Your most ridiculous household related injuries please...

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I speak as a person who has ripped her half thumb nail off emptying a washing machine and earlier on I was dancing to very loud music whilst emptying the dishwasher (neglecting to see how much water had dropped on the floor)

Feet went east and west causing me to do the weirdest box splits and land with the cutlery tray right on my nethers-

I’m currently sat on the sofa with an ice pack feeling like one of those men who goes to A&E with a hoover stuck to their cocks.

I ended up in A&E after head butting a cactus!

we have an island in our kitchen that houses the washing machine and i am always walking into the dammed thing, lived here nearly 5 years you would think i could avoid it by now

I grated a layer of my skin into the cheese
I scalded my hand whilst sterilising a bowl.
My DP jumped up to entertain toddler DS and smacked his head right into the beam.
^ ouch.

Dropped a full bottle of wine on tiled kitchen floor. Glass and wine everywhere, I cut my toe quite badly so a fair amount of blood mixed in too. Took forever to clear up, and house stuck like a brewery for hours after.

Oh my

These are GRIM!

I dropped a wardrobe down the stairs onto dh once, luckily he only suffered a few bruises!

Did you pivot?

Knocked myself out opening the back door into my head
Punched myself in the face trying to open the fridge
Tore ligaments tripping over the hoover whilst trying to change direction when hoovering

Astonishing I survived to middle age, really

I dropped a lovingly made apple crumble as I lifted it out of the oven. It landed upside down on my bare foot.

I don't know what was more painful, the fact I had molten apples on my foot or the fact I didn't have any apple crumble to eat!

Flushed the toilet and the handle snapped. Back of my hand caught on the jagged edge of it that was left and opened it up. Had to get stitches in A&E. Many amused HCPs.

I dislocated my finger on a door frame running to answer a phone which wasn't actually ringing

I broke My toe by walking into the corner of a bed.
I broke another toe on holiday by pulling a pull out bed on it.
I've had a car door slammed on my foot. Not broke it but it's never fell normal again.
I've nearly took my thumb off by pulling two wire scourers apart.
I gave myself a black eye when younger by swinging on a chair.

Sliced through a ligament in my left forefinger with a stick blender while trying to clear a tangled mess of half-cooked carrot fibre from the blades. My DD was 5 months old at the time, and I was sleep deprived and unfit to be in charge of a blender.

I also cut the bit between thumb and forefinger trying to squash a baked bean can. A spectacularly deep and bloody cut, but luckily wound glue and weird shaped plasters sorted it.

This was about 10 yrs ago, I was mopping the floor to music while wearing crocs, spun around and went flying as I went down the corner edge of the dinning table went into my ribs.. I have never been in so much pain in my life childbirth was easier !
I cried my bloody eyes out, managed to drag myself to a sitting position and sat there for a while deciding what was best between the sobs. Anyway called DH, he came home and took me to hospital.
The bruising and pain lasted for a very long time, it was the shape of a comet !
I still dance, but no longer where crocs

I still have a bit of an egg on my head from Monday when the rotary washing line blew over and hit me.

Someone had made an arch where the kitchen extension was built on. It does NOT stick out at all, it is completely flush with the worktops.

I have been walking into it as I pass the damn thing for SIX YEARS. I know it is there FFS.

I slammed the back door on my foot the other day on the way in. Have a huge bruise.

I scalded my toes with the steam mop this morning.

The day (many years ago) the watering can caught fire in the kitchen! It was plastic and leaking through the seam. I had the brilliant idea of heating the plastic so it would (hopefully) seal the leak. There may have been traces of fertiliser or weedkiller on the watering can and I may have moved it slightly too close to the naked flame I was using to heat a metal screwdriver to melt the plastic. Whatever, there was a sudden sheet of flame up to the ceiling and all I could think was "I can't call the fire brigade and tell them my watering can has caught fire"

I must have loads as am v clumsy but can't think of any!

Bent down to unload the washer and cracked my head open on the sharp corner of the worktop

And not me but DH - scalded his foot when the Thermos he was fiddling with (demonstrating it to a work colleague) came apart and shed its contents. It was a funky design where the bottom half could be unscrewed - funnily enough I don't think they sell that model any more.

I was on my laptop and siting with my foot under my bum. I hadn’t noticed but my foot and lower leg had gone completely numb.

I stood up and couldn’t work out why my leg couldn’t bear weight, I jumped/hopped around like an idiot for a second or two, span around and landed on my arse.

Bruised my coccyx really really badly. DH couldn’t understand what I had done and thought it was utterly hilarious and stood there laughing before helping me up!

Landoflostcontent

That is so funny

Laughing. Hard.

I lifted the lid on the steamer, cooking carrots as I always did, which somehow blew back and I ended up with a serious burn and three months of dressings and appointments with skin graft surgeons as they weren't sure how it would heal.