DH smashed DS's phone

[thiscountryfan]

So yesterday I walked in to the mother of all rows between DH and DS (14).

DS was screaming and raging at DH for stamping on his phone and more than likely fatally damaging it. According to DH, he had discovered DS had been stealing his beers (not for the 1st time), then lied about it, then smirked in DH's face when busted. DH just lost his shit at that point and grabbed the phone (possibly the only item that DS cares about).

DH has since apologised to DS and accepts
It wasn't his finest hour but point blank refuses to pay for replacement/repair - saying he is sick of DS's selfish rude attitude of late and that he needs to learn a lesson.

I'm torn. I certainly don't agree with what DH did (and he knows it) but quite frankly DS has been so utterly horrendous and perhaps needs to
Understand that parents are human too.

whistles

😂😂

@mummmy2017

And that was my point...

Bye

Thank fuck

You have entered...

are you saying the son did nothing wrong....is innocent... Deserves not action taken against him?

Stealing deserves a just punishment. It would need to be something announced in advance after the previous episode, like grounding or something else equally measured.

Smirking? No.
And please remember it was the smirking that precipitated the violence. Not the stealing. Or the lying.

No behaviour warrants the violent destruction of the phone.

Why is it so important to absolve this boy of his part in the events.

Because that would excuse all violence against women, children and everyone else in the world, Mummmy, perpetrated by all the narcissistic, vicious, men whose egos can't handle life in the real world among real people. All violence by people who don't feel 'respected' enough. All the 'honour killings'. All the domestic violence and the murders by intimate partners...

You are presenting so many possible outcomes as absolute fact.

No I'm not, Decomposing.

I suspect you have a very different understanding of certain words in the English language from mine.

'likely to' is not the same as 'will'.

But back to the issue of stealing - if it's a beverage he was allowed before on a few occasions and it's sitting there in the fridge and he is a member of the family then is it really stealing...

I wouldn't really call it stealing, either. And I have my doubts about quite how 'bad' this boy's previous behaviour might have been.

Because that level of calculated violence doesn't come out of nowhere. It has its roots in the mindset of an inadequate man who can't cope with the fact that his children are growing up and therefore don't blindly obey and adore him. I wouldn't be surprised if many of the previous clashes in the house have been about this man trying to put the son 'in his place', about constantly-shifting rules depending on what sort of day the Lord and Master has had, etc. Yes, I know teenage boys can be stroppy and tiresome - I actually have one myself.
But if you think about another famous parent who destroyed her children's treasured belongings, and who bigged herself up as a 'proper' parent for doing so (and got a fan club of stupid, spiteful losers applauding her), even that wasn't the first public demonstration of her rather poor attitude towards her DC. She clearly sees them as props to her ego rather than people and it makes me wonder what else might go on in her house.

Theft, in law, a general term covering a variety of specific types of stealing, including the crimes of larceny, robbery, and burglary. Theft is defined as the physical removal of an object that is capable of being stolen without the consent of the owner and with the intention of depriving the owner of it permanently.

Can you please tell me the point at which taking something becomes not theft and what it is then called?

My ds just came out and made himself a cup of coffee and some toast. I bought all that stuff so it’s technically mine. Was he stealing?

I bought all that stuff so it’s technically mine.

Did he ask for permission?
Call 101 to log it.

My DS used extra phone data that he was not supposed to. Technically theft, I suppose. I usually take it from his weekly allowance, but maybe I should take him to the police station.

BertrandRussell had you told your child he could not have coffee..
Because the dad told him not to take the beer .
If your child took £20 out of your purse. Would you still be ok with that?

If you've told someone not to take something and then they do, yes I'd say that was stealing.

If a child takes money from your purse, without you knowing, would you call that stealing?

Or took your TV and sold it?

Or took your jewellery?

It's just because we are talking about beer that you're saying it isn't stealing. Surely,even people living in the same house are entitled to privacy and respect towards their possessions? If you specifically tell a family member that this belongs to me and I don't want you to touch it, take it, use it but they do anyway that isn't on is it? No matter what the object is.

My DS used extra phone data that he was not supposed to. Technically theft, I suppose. I usually take it from his weekly allowance, but maybe I should take him to the police station.

So you don't have a problem with him doing that without your permission? So when he uses £100 of extra data without asking will that still be ok? Or when he runs up a £2000 bill on in game purchases will that be ok?

Surely kids need to know not to cross the line?

He very much does, actually. Maybe because I don't go full banshee for the sake of 10 euros.

I'd actually be more concerned if my DS never had any small misdemeanours. He's very good overall.

Lweji as said above if he took £200 from your purse, what do you call it?

But he didn't and neither did the OP's son. Different instances and contexts.

Lweji

So it was 10 euros this time, but he clearly had no problem doing something that he knew that he shouldn't do. What's to say next time it won't be 50 euros or 100? Or in app purchases like we see reported in the news? Will you be so relaxed if faced with a 2000 euro bill?

Where is your line? When is it too far?

But at what point does taking something from another person when they have explicitly asked you not to stop being stealing?

I agree domestic violence is wrong.
That breaking things is wrong.
But in this case only in that room with the father and son... The context in this event only, this does not apply to any other event....the son right up until the dad dropped the phone was in the wrong.
After the dad dropped the phone the son was still wrong, and that caused the dad's temper and the phone to be broken.

and that caused the dad's temper and the phone to be broken.

Classic "you made me do it" line from a violent bully.

No
Dad chose to smash the phone
He didn't need to
He could have taken it away
He made a choice.