On the whole I feel that a 25 year age gap between a couple is a bit much

[Nextphonewontbesamsung]

I think of the people I know who are 25 years younger than me and tbh I have so little in common with them. Same with people who are 25 years older. It's a whole generation age gap.

My dad and step mother had a 17 year age gap which was very keenly felt during her child bearing years and later when he got sick and died.

In my real life the biggest age gap between any of my couple friends is 9 years and they sometimes really feel it too!

In short, I suppose I think - Michael Sheen what's going on here?

I wouldn't see it as a real relationship! Give it ten minutes. It'll be over soon.

My DH (39) has a mate the same age as him who is engaged to his 18 year old girlfriend who he started dating when she was 17.

I hadn't met her and it made me and DH feel really uncomfortable when we heard. We have since met up with them after a lot of requests to meet and I feel worse about it now.
She is technically an adult but I see her as a child.

Most dysfunctional relationships are between people of similar ages.

I wouldn't want to be with someone 25 years older than me, or 25 years younger than me, but if others do good luck to them. As long as they're both fully grown adults and as long as there isn't some weird power imbalance then I don't see a problem.

When my step mother started having children she was 32 (so not ancient) and was done by 38. But my Dad meanwhile was 47 to 53 in that same time span and his younger children (me and my brother) were born when he was in his late 20s/early 30s.

The result is that he died when his second family were younger and they feel cheated. His widow faces many more years alone unless she meets someone new. Her life was somewhat curtailed by having to care for the children pretty much on her own (because my Dad felt too old for it and "it was her choice to have kids") and then care for him when he became ill and died in his early 80s.

I rate Michael Sheen but honestly can't see why a 25 year old would love him enough to make him the father of her pfb.

25 years is too much. 17 years is pushing it. 10 years is remarkable and beyond the realms of my experience.

Nearly ten years between us - the gap is more apparent the older we get.

"Most dysfunctional relationships are between people of similar ages"

Isn't that because most relationships per se are between people of similar ages?

For me the problem is more the fact that his daughter is only 5 years younger than his girlfriend. That must be so awkward.

I couldn't date someone 25 years younger than me because they would be 7 years old. Infant school children don't do it for me.

Well of course. But it was in response to the comment about Boris Johnson and his partner and how that points to the unsuitability of age gap couples. Boris Johnson was a shitty husband to his first two wives who were of a similar age to him. The age gap is kind of irrelevant with men like that.

Michael Sheen has always given me the creeps. The thought of doing anything sexual with him skeeves me out.

13 years difference here. I'm late 30s, DH is early 50s. We've just had a baby.

Yes, I do worry sometimes, and DH does, about what life will be like in 30 years. But both DH's parents are around 80 and still going strong, DH has a good diet and enjoys walking and cycling, doesn't drink to excess, doesn't smoke. So there's no reason he won't be a fit and healthy 80-year-old. I have cousins the same age as him and he has other friends the same age as me. We get on very well together.

I do think, though, there comes a point when an age-gap can be more problematic. I know a 20-year-old in a relationship with a 60-year-old. He has children older than her. They cannot connect in terms of music or films they like, he doesn't understand her technology use, she wishes he could be more active at weekends. I worry about why she's in the relationship with him (father-figure, I think), but I'm not very close to her and it has sod all to do with me, so I say nothing.

People who feel the need to comment on someone else’s relationship and make it into something seedy, it says far more about you than the people you are bitching and making massive assumptions about.

Still, I suppose that we were due for another outing for everyone to call people names because of who they fall in love with. I just can’t help but feel that unless you’re one of the people directly involved, it has fuck all to do with you.

It's pretty large, it's fine when you are fit and well but it changes as you age. Too often the younger becomes a carer

ThisIsMeOrIsIt

So I guess you can see what I'm saying? 13 years between you and your dh, which is half the age gap I'm talking about. 25 years is very different again to 13 years.

I work with someone who is 40 and her hubby 64 I haven't met him so I can't judge but she assures me he's a young 64

@MonkeyToesOfDoom

DH is 23 years older than me. We began dating when i was almost 19 and he was 42 I didnt start dating him for his money

I prefer older men. The older men i have dated have been

1 a hospital porter

1. a delivery driver
2. a care worker (DH although he was an engineer previously ) Yep Im all about the money

In DHs case it wasnt for sex either Im the only younger woman he has ever dated/been married to/lived with. Unlike vice versa where i have dated more than one older man.

When i was in my late teens i didnt like the way males my own age treated me. Much like i see now only now there is smartphone porn and the expectation to shave your pubic region. I was also badly bullied at school by other girls but by a lot of other boys as well. This fucked up my trust in people and also ruined my faith in human nature.

In fact one of the girls who bullied me happens to be the sister of DHs ex wife. I did not know this till a few weeks after we started dating.

DH grew up in an era of big social change with a feminist mother who sadly i never got to meet .

DH is now 69 and im 46

25 years would put DH just a few years off my parents' age, so that would be strange. I admit I would find it weird if a friend had a partner 25 years older or younger, hanging out would be interesting. But I'd never say anything.

One of my step-sisters has a 17 year age gap with her DH. What's really eew is that her DH was her dad's friend and the same age (step-dad was only 17 when she was born, his first wife was a few years older than him).

Richard Gere’s wife is 33 years younger
Imagine being 33 when your partner was born
Wierd

I have a family member who is in a serious relationship with someone who is 25 years younger.
They seem very happy together. I know they have talked about the fact that the younger is likely to be left alone at a relatively young age but they could have 25-30 great years together first?

My ex is 51 and his girlfriend 30. Our daughters are 19 and 21. I think it is very wrong of him - he has had a vasectomy and told our girls they have agreed not to have children. I think he is being cruel to his girlfriend, and I think she is a fool.

Dh is 14 years younger than my parents. My parents didnt have me until they were 37

Incidentally DBs partner (SIL ) is 61 DB is 44 this year.

Age gaps flex really don’t they. Really young partners with middle aged partners - a bit worrying about inappropriateness / power games. Early middle age - late middle age = not a problem. Late middle age with elderly partner seems problematic. Thinking about spritely 60-somethings compared with doddery 80-somethings is sad.

The other issue is second marriages and age gaps. Is it right to be closer in age to your stepchildren than your spouse? I know a couple where the woman is 15 years older than her second husband, who is 10 years older than her daughter. When they go out as a family people assume that the stepdad is the daughter’s boyfriend as they look far more compatible age-wise.

Age gaps like this always make me think of Monica & Richard in ‘Friends’:

‘Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30 and dad would say "god I hope they get together"’

🤣, but also 🤢🤢🤢