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Original poster

Advice Clinic - Slatterns welcome

999 replies

pineapplebryanbrown · 10/06/2019 00:41

Do you have problems? Is your life truly ridiculous, are you ridiculous? Please step inside our fully staffed advice clinic and we will cure all your ills. We have a clap nurse standing by for more intimate problems, don't be shy.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
Frownette · 16/06/2019 10:17

DT are you the virgin Mary, doing visitations?

Lemme know where and when and I'll turn up with my candle

CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 10:25

Ah, Lido Beano City, then!

TTT nostalgia

Dangly you would make a lovely saint. Are you now, or have you ever been, a Virgin?

CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 10:27

We could sell holy water from one of the moats.

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 16/06/2019 10:27

My granny (the less slutty one) used to read the Peoples Friend. The whorish one read the Racing Post.

OP posts:
nakedscientist · 16/06/2019 10:38

I think there's a lot of little Englanders on AIBU, they have this kind of ' oh they say we have global warming, but look it's been raining all week......ooooh look at her, she's really let herself go, shame....they call them selves experts but is all a load of rubbish......that Theresa May was only doing her best and with Nigel you know where he stands.....well y.know my neighbour's' s one of them, but I wouldn't trust them in general....I never answer my door past 6:30, and I'm not taking in her. parcels.....ooooh noooooo they can't use my loo should have gone the day before, cheeky fuckers"

nakedscientist · 16/06/2019 10:43

Dangly we must start canonisation procedures at once!!!!!!!!

Original poster
pineapplebryanbrown · 16/06/2019 10:45

You're so sexy when you're steamed up Naked. I love it that we have the science honeyz on our side when we do an assault on aibu.

OP posts:
CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 10:47

Naked this is why we're all going to live in a castle. With a drawbridge and a moat full of holy water. Dangly is going to appear in a shimmer of sanctity every so often - when it's not her day at the Gentleman's Club, that is!

CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 10:49

I prayed to Dangly when I lost my car keys and I found them later.

TopiaryTractorTart · 16/06/2019 10:51

I was thinking that maybe we could have a chef? It's all good having the supermarket but I'm not a great cook and if we're creating some kind of utopia then I think nice food would be of benefit.
I would like a woman to be the chef just because it seems they are normally called a cook and men get the more prestigious chef label.

DanglyTassles · 16/06/2019 10:54

Thisters I am touched!! (in more ways than one)

I will be your novelty saint of course but there's something you should know, I am not a virgin and never have been, I sprung forth from the womb of my dear mother (not an evil bitch) as a rancid whore riddled with pox.

I'm afraid i brought it in from a past life. Anyway I can only do my best if you'll still have me?

CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 11:00

Dangly your past lives are the reason for our faith in you.

Would you like to be known as Saint Dangly or Blessed Dangly ?

Do you have any pronouns?

CarolinePooter · 16/06/2019 11:01

Yes to the chef! Cook, I mean.

Frownette · 16/06/2019 11:09

Dang Dangly, I looked it up and the market is already cornered in STDs by one Saint Fiacre. Apparently he's into gardening as well, versatile.

I'll be the chef, I'll feed you all broccoli

TopiaryTractorTart · 16/06/2019 11:12

Maybe it was DT who brought my cat back and got rid of the ants!

We are truly blessed to have one of those miracle performing saints on the team.

DanglyTassles · 16/06/2019 11:21

Well maybe all of the Saints have the clap? They may not be as honest as me and Saint Wotsit you said Frown.?

Me and him are the true Saints with honesty as our virtue!

nakedscientist · 16/06/2019 11:30

DT we need to build your Saintly portfolio, Saint of virtue, honesty, whoring, pox, clap, snax.

What do you think?

nakedscientist · 16/06/2019 11:37

Oh for fucksake, the fat thread!!!!!!!! Sanctimonious fuckwits!!

Gonna go and eat something.

nakedscientist · 16/06/2019 11:38

Oh and thigh love you too!

Frownette · 16/06/2019 11:49

This thread is turning all...romantic.

So there's the love story of the fish and the cat, and the love story of the scientist and the thigh.

DanglyTassles · 16/06/2019 12:03

naked I shall set to work on a notable profile
.
There shall be subcategories within the categories, such as 'Herpes' 'Monster unch' etc

DanglyTassles · 16/06/2019 12:11

Yes naked there are some professional misunderstanders on there who don't have any appreciation or empathy for another's world view and it gets on my tits.

Good job I'm a Saint now or I'd be waving my machete at them!

Frownette · 16/06/2019 12:17

Saint of machetes? Don't think that one's been taken.

Now how do we go about canonization? Can't say this is in my repertoire

Frownette · 16/06/2019 12:20

Oh dear just googled, Dangly has to be dead. Didn't foresee that one.

We could get her to lie still for 10 minutes whilst the officiary is around.

TopiaryTractorTart · 16/06/2019 12:29

She has been dead before. It's fine.

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