11YO DD has told us she's pansexual

[GarnishWithALemonTwist]

Not massively concerned about it, whether she is or she isn't, but just wondering if there's a book I can give her about being yourself, growing up, feelings and emotions, etc. She's be 12 in 3 weeks time.

"I think I'm turning into a Northern matriarch like my Nan. I just feel like hoiking my bosom, glaring, and saying "don't be so fooking daft" at all this shite.
Parents validating it all (and by "it" I mean the online grooming of children to beleive they have to label their sexuality before theye have passed through puberty ) make children believe it's all real. When it's a load of sinister shite."
Children are getting "advice" from the kind of people my Nan would have chased off with a broom

This is exactly how I feel- there seems to be no 'Don't worry about it for now' advice

Everything is reactive instead of slow steady sensible loving longevity.

#hurrayforbroombrandishingnanas

Most people believe in gender identity

If one of the apparently many people who believe in this could tell me what it is, how it manifests, and in what way I should expect it to match my biological sex, that'd be great.

Seriously, if you "know" that you're a woman via an experience/ mechanism that doesn't make reference to your biology or "gender expression" (appearance norms and behavioural stereotypes) then please share what that means. I have no idea what that means.

Also, to those saying you don't need to deny biology to believe in gender identity, do you realise that the NHS is currently recording and storing donated blood according to gender identity rather than sex, even though some people could die if they receive blood from someone of the opposite sex?

I'm also #TeamNan on this.

PantsyMcPantsface sums up my thoughts:
"The message I aim to give my daughters though is not the "it's OK to fancy whoever you fancy" one - but the "it's also OK to NOT fancy whoever you don't fancy" one which seems to be becoming dangerously lost to girls these days.

Also a very large side order of "these gendered boxes society's gone barmy over are utterly fucking bollocks - just be you" "

However as I have a son I will also be throwing in large doses of "explicit consent, explicit consent, explicit consent" too.

And social media platforms are banning people for so much as posting links to research papers pointing this out. If you think this is a benign movement and that people with concerns about it are just "anti trans", you need to open your eyes.

#TeamNana# #BringBackTheBroom#

It's fine, at least she won't want to take hormones. She may refine her taste later. Just be open to discussion. Yogadrone is right, just wait and see.

it's also OK to NOT fancy whoever you don't fancy" one which seems to be becoming dangerously lost to girls these days

YES YES YES YES YES

This “poly” crap is fucking hilarious.
In ye olden days people just got on with shagging lots of people without feeling the need to give themselves tedious self regarding labels for it.
I can’t help but think it’s a case of an awful
lot of talk and not a lot of action ... if they whey faced blue haired brigade actually had some sex, perhaps they’d STFU and stop boring the rest of us.

*I can’t help but think it’s a case of an awful
lot of talk and not a lot of action *

Yes- I agree with this but in that it's a 'safe' way of young people exploring ideas about themselves - so maybe that's a good thing about it?

Who is dying because of gendered blood? I thought it was blood groups that mattered

www.telegraph.co.uk/science/2017/10/17/blood-transfusions-women-have-pregnant-may-lethal-men-study/

That was just one study and the results were tenuous. This is why medical practices have not been changed to fit them. The study did not establish a direct cause and effect relationship either.

In fact, if you wanted to abide by the results of one study without further studies (which there of course should be. Further study is always positive), you'd do better to simply ask your donor if they'd ever been pregnant rather than bother with sex assigned at birth.

www.scientificamerican.com/article/blood-boundaries-should-transfusions-be-matched-by-sex/

Scientific American has a great article :) But that article still states clearly that the results are not conclusive, there's no direct cause and effect relationship, observational studies are difficut to get conclusive results from AND there are several conflicting studies. Does it need to be studied further? Absolutely! Do the general public need to get stressed about it? Not yet no.

Women can get pregnant and miscarry without ever knowing they were pregnant, so asking the question ‘have you ever been pregnant’ on a form isn’t going to work.

Jesus Christ. My kid is an oncology/haematology patient, she’s 7 and has had shit loads of strangers blood. We’re very grateful to the donors but the information recorded has to be accurate!

Sure, but at present recording gender isn't a necessity in blood. And won't be, until the research presents something more conclusive.

Wishing the best to your daughter.

So the choices are "err on the side of caution and record by sex until further research is available to confirm whether cross sex transfusions are a medical risk" vs "potentially expose people to harm in order to validate someone's chosen identity"? Can there be a special group of donations put aside for those who would rather medical research acknowledged material reality and don't want to take part in a live experiment driven by someone else's belief system?

Mainstream artists like Miley Cyrus who had the most watched pop video ever a few years back came out as 'pansexual' and 'gender-fluid'. I don't think you have to look in the more obscure areas or follow specific trans-activists of the internet to find out about this stuff

I just googled pan sexual celebrities. The top hit was a Cosmo article entitled 14 pan sexual celebs.

The 4th one is JJ. Theres the connection to looking further into the trans stuff.

OK, sorry, this is derailing OPs thread and has nothing to do with being pan. Will bugger off back to FWR to carry on stressing about the failure of current medical science to believe in the relevance of medical science.

Wishing the best to your daughter

One of her hospital mates has had a blood transfusion every three weeks since she was born. She’s 8.

Erring on the side of caution is the very least we should be doing.

Chromosomal/gonadal sex is the important thing to record. Gender identity is neither here nor there.

I have a haematologist in the family so this isn't an unfamiliar topic. Medical science really just needs to have conclusive evidence before making sweeping changes. Even if the evidence found in the new dutch study turns out to be accurate with further studies - the difference in risk is really not that large anyway. What we should be doing is letting the medical research community get on with conducting proper and thorough research, and then drawing educated conclusions from that. Which is what they are doing right now.

I've met a lot of kids with regular transfusions, they're all absolute bloody troopers. I have a hell of a lot of respect for those fighters.

All the people saying chill out and accusing gender critical feminists of Pearl clutching need to wake the fuck up.

It starts with a kid saying they are bi or pan. Then they fall a bit deeper down the rabbit hole and read that if you are gender non conforming in any way ( tomboy, feminine boy, feel you don't fit in) then you could be trans. Then tumblr will say that that if you even think that you could possibly be trans, congrats as you 100% ARE trans. Not only are you trans but if you don't transition super quickly then you will try to kill yourself.... like 50% of the other trans kids do (lies).

Schools can now report parents for not allowing/supporting their kids transition and allow kids to 100% transition within school including name changes etc WITHOUT INFORMING PARENTS. At least one family had their child taken off them and put into foster care. You are not allowed to question your child's motives or beliefs as to why they may feel trans, as that's conversion therapy.

I have been through all of this why my ASD son between ages 14-17 and it was heartbreaking but with support, questioning, counselling etc he is now a very happy secure gay man of 20. If I had followed the guidelines of Mermaids he would have been on hormone blockers and HRT and had surgery by now.

This society is failing children. Teenage years are MEANT for experimenting with identity and presentation etc. Not for allowing our kids to be neutered and have their healthy genitalia sliced into to create a play doh creation that barely functions and not only looks wrong but will likely need multiple surgery's to maintain. Not to mention the horrific side effects of cross sex hormones. Why would ANYBODY actively want that for their children?

One of my DD’s friends said she’s pansexual - DD’s first reaction was “does that mean your sexually attracted to kitchen utensils?” her second was “we’re 12 dude, we’re ‘not-anything-sexual’ ”.