Friend wants her DH to come on all female holiday.

[Oldbutstillgotit]

A few months ago a good friend , Anne, invited me and 2 other friends Barbara and Carol on holiday (These are not real names but I thought it would be easier than ABC etc) .
The background is that Anne has had a terrible few years and has needed a lot of support which we have willingly given. Thankfully she is now much better so decided that she wanted to treat us . She insisted that she was paying for a villa in the sun for a week plus flights . Very generous and we all said it wasn’t necessary but Anne really wanted to do this.
Further information, to avoid drip feed, is that Anne, Barbara and I have known each other for other 30 years since our DC were in Primary School. Anne knows Carol through a couple of interests but Barbara and I have met Carol several times and she has always been pleasant and fun.
Anyway, the villa and flights were booked and everything was fine. Until yesterday. I switched on my phone to a flurry of messages on our WhatsApp group, starting with Carol asking if it is ok if her DH comes on holiday ! Anne replied saying “ very funny, of course not”.
There are then loads of exchanges which are basically Carol saying that she has never been away from her DH for a week , the thought is making her anxious , he would be “ no bother” etc etc . To everything Anne has said no but Carol kept pushing. She even said that if they had the bedroom with the ensuite we would hardly see him !
I contacted Anne to see if she was ok . She was quite upset .
Yesterday afternoon, Anne , Barbara and I met for a coffee to discuss . Both Barbara and I said the decision was Anne’s but neither of us was happy at the prospect of a DH being there as it would totally change the dynamic.
The 4 of us are meeting for lunch later . Anne says she will cancel if Carol persists .
Anyone any suggestions ?

I’m astounded by the update on the phone call!
There also a chance that Dick and Carol do not believe the accommodation has been changed and we’re hoping to ‘catch Ann out’. Remember, in their minds, Anne is robbing them of a free holiday in a most unreasonable manner. Psychopaths!

Absolute CFs the pair of them the cheek of some people! I hope the 3 of you have a lovely time away without intrusion from them!

Cancel her flight! And tell her it's because her husband is a bullying twat.

Sadly this is all too believable. My aunt had a holiday house for use within the family which we could let friends use and it triggered some odd entitled behaviour from people you would least expect..

If it's possible without too much extra expense I'd ask the villa contact if they would be kind enough to change the week and then change your (the 3 of your) flights but not carol's flight so they can search for you all they want because you won't be in the country when they land.

Time for Carol to be terminated

I think he called the villa owners to see if you had actually cancelled, they are still hoping for a free holiday!

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They really are the gift that keeps on giving

I think it could be cost prohibitive to change flights.
But i think a transfer using less a obvious name at the other end is not a bad idea. Use somebody's maiden or middle name.

De lurking to say this is absolutely insane. Anne needs to put her foot down now.

The lengths that they're willing to go are absurd. Best to write Carol off, sorry but no friend would out her through this much stress!

Also... Can someone link the Mexican house thread as I'm intrigued...

I'm stunned at these people.. who the fuck do they think they are OP.. good on you lady gals for standing your ground.

Or put her through this much stress either. Damn autocorrect

Please start a new thread when this one's full so we can keep up to date with their CFery, OP...

If owner friend has a website I wouldn't put it past C & D to research them and track them down. Ugh!

Is this for real or a plot for a soap opera?! I have been agog over the last few days reading this!

Ah that would make sense that Dick rang thinking Anne hadn't really cancelled the villa...

I suppose it is not possible to cancel and change dates? Do you lose all the money?

Assuming above not poss; Add my vote to the 100s saying cancel Carol's ticket

Surely at this point stop being nice and tell then straight that they aren't welcome and the friendship is over. And cancel her flight.

HappyNOTdriving yes that's what I meant - change booking dates completely and rebook without Carol. Or do you lose too much money doing this? I suppose the date is getting too near...

Was shitteeDicky's phone call illegal? Isn't it stalking? (someone else said....) Can you phone Police and say someone is trying to find out where you are staying on hol and you are scared?

I think it's time to cancel her flight.

A quick email to tell her due to Dick ringing the villa there will not be a free flight on offer as they have over shadowed the whole holiday and she doesn't trust that dick and carol won't pursue them further when they're away.

Urgh he is just disgusting. How can someone be so unashamedly cunty?

All joking aside OP, do you not think this has become a bit sinister? They clearly intend on coming to the villa - why? Why would anyone continue with this unless they had some sort of agenda?

I think Ann has tried to be too nice, if she's been through some difficult times then you can understand why, but i think now is the time to stop thinking of Dick as a comedic boorish character and start protecting yourselves from further hassle.

Advise Ann to cancel the flight - its the new "cancel the cheque".

BTW I assume one of you is going to have it out with Carol and ask what on earth Dick was doing ringing up and behaving like that?

Is there a website that could be found from the original villa op?

IMO they've not booked any accomodation and intended to turn up and expect that Ann will feel obliged to put them up