Your most ridiculous household related injuries please...

[FurCoatNoSnickers]

I speak as a person who has ripped her half thumb nail off emptying a washing machine and earlier on I was dancing to very loud music whilst emptying the dishwasher (neglecting to see how much water had dropped on the floor)

Feet went east and west causing me to do the weirdest box splits and land with the cutlery tray right on my nethers-

I’m currently sat on the sofa with an ice pack feeling like one of those men who goes to A&E with a hoover stuck to their cocks.

Sitting opposite my friend on very comfy chairs. There was a coffee table between us so when my friend asked for a hand up out of said comfy chair I got up and leant over the coffee table to give her my hand. Something went wrong because as she put her hand up to take mine I got ready to bear her weight and for some reason pulled back BEFORE we had connected or hands. I flew back into my chair - hurting my coccyx on the frame while my friend sat in her chair with her hand still out and a stunned look on her face.
Makes me laugh when I think about it from her point of view ( and my injury healed enough for the pain to be forgotten).

I once stuck a knife into a puffed off toasted pita to release the steam ... steam puffed out into my belly and caused a blister. Still scarred almost 20 years later

Knocked the printer off its shelf onto my bare foot this afternoon. Don't know if I've broken a bone in my foot but my toes and top of my foot are a nice shade of blue now. Held ice packs on it for a couple of hours. What an eejit.

I once knelt on a sewing needle and it went into my knee and then out, just like doing a stitch. I cringed pulling it out.

Tripped over the doorstep and broke my toe

Kicked the door frame and then broke the same toe again

Slipped in the bath & grabbed the shower hose - it gave black eye from it falling on my face

I sniffed a scented candle to see what it smelt like...

It was lit at the time... I could smell burnt nose for days!

I tore my nail off peeling a banana. My toddler won't let me peel a banana now 😊

Just before Christmas last year I broke my toe when I kicked the shower screen on getting out of the shower.
Then on Boxing Day I was carrying some side plates and a bowl of crisps upstairs (our main living room is on the first floor). I had five side plates in one hand with a jar of dip on the top one. I must've been holding them at a funny angle as I couldn't move my wrist the following day and it took several weeks before I could use the wrist without an horrendous pain. Even now, over six months later, it still hurts depending on what I'm doing, and writing is one thing that is very uncomfortable.

A month afterwards, just when the wrist was easing a little bit, I tore a ligament in my finger in a dog lead incident.

Urgh, some pretty nasty scrapes on here! I've not done anything in adulthood, and nothing very remarkable in childhood! The older I get the more fearful I get. These things must really hurt so I'm an increasingly cautious person!

Dropped a baked potato straight from the microwave onto my big toe, that fucking hurt and has put me right off them.

Not me but DD... just now, stubbed a toe on one foot and bruised the heel on the other foot on the back of the sofa while doing a very enthusiastic and vigorous rendition of the fortnite dance

Broke my toe as I tried to walk past the high chair.

Many burns from ovens, irons and hobs.

I've grated my finger a couple of times.

Gave myself a black eye while hoovering.

Not household but at work, the first aid box fell on a colleagues head and knocked her out. It was an old-fashioned, heavy wooden one that had obviously not been fixed securely to the wall and she was sitting underneath it.

I was cutting tomatoes whilst talking to my husband and absentmindedly used the knife to scratch my arm. Still have the scar 10 years later 🤦

DH cut the palm of his hand open cutting a frozen bagel. He wouldn’t go to A&E so I ended up stitching it after watching a couple YouTube videos

I gave myself a magnificent shiner after opening a cupboard door onto my face.

Fell off my bed while trying to get the cat off the wardrobe. Lost my footing, shattered my ankle and broke my fib. Two ops, 8 pins and two plates later, it took my four months to recover
Fucking cat is still a bitch 5 years later!

Not me but DH, changing the bulb in the fridge, very badly electrocuted himself and knackered the muscles in his arms. Over a year and a half later he still doesn’t have full strength back.

I slipped getting out of a car and tore the ligaments in my knee

Thought I was being clever using one hand to put a rather heavy cast iron casserole dish away in the cupboard and it fell off the shelf breaking my big toe. My daughter was 2 at the time so couldn’t even swear as loudly as I wanted !

Oh..that photo of the nail 🤮

Apart from grating my knuckle 🤮 I once dropped a tub of cornflour as the sides of the tub flexed and it hit the worktop coating me in cornflour and coated my eyes at the same time, let me tell you it’s hard to get cornflour out of your eyes!

Paranoid allergic reaction to a medication rushed to the bathroom and caught two toes on the bed - ripped and broken.

raises hand. Another avocado injury here.

I was trying to flick the stone out of half an avocado with a serrated knife. I don’t know why I didn’t use a spoon like a normal person. I was in a stroppy mood, too, so when it would come free I just persisted.

Until it flicked out suddenly, flew across the kitchen and the knife - it turned out, after I’d driven myself to A&E, hand swathed in steristrips and bandages - had severed a nerve and tendon in my index finger.

Plastic surgery the next day to re-attach it all. 7 years on and that finger has never straightened back up or fully regained feeling.

The nurse said people get that injury either from avocados, or separating frozen burgers. I think she was trying to cheer me up when she said she reckoned an avocado was classier!

Fell on the stairs. The edge of the step left an indent in my arse cheek, it’s still there a year or so later. I was in agony when it happened. Worst pain ever, couldn’t move, though I might of broken my pelvis, so instead of calling an ambulance I asked on MN what to do!

Fell from the top of the stairs at the weekend. Bruised my coccyx I assume. Worst pain I've been in for years.