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Original poster

Your most ridiculous household related injuries please...

174 replies

FurCoatNoSnickers · 05/07/2019 16:45

I speak as a person who has ripped her half thumb nail off emptying a washing machine and earlier on I was dancing to very loud music whilst emptying the dishwasher (neglecting to see how much water had dropped on the floor)

Feet went east and west causing me to do the weirdest box splits and land with the cutlery tray right on my nethers-

I’m currently sat on the sofa with an ice pack feeling like one of those men who goes to A&E with a hoover stuck to their cocks.

OP posts:

Kanga83 · 05/07/2019 18:02

I've also fallen over a bed frame drunk as a student and broke 4 toes

ChernobylFallout · 05/07/2019 19:25

I was fixing the computer desk, so moved the computer onto a high-ish shelf to get it out of the way. Fixed the desk; felt smug; then managed to drop the computer keyboard on my own face when lifting it back down. Fat lip for a week Cue much reminiscing with DP about when Brian Harvey managed to run himself over with his own car

Bluearsedfly36 · 05/07/2019 19:34

I was taking my empty wine bottle through to the kitchen bin smacked my little toe on the door frame on the way in and broke it.

BlackeyedGruesome · 05/07/2019 19:46

I ahve just hurt my dodgy hip laughing at this thread. the whole body shaking laugh has shook it about too much.

I took off 1/3 of my toe nail under the cooker when I slipped in some food that I had batch cooked and was about to put in the freezer and had leaked out of the bag. Got my foot stuck under the cooker at the same time and thought I was trapped for ever. (pre mobile phone) got a sore back from lifting the cooker in a strange position given one foot was stuck under the cooker.

I can also offer standing up whilst cleaning the freezer and cracking ones head on the fridge door.

opening a stair gate and taking off a toe nail again.

sueelleker · 05/07/2019 19:46

I stubbed my toe on the blanket box on the landing while trying to avoid stepping on the cat. Split the end of my big toe like a (over) ripe tomato.

Watto1 · 05/07/2019 19:52

If you look very carefully, you can see a spiral scar on the palm of my right hand. Five years ago, I decided to check if the electric ring on the cooker was on. With my hand. Why I didn’t just look at the knob I don’t know

Tadpoletofrog · 05/07/2019 19:57

DP got a bit drunk one evening, and got a bad case of hiccups. He tried the technique of holding his breath for as long as he could, only he was standing up, and took it too far, and half feinted / stumbled, landed on the brand new tv that we only got the week before.
TV was ruined, as was the plaster on the wall behind which had a huge gauge where the corner of the tv had scrapped down.
He hurt his arm quite badly, and was off work for two weeks.

rosieposey · 05/07/2019 20:00

I fell out of the bath whilst shaving my legs ... ended up with this bruise on my shoulder s I hit the loo

Your most ridiculous household related injuries please...

minou123 · 05/07/2019 20:00

Broke my foot in half, dancing with the Hoover to ABBA

Knocked myself out when I head butted an open cupboard door......the door I left open

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 05/07/2019 20:02

Dh managed to set the microwave on fire, trying to heat up shoe polish. His brother, who used to be a Guardsman, had showed him that heating the polish helped get a really good shine on the shoes.

Soldiers heat the polish by putting a bit in the lid, and heating it with a lighter, as far as I know. Dh decided this was too low-tech, and put some in a saucer, in the microwave, and heated it on full. The first I knew of it was him hurtling past me to get the extinguisher out of the car, and yelling at me to ring the Fire Brigade.

By the time they arrived, he’d put out the fire in the microwave, so they just checked it was properly out, and had a stern word or two with him, and then left him cleaning dry foam out of the microwave - which he did well enough that the microwave still worked, and went on working for some years!

Summertimeatthebeach · 05/07/2019 20:08

Exh got up in the night for the loo and stood on a socket cover. Oh did I have to bite the duvet so I didn't laugh!!

Owlish · 05/07/2019 20:08

I posteda thread about this when it happened. I was giving the kitchen benches a food scrub and caught my right ring finger on a piece of loose trim that was at the back of the microwave. The accompanying picture will be on my next post for those of a squeamish nature.

MiMiMaguire · 05/07/2019 20:09

I had a lamp on the floor, leaned down to unplug it, had no bra on and i leaned down, yep, they leaned down too.. the right one right on the top of the red hot bulb poking out the top of the lamp shade. Sizzle.. and a very bad (talking puss & peeling etc), perfectly circular shaped burn right on my boob...

Owlish · 05/07/2019 20:12

Bloody finger

squeakyheart · 05/07/2019 20:18

Caught myself on the wrist with a heat gun whilst stripping wood. Amazing smell of roast chicken!

RiftGibbon · 05/07/2019 20:28

Walked into a blanket box in our bedroom on a regular basis (on and off for three years or so) resulting in a permanent bruise on my thigh.
Walked into the door frame and broke a toe.
Tried to pick up a hot baking tray I'd just taken out of the oven and burned my fingertips.
Squashed my finger between a table leg and the hoover. Managed not to break it.
Punched myself in the face making the bed.

BrilliantYou · 05/07/2019 20:31

My DH had been polishing the hallway/banister by spraying the furniture polish directly onto the spindles which ultimately landed on our hard wood floor basically turning it into an ice rink. I ran down the stairs into the hallway and fell flat on my arse. It's hurt so much I cried and ended up with a bruise on my arse the size and colour of a turnip!! He's not allowed to "polish" anymore!!

endofthelinefinally · 05/07/2019 20:35

Came in with 2 heavy bags of shopping and one toddler. Got as far as the kitchen, stepped on a previously unnoticed plastic sword. Slid across the kitchen at top speed, crashed into the dishwasher and broke 3 toes.

Cocolapew · 05/07/2019 20:36

I superglued a tin opener to my hand.
The washing line prop fell on my head and knocked me out. When I came round I staggered into the kitchen and put a bag of frozen peas on the bump. Then passed out again.
DH came home to find me lying on the kitchen floor surrounded by defrosted peas.

cricketmum84 · 05/07/2019 20:38

DH sliced into his leg trying to trim down a bath panel. The daft dickhead leant it on his thigh to give it more stability.

MrsMozartMkII · 05/07/2019 20:39

Cracked a rib by trying over my trainers in the dark bedroom. Annoyingly I'd looked at them earlier and thought "I should move those" but didn't.

Broke a leg tripping down a one inch step.

Gave myself concussion being excited to test drive an Audi TT. So wonky I bought a BMW Z3 at the same viewing.

Rufusthebewilderedreindeer · 05/07/2019 20:39

Not me but dh

He was walking down the stairs carrying a lamp

The lead and plug fell out of his hand on the 2nd to last step and the plug landed ‘sharp’ side as as he took his final step

The one prong of the plug embedded itself in his foot, one promg missed and the other scrapped away some skin

Unfortunately i found it very funny...and he had a job interview the next day which he had to wear trainers to and explain exactly why he was wearing trainers

thenightsky · 05/07/2019 20:40

Torn ligaments across both shoulders and into my neck zipping up my jeans.

Electrocute1980 · 05/07/2019 20:40

I got a really deep cut on my thumb from the edge of a toasted bagel!

cricketmum84 · 05/07/2019 20:41

Oh I have a huge scar on my foot where I took roast beef out of the over, slipped and all the roasting juices poured out all over the top of my foot. I had a blister then didn't heal for ages and now all scarred and horrible.

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