DD getting back/forth to school. Got myself in to a complete state!

[MayorMumbum]

After huge amounts of issues with bullying/mental health issues and moving house we have finally gotten DD in to a good secondary with strong pastoral care. It's been four months of sleepless nights and calls/meetings with the council etc and generally been a really awful time for our whole family. BUT we have now realised that due to bus changes DD is going to have to get herself back and forth to this school every day, it's a twenty five minute walk away and she would be on her own. Or she could get the bus but due to the changes she'll be getting up at half six, having to get to the bus stop then loiter in the school library/cafe for half an hour both before and after school.

I could put her on the bus in the morning as its round the corner but she would have to wait at the bus stop alone on the other end every day after school after most of the kids have gone home.

Please give me some advice/reassurance on if this seems doable? She's so young still and just doesn't seem ready for this (either am I!) I've barely slept a wink.

Abductions are so incredibly rare it's really not worth worrying about. It is worth talking to her (in a calm way) about not getting in strange cars, how to call to help etc.
In reality the most dangerous thing is crossing the road. I drummed in the importance of looking both ways and never taking a risk with my dd. She's 19 now and has always been very good at crossing the road

The walk sounds far better than hanging around bus stops in the cold weather. The walk will do her good.

“or that the bus I’m going to meet him from is nearly here.“

Why doesn’t he tell you that?

You really shouldn’t know where he is on a DofE expedition- it’s supposed to be fostering independence

Huh. DS is currently on his DoE Gold Residential sailing a tall ship from Aberdeen to Norway. I’ve been having a grand time tracking their progress across the North Sea and into the fjords. DS doesn’t know I’m doing this and I can’t see any harm

MarineTraffic is cool, isn’t it?

It’s great! Especially when I can then google where he currently is and see things like...

Have you considered a bicycle? I would imagine she’d be a less likely target that way. Alternatively do you have any family that could walk with her? Or room to get an au pair?

“or that the bus I’m going to meet him from is nearly here.“

”Why doesn’t he tell you that?”

Text me when he’s nearly home you mean? Well he could but a) he doesn’t need to because I can see for myself and b) because tracking is more accurate. He could (if he remembers) text me approximately 5 minutes ish from home, but that could be 15 minutes depending on traffic, or I could track him myself and step out of the front door 30 seconds before the bus pulls up.

It’s not strictly necessary, like so many technological solutions we now have, but it’s easier all round, so why on earth not?!

By tracking I can also see whether he/DS2 are likely to be on the earlier or later side of the 20 minute time frame their bus usually arrives within, which is handy when it comes to deciding whether I need to leave the office, whether I’ve got time to pick the dog up, run to the shop or whatever. Again, could manage without, but I’m incredibly busy juggling lots of different balls, and this makes my life a tiny bit easier! So why not?!

Honestly OP I don’t really worry about abductions - I mean it’s honestly so rare. I worry more about road safety for example and so I need them to have confidence and independence to be able to learn that. I have 12 and 8 year olds. Keeping them always close is tempting but it’s not good for them at all - I don’t leave my 8 year old home alone but she’s allowed to play out with her friends and she’s able to go into shops on her own etc.

I still think walking is the best option. And alone if possible. Time to decompress, think, listen to music. But it does depend on the road. If it’s got a good pavement, and it’s not scarily isolated then go for it.