D'Onofrio is dating Sean Penn who is 32 years older than her - bleurgh - and only a year younger than her dad.

Crazy stuff.

I think you have to define what is this couple? and then you have to ask why are they a couple and when you have reasoned that out you may find it is more understandable that it seemed at first glance.

Then you have to overlay whatever conclusion you reached with the indefatigable truth that you could be wrong.

I cannot see any actually offensive comments on this thread anyway.

When I see an older man with a much much younger woman I think that he is just using her for sex and boasting to other men about it and that she has some kind of insecurities or is using him for property.or money

I guess she has Daddy issues

In reality it’s often a bit of desperation from the older partner’s part combined with lack of self-esteem or daddy / mummy issues on the younger partner’s part

we all know exactly why an older man wants a younger partner

These are just from page 1. Hope that helps.

@WalkofShame is right. The "Daddy issues" trope is offensive. It's not even a thing, just pure spite dressed up in psychobabble. It's no more logical than saying "She's dating a guy three years younger than her. Must have little-brother issues!" Or even, "Her husband's Jamaican. I guess she's got black-guy issues". So, while an older partner may be someone's type, there's no need to make out that it's some kind of sick perversion, or to objectify the man purely because of his age in relation to his wife's.

4 years between me and my Dh I'm the younger one

19 yrs between me and DH. For me the advantages massively outweigh the disadvantages. 2 yrs between my parents, my father died in his 50’s following I’ll health, my mother cared for him and has been widowed a long time. She has dealt with a lot of the disadvantages (although their marriage was extremely strong and again the advantages I believe totally outweighed the disadvantages). To each their own but in my experience limiting your pool of partners based on age reduces the pool of compatible partners and would therefore lead to increased likelihood of problems. In the end though people’s relationships are none of my/your business. That you feel it is your place to pass judgement on something you have no experience of speaks volumes.

My partner's 21 years older then me, I hadn't intended to be with someone so much older but we met, got on well and have been a couple now for a few years. He has 3 kids from a previous marriage who are only slightest younger then me...it was awkward with them at first but ok now.

I'm actually the one of us with the better job and more money, so I'm certainly not with him for that. I also no and accept that I'm likely to outlive him but I'm happy now and who knows what the future holds for anyone?

I think I couldn't do that as I want noone older than my parents but I'm back on the market and looking for an older guy as they are my organised in life and more emotionally mature I'm 22 and I'm looking 26-35