Did you change your surname after marriage?

[user1489792710]

The other thread in AIBU got me thinking about changing surnames after marriage.

I didn't change mine. DH would have liked me to and sometimes would ask in mock anger why I haven't. For professional reasons it made sense to stick to my maiden name as most of my qualifications and certification are in that name. So for work I use my maiden name. It's completely unpronounceable and would make sense to change to the easier married name. However I feel it's "my" name my identity and would really hate to change it.

I'm from an Asian country with predominantly Buddhist culture and married women do change their name to take on their husbands although it's not a must. It's 50/50 among my friends back home.

Just curious as to what the UK is doing?

I didn't.

Women in Italy (where I'm from) don't but I can't imagine doing it even if I was English.

I did. I like the idea of a 'family' name and I wasn't particularly attached to my surname. Whatever suits really. I have friends that have, friends that haven't, and a few who have double-barrelled.

I didn't for the first ten years. But then I had my children and lived abroad so was constantly travelling alone with them and getting stopped/needed letters from my husband. So it was easier to change my name to match everyone else. Also wanted to be a family by that point.

I did. I like the idea of a family name and wasn't remotely attached to the surname I inherited from my dad.

It made no difference to me whether I walked around with my father's surname or my husband's father's surname so we chose his.

I double barrelled. Although the only place it's recorded is my marriage certificate. I haven't changed my name with banks, work etc.

I did. I wanted a family name. I grew up with my father's surname - my father who I had no relationship with, and a different surname to my mum and other siblings.

I didn't. It always seemed a very strange idea to me, my surname feels as much a part of my identity as my first name.

I changed. It seems frowned upon in Mumsnet but I wanted to take his name. Years prior I had been given my step dads name, then eventually reverted back to my original name, but by the time I married I was more than happy to get a new name!

I have had this name longer than any other and would never change it, for any reason.

I did.

I knew we wanted children and wanted all of us to have the same surname.

No because I'm not ofJohn or a chattel. I saw no reason to take a man's name. My name is important too and I made sure my son took my name too.

I did. All the women in my family have, thinking about it.

I was quite pleased to get shot of my maiden name, it was a bit of a pain.

Also wanted to be a family by that point.

I haven't changed my name. It might be a surprise to my children and husband that we aren't a family because of it. It's funny, we've always felt like one.

I didn't. I live in Spain and married a local, so it wasn't necessary. Had we been living in the UK at the time, i wouldn't have changed it either. My surname is mispronounced and misspelled, whereas DH's is easier on both counts. Alas it's also a bit of a comedy name and I don't want it

Of my sister and 12 or so other women I know in the UK who have married, all of them have changed their surname. I'm mid-40s.

Oh, DS has both our surnames, the Spanish way, mine first

I didn't.

The kids have my surname rather than their dad's because we both found the assumption that they would have his surname sexist.

Name-changing didn't occur to either of us, to be honest. If anyone had changed a surname, it would probably have been him.

I didn't. It was my name and I didn't want to give it up. DH did ask about having a family name and I said he was more than welcome to take my name if he wanted.

I did. I love having the same name as DH and DD.

I don’t know anyone who didn’t change their name after getting married.

No I didn't. I'm not a chattel. There are some inconveniences, such as always being stopped at the airport and asked whether child is mine; but they are minor.

I didn't push, however, for my son to have my name and I don't get offended if people who don't know otherwise call me by my husband's name.

No, I didn't. It's my name and I just didn't want to change it.

After my first marriage I didn't change my name at all.

I'm now married to my second husband and we have a child together. I was well-established in my career before we married, so I kept my maiden name for work. My husband's child (from his first marriage) asked me to change my name so I'd have the same name as the family I was joining, so I agreed to change to my husband's surname for my personal life.

This compromise works pretty well for me, but I respect that women make different choices for different reasons. If a woman marries before being established in her career, for example, I can see why she might change her name at work as well as at home.

No I didn't. I'm not a chattel.

This kind of crap is unnecessary. I'm not one either. I changed my name. So what.

I grew up in a severely abusive household and am now NC with my family, so when I got married whilst still involved with them I was very happy to use that chance to take a different surname due to the fact I hated my birth surname and the memories associated with it. If anything, I believe I would eventually changed my surname regardless of marital status. However, I do dislike being called Mrs.

Nope. If DH had a nicer surname I might have changed it. But his name is really boring and I just didn’t fancy it. We agreed I’d double barrel but it was just too much faff. I tried it for about a week - got asked to spell it about 3 times and that was enough for me so I stopped using it.

No, kept my own. Mainly because I’m a feminist, but also because there were already two other doctors at my hospital with DH’s surname - I’d have been the third, and the switchboard struggled enough already!
Back in the dark ages when I married, HMRC didn’t recognise married women as separate people - they wrote to your DH about your income tax etc. I used to get angry and address my letters to the taxman’s wife in protest! Keeping my own name was a stand against the rampant sexism of that era.

I kept my maiden name professionally and in all my financial stuff, but took my DH's surname for 'home' things. I added my maiden name by deed poll so it's included in my passport.

I kept mine and DH changed his to mine. Our son has my surname.