Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Flip

1 2 ··· 35 36 37 38 39 40

Original poster

DH smashed DS's phone

999 replies

thiscountryfan · 30/06/2019 20:12

So yesterday I walked in to the mother of all rows between DH and DS (14).

DS was screaming and raging at DH for stamping on his phone and more than likely fatally damaging it. According to DH, he had discovered DS had been stealing his beers (not for the 1st time), then lied about it, then smirked in DH's face when busted. DH just lost his shit at that point and grabbed the phone (possibly the only item that DS cares about).

DH has since apologised to DS and accepts
It wasn't his finest hour but point blank refuses to pay for replacement/repair - saying he is sick of DS's selfish rude attitude of late and that he needs to learn a lesson.

I'm torn. I certainly don't agree with what DH did (and he knows it) but quite frankly DS has been so utterly horrendous and perhaps needs to
Understand that parents are human too.

OP posts:

mummmy2017 · 05/07/2019 11:44

The was no violences.
It was destruction of property....

Owlchemist · 05/07/2019 11:44

Obviously it's going to seem controlling if you come from a family where you help yourselfves to anything in the house.

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 11:45

“Why shouldn't parents teach kids that you need to be respectful of other people's possessions?”

They should.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

14 year olds Families

cestlavielife · 05/07/2019 11:48

Destruction of property is violence.
That s why people get arrested for it.

DecomposingComposers · 05/07/2019 11:49

Those of you who allow your kids to help themselves to anything, without consideration, do you think your children might go to university or live in a house share? How do you think it will go down with their housemates when they just help themselves to whatever is in the kitchen?

My 2 are alwAys telling me about the massive rows they've witnessed because there's been a couple of students in every halls or house they've lived in who have no concept of ownership or respect for the property of others. They don't think twice about eating or drinking whatever takes their fancy. I can see why now.

mummmy2017 · 05/07/2019 11:49

No one has said domestic violence is wrong.
Just in this one case only this one case there are reasons why this happened.
Your so determined to widen the scope to everyone and everything you can look at just this one case.. as a stand alone case

Pumperthepumper · 05/07/2019 11:49

Why shouldn't parents teach kids that you need to be respectful of other people's possessions?

So disingenuous, I can’t even be bothered forming a response. Violence should never form any part of parenting.

DecomposingComposers · 05/07/2019 11:49

Destruction of property is violence.
That s why people get arrested for it

You can get arrested for stamping on your own phone?

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 11:52

“Obviously it's going to seem controlling if you come from a family where you help yourselfves to anything in the house.”
Owlchemist- do you genuinely think that my ds should have come and asked me before he made himself coffee and toast this morning? And if I was still asleep?

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 11:55

“How do you think it will go down with their housemates when they just help themselves to whatever is in the kitchen?“
It would rightly go down very badly indeed. Because it’s not their home!!!

Owlchemist · 05/07/2019 11:55

Owlchemist- do you genuinely think that my ds should have come and asked me before he made himself coffee and toast this morning? And if I was still asleep?

Bit different if you are asleep isn't it, but if you are awake a simple "can I make toast and have some of the coffee" seems fine to me, you don't actually expect to get a "no" and would likely never be told "no", but I think asking is polite.

Pumperthepumper · 05/07/2019 11:58

This is one of the saddest threads I have read on Mumsnet, the amount of women that accept and excuse violence is shocking. The idea that a 14 year old child is responsible for the actions of a grown man is ridiculous; what worries me is how many women don't seem to simply know that.

Totally agree with this too. The levels of violence people allow in their homes, and how they justify it, is really horrible. I’d love to know the rules too - if you can smash up your fourteen year old’s phone if he pisses you off, can you bash the head in of your seven year old’s doll if she gives you cheek? Can you crush your five year old’s trains for not eating their dinner?

DecomposingComposers · 05/07/2019 11:58

It would rightly go down very badly indeed. Because it’s not their home!!!

Judging by the people my 2 have shared with, this is a concept that some people fail to understand. They appear not to have been raised with respect for boundaries or personal property. That starts at home, doesn't it?

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 11:59

Fair enough. I personally don’t want my children to feel like visitors in their own house.

Pumperthepumper · 05/07/2019 11:59

Do your kids have to ask before they use toilet paper? You bought that too. It’s polite in other people’s houses to ask before using the toilet, do you also insist on that? Where’s your line drawn?

Owlchemist · 05/07/2019 12:00

it’s not their home!!!

So what in the home is fair play and what isn't? Can I go and help myself to paper from my dad's "office draw" because I need some paper to do my homework, or should I ask first? Is it just food and drink that is seen as ok not to ask?

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 12:00

“They appear not to have been raised with respect for boundaries or personal property. That starts at home, doesn't it?”

Yes.

Owlchemist · 05/07/2019 12:01

Fair enough. I personally don’t want my children to feel like visitors in their own house.

You're assuming that's how they feel.

BertrandRussell · 05/07/2019 12:05

“Can I go and help myself to paper from my dad's "office draw" because I need some paper to do my homework”
Well- unless it’s headed writing paper or some sort of specialist
posh paper, or unless you have a rule that they aren’t allowed into the office, then yes, surely? We have a printer in our sitting room- nobody has to ask permission to take some paper or print something. It is technically, I suppose, dp’s printer because he bought it and pays for the ink subscription, but he would think it very odd if I said to him “Can I use the printer?”

DecomposingComposers · 05/07/2019 12:09

Why are people taking it to the extreme?

Being considerate and not eating or drinking something that you know specifically belongs to someone else is hardly making you feel like a visitor in your own home not is it the same as asking to use the toilet in your own home.

mummmy2017 · 05/07/2019 12:11

So personal property .....printed headed paper is wrong to just use. .
So you do agree that there are cut-off points

sacope · 05/07/2019 12:11

The was no violences.
It was destruction of property....

Oh piss off. It was a violent act and you know it.

No one has said domestic violence is wrong.

Well you have just spent the best part of 2 days trying to suggest the father did nothing wrong and it was the sons fault!

Oh, here you go again...

Just in this one case only this one case there are reasons why this happened.

The reason the father did it was because he was a violent cunt who got away with it because of people like you.

Your so determined to widen the scope to everyone and everything you can look at just this one case.. as a stand alone case

It doesn't actually make a difference. What the father did is what he did. You have some nerve having a go at people for 'widening the scope' though, one of your previous examples was a 3 year old with mud on their arse. You have made up ridiculous scenarios in a desperate attempt to prove you are right. At least the discussions surrounding how these violent men start, and how they get away with it, how it progresses and how it affects the future of the child are true and reasonable.

Pumperthepumper · 05/07/2019 12:12

I’d love to know the rules too - if you can smash up your fourteen year old’s phone if he pisses you off, can you bash the head in of your seven year old’s doll if she gives you cheek? Can you crush your five year old’s trains for not eating their dinner?

Anyone fancy answering this?

mummmy2017 · 05/07/2019 12:12

DecomposingComposers because to be right they need go down to this level, just so they don't agree with us....

Flip

1 2 ··· 35 36 37 38 39 40

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.