11YO DD has told us she's pansexual

[GarnishWithALemonTwist]

Not massively concerned about it, whether she is or she isn't, but just wondering if there's a book I can give her about being yourself, growing up, feelings and emotions, etc. She's be 12 in 3 weeks time.

I knew I was bisexual when I was 12. By about 10 I'd had thoughts about wanting to hold hands with/kiss female friends but I didn't have a name for it. A lot of people in my primary school had (straight) boyfriends/girlfriends from about year 5, and I remember a crowd gathering to watch the most popular 'couple' kiss in year 6. That was 20+ years ago. I'm sure most straight people remember innocent childhood crushes, even if they didn't label themselves as 'straight' or 'heterosexual' at the time.

Someone explained pansexuality as being attracted to men and women in the same way, whereas a bisexual person may experience attraction differently depending on their partner's sex/gender. I don't think there are fixed definitions of the differences between pansexual and bisexual, but I don't think it's anything to worry about.

Good question. There's a thread on the feminism topic about the link between PoMo queer theory and Paedophilia. Not as outrageous as it sounds - Philosopher Foucalt was the godfather of postmodernism and also a strong advocate for 'consensual' paedophilia. This has now filtered down as far as the NSPCC whereby they define child sexual abuse not by the legal definition but by how much distress it causes the child

So yes, something is definitely going on.

I would like to point out that whilst bisexuality may be a 'stage' for some, some people actually go back in the closet and therefore are still bi, just not open about it. Bisexuality is unfortunately often discriminated against even within the LGBT+ community, leading to high rates of closeting, and worse mental health outcomes. Bi men are half as likely to come out as gay men are, due to the biphobia. When bi people are in a relationship with someone of the same sex, they are often reinterpreted as gay, and when they are in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex, people assume they were just having a 'phase'. Given some gay people believe that bi people are sex-mad and can't be trusted, or that bi people will always go for the opposite 'safer; sex in the end, as well as some gay people using it as a safer 'testing the water' transition to coming out as actually gay, you can see why many people bisexual status remains invisible, either on purpose, or through other's interpretations.

LGBT+ people will often go in and out of the closet at different points of their lives, depending on how comfortable they feel, at a new job etc. In other words, just because those girls who came out as bi are now not mentioning same-sex relationships, doesn't mean all of them were in a phase.

Pollaidh I think you raise a good point about bisexuality. Unfortunately it seems to be reject by both straight and gay communities so I can see why many people would try and hide their bisexuality. It must be a difficult position to be in, yet probably there are more bisexual people than many realise, unable to be truly themselves.

Whenever I bear "pan sexual", I think of those people who shag cars, bridges and bookcases.

Pavements. There was a man in the newspapers ages ago who had a thing for pavements. Certainly put that Adele song into a different light for me...

Must make it difficult to get anywhere.

I thought people gobbing on the pavement was nasty!

Eww.

firstimpresions sorry are you comparing transgender people to widow twanky?

Right