Did you change your surname after marriage?

[user1489792710]

The other thread in AIBU got me thinking about changing surnames after marriage.

I didn't change mine. DH would have liked me to and sometimes would ask in mock anger why I haven't. For professional reasons it made sense to stick to my maiden name as most of my qualifications and certification are in that name. So for work I use my maiden name. It's completely unpronounceable and would make sense to change to the easier married name. However I feel it's "my" name my identity and would really hate to change it.

I'm from an Asian country with predominantly Buddhist culture and married women do change their name to take on their husbands although it's not a must. It's 50/50 among my friends back home.

Just curious as to what the UK is doing?

I didn't. It is not the done thing in my home country and I was also very attached to my name after 35 years

I did. My maiden name was Irish and not the easiest to pronounce. To be honest I was sick the the back teeth of spelling it all the time and spending ages teaching people how to say it only for them to butcher it anyway. I briefly considered double barreling but the two together was a nightmare. I also considered keeping it as a middle name but then I realised I would need to do that via deed pole and couldn’t be bothered 🤷‍♀️.

It’s been a 50/50 split amount my friends between those who have and hadn’t changed names. None of us have given what anyone else has done a second thought.

No. Never even considered it. DC is double-barrelled. Of my friendship group (now in our early 40s), only 2 women changed their names fully ie Mrs Hisname. 2 kept their own name, 2 hyphenated with partner's name, 2 use maiden name for work etc. I think it's increasingly common.

I'm another one who finds it odd that only men 'own' their names. Name changing on marriage is blatantly a sexist custom with sexist origins. Sure, we all sometimes make unfeminist decisions but we should recognise them as such!

I changed mine. Have gone back to (much nicer) maiden name post divorce. If I’d known how difficult it was to get ‘officialdom’ to accept my maiden name I’d never have changed it!

I did. My maiden name was pretty ugly but DH's surname as awesome! Had they been the other way round, I would have asked him to take mine.

I like having my family unit all sharing the same name but I don't care whose name it was first

Yes I did because I wanted us (me,dh,dc) to all have the same surname.

Dh would have happily taken mine but it was often misspelled and his was easy for other people to spell

My DHs surname is much more interesting than my very common maiden name.

This not being someone's chattel thing is bollocks, I chose to take on my married name, unlike my maiden name which was given to me before I was old enough to have any say in it as a sign of me belonging to my dad.

My maiden name has the origins of someone belonging to someone else (think Richard's son, William's son etc.)

My new name is too long to hyphenate with my old one.

It makes life so much easier, neither of us will find ourselves having to prove our child is ours at an airport etc.

Most people call me by a shortened version of my first name within 3 minutes of meeting me.

No I didnt.

Of course! Never crossed my mind not to.

No . I stuck to my own name because that's what it is. Our children have both of our names.
Why do people still use the outdated term 'maiden name ' ? It has connotations of virginity about it!

I'm getting married soon and will change my name, actually can't wait too, not for any particular reason, don't dislike my maiden name but can't wait to share a name with my fiancé.

I did, I wanted a family name, plus my DHs last name is nicer! My maiden name is one of those that people always say/spell wrong and I don't miss that at all!

I didn't and I have never regretted it.

My sister didn't either.

Lots of my contemporaries at school didn't.

However, the vast majority of married women I have met have changed their name upon marriage.

Nope

But I'd say 75-80% of married women I know did change.

No I didn't. Why on earth would I?

My DH kept his bachelor name when we got married. I supported his decision because all of his qualifications are in his bachelor name.

However, my name is much better and his is just something he inherited from his dad.

The kids have my surname but I think DH still feels part of our family. My parents still consider him as a son-in-law despite him not sharing their surname.

Interesting to read everyone’s thoughts. Am surprised that so many take their DH’s surname. We double barrelled DC’s surnames - it’s long, complicated to spell and is two different languages but we never considered anything other than combining both our surnames, nationalities and most importantly both our families history.

Yes, I wanted my chidren to have the same name as us both. DH would have swapped to mine though if I had wanted but his was nicer

I did. I always knew I would and couldn't wait to take my husband's name.

Nope I love my last name and I hate the default presumption you take your husbands name on marriage.

I equally hate the presumption that children must take their fathers names. My DD has my last name, although in all honesty that was a hard won battle.

I changed mine. I like the tradition of us all (myself, dh and dc) having the same name.

DSs double-barrelled surname is 7 syllables and in two languages Luckily they both go together nicely.

I didn’t. I do have a difficult last name, but frankly after thirty years telling people how to spell/pronounce it I was even less inclined to ditch it.

I took my husbands surname and was really proud and excited to do so...just my feelings.
My maiden name is very very unusual, and anyone with it turns out to be related...also comes with a stigma due to uncles being bikers back in the day who had fights constantly and a real 'hard men' reputation. I hated being tarred with that brush...it drove me mad!!

If me and husband divorced, I would however change my name name k to maiden name as soon as feasibly possible, as would not want to identify with his name is no longer together

I did, we have kids and I like that we all have the same surname although it’s taking some getting used to, we’re only recently married.