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Original poster

What's the worst way you've woken up

133 replies

Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 10:38

DP and me spent pretty much all of yesterday exercising so am feeling very lazy this morning. DP went back out at 7 to do more exercise mad and brought me a coffee and nextdoors cat (she basically lives in our house as she doesn't like their dogs and is generally quite sweet although she sometimes shits where she ought not to

So me a DNNCat we're snuggled up and snoozing when she leaps up, making no attempt to move, and starts making a noise like a motorboat starting up and arching her back grumpily.

Anyway there's now vomit everywhere but at least I'm awake. Actually I nearly sicked up on the cat sick because other people's/species vomit makes me retch.

GOOD MORNING!

OP posts:
Elledouble · 02/06/2019 11:20

The millions of fire alarms in halls at university were pretty bad.

But the worst has to be my partner waking me up shouting “what the fuck is that?!”, turning over and realising that not only had our son got into bed with us at some point in the night, but he’d had an enormous nosebleed and the three of us and both beds were covered in blood.

RitmoRatmo · 02/06/2019 11:22

On hol as a teenager, woke up in middle of night to a scrabbling noise on my pillow. Put lamp on to find I was eyeball-to-eyeball with a lizard 🦎!
Ran out of my room into my parents room to discover them having sex.

Literally. The. Most. Embarrassing. Moment. Of. My. Life.

U2HasTheEdge · 02/06/2019 11:23

DH waking me up saying an ambulance was on its way because he is having a heart attack.

It was pancreatitis.

I have been woken up through the years in many horrible ways by pets and children.

Landfilly · 02/06/2019 11:24

3am. Cat brought live blackbird to my bedside and let it go

Fuck knows how he got it through the cat flap it was enormous

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 11:25

RitmoRatmo sort of reminds me of the time I was having some "personal time" when I still lived with my parents and turned over to see a huge harvest spider on the pillow next to me. Managed not to run out screaming though!

OP posts:
Landfilly · 02/06/2019 11:26

Flowers Maiden. So sorry. x

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 11:26

3am. Cat brought live blackbird to my bedside and let it go

Bastard. And birds shit everywhere when they're scared too.

OP posts:
AngeloMysterioso · 02/06/2019 11:29

In my student days, woke up the morning after a very heavy night out, I could smell vomit... went into my bathroom to see if I’d been sick and not flushed but nope, bathroom sparkling clean... so I go to the loo and notice whilst I’m there that I have dried vomit on my arm and the side of my face... went to go back to bed, there’s vomit over half my pillow and my duvet, apparently I’d been sick in my sleep and rolled away from it...

HappyEverIftar · 02/06/2019 11:30

Mosquito flying around our bedroom. I'm asleep, DH is monitoring it, I'm still asleep. Said mosquito lands on my forehead, DH considers his options. Keep it buzzing biting us or hope it flies off? I suffer a lot from mosquito bites and itch for days. DH decides to get it while it's still. Whacks me on the forehead. Dead mosquito but dazed (incandescant wife). He was laughing, I was not. I do laugh now I hate mosquitos Grin

travellinglighter · 02/06/2019 11:36

Woke after being poked by a robot armed with a shotgun. No I wasn’t in a terminator movie I was in the army, on exercise and co-located with a bomb disposal team. I’d been on duty all night, I’d been sent to bed to catch up on missed sleep.

Bomb squad were showing off their kit and let a friend of mine play with a tracked robot. The robot had a type of shotgun that destroyed firing mechanisms (I think). He decided it would be funny to send it into the barrack block film me sleeping and then poke me with the shotgun. It’s bloody scary waking up, your eyes coming into focus and finding your self staring down the barrel of a shotgun.

travellinglighter · 02/06/2019 11:41

Actually when I first went out with the ex wife, I was on call and she was going out for a drink with colleagues and said I could stay in her flat until she got home. She came home plastered, jumped into bed and fell straight to sleep. About an hour later she sat straight up turned towards me, leaned over, puked on me, rolled over and went back to sleep. I got up, without spilling a drop, cleaned myself up, showered and went back to bed. She didn’t remember doing it next day and I doubt she believed me.

Conflicted2019 · 02/06/2019 11:43

DH has placed a heavy box on top of the 6ft shelves near his bed. In the night he rolled over and hit the shelves. The first thing I knew was the box falling on my head. It split my lip open and gave me a black eye.

The weird thing was I was dreaming that I was running away from something and just as the box hit, I was hit by a car in my dream. 😬

Mac47 · 02/06/2019 11:45

The phone call at 3 am from the hospital to say my mum didn't have long and I needed to get there quickly.

FairfaxAikman · 02/06/2019 11:45

Staying at my parents in a single bed with my Labrador sleeping at my feet. My parents dog, the brother to mine, decided to join us. He jumped up and basically teabagged me as there was no place for him to put his hind legs apart from either side of my head.

SinkGirl · 02/06/2019 11:45

When our cats were kittens, one of them kept peeing on the bed to force us to get up and feed her. We put a litter tray next to the bed for a few days so that we could put her in it if she looked like she was about to pee.

One night I woke up at 3am to the most awful sounds, then the worst smell imaginable. She had bad diarrhoea, fortunately in the litter tray.

She and the tray stayed out of the bedroom after that.

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 11:50

She had bad diarrhoea

I worked in a vets for a bit - will never forget how offensive cat runs is!!

OP posts:
feathermucker · 02/06/2019 11:52

Sorry to those who have had heartbreaking times 💐💐

quaverflavour · 02/06/2019 11:59

When I was doing my A Levels I’d made a mistake on my timetable and put one of the exams as afternoon when it was a morning. Got a phone call from my mum about 9am as I was in a deep sleep as school had phoned asking where I was. It was awful, jolted awake, freaking out about it, still not really with it due to waking up so suddenly, plus in hindsight I had sunstroke or something as I’d been out in the sun all day the day before - also had a huge, painful burn down my left leg and was feverish. Absolutely awful. My dad came and took me to school and there were two year 11 girls in the same boat and we were all shaking and crying! Seems ridiculous now but at the time i think we were worried we wouldn’t be allowed to take them!
We got let into the hall when another exam was finishing (few happening at once) and I found out later that because of my limp from the sunburn, loads of people assumed I’d been in an accident and that’s why I was late! Absolutely hideous
Oh and with 20 minutes to go I realised it was a 2 question paper, not 1...
I got a C and I’ve got no idea how.

TreacherousPissFlap · 02/06/2019 12:01

We were camping with DS who was about 5 at the time.
This particular morning DS's normally cast iron bowels were inexplicably on the warpath. We woke to the most unbelievably hideous smell and a little voice saying "uh-oh"
The fallout was fortunately/unfortunately trapped in his sleeping bag. DH and I tossed a coin to decide who got to deal with DS and who got to deal with the sleeping bag Envy

jackparlabane · 02/06/2019 12:11

Home, sleeping in my ex-lodger's room while mine was being decorated. Enormous explosion.
I sit up to find what looks like blood everywhere, coming out my hair, and shards of broken glass all over the duvet.

Eventually deduced I wasn't bleeding, and it was a bottle of home-made blackcurrant cordial which had exploded. Thankfully some books and my duvet had taken the brunt of it.

I shoved the duvet over the other bottles, grabbed another one and went back to sleep.

So apart from the effect on my hear rate, better than the 'mummy, I think I'm going to be...' over my king-size bed...

theluckiest · 02/06/2019 12:15

By a car exploding.

Bloke on our road 'collected' cars...old, broken down bangers mainly from EBay. He was a nice bloke but the cars really were shit.

He must've had about 5 parked up in our cul-de-sac at this point. DDog woke us up at 3am growling as he could hear voices outside. Couldn't see anything so we went back to sleep.

Within seconds there was an almighty BANG and the room was as bright as day. Someone had clearly taken umbrage at all of these cars & set fire to one. Luckily, the fire station is on the next road so they arrived within minutes.

Bloke moved the rest of the crappy cars pretty sharpish...

SmarmyMrMime · 02/06/2019 12:25

Sleeping on the floor following a party to realise that an incontinent small dog was trying to hump my head.

Waking up the morning after a party to find an uninvited hand busy in my underwear. I kicked him in the face when I processed what he was doing.

fuckweasel · 02/06/2019 12:29

By the police at 2am asking me if I would mind identifying a body they believed to be my neighbour who had been in a motorbike accident. Thankfully they got hold of a relative shortly afterwards.

Original poster
Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 13:13

The fallout was fortunately/unfortunately trapped in his sleeping bag

The horror.
I hope you burnt it!

OP posts:
IrishGal21 · 02/06/2019 13:26

In a homestay hostel abroad and got woken up at 4am by the horrendous cries of a woman being beaten in the next room...very scary. Some others woke up and we were whispering about what to do. We waited, heard some voices then a car driving away. the next morning the owner explained they were friends who had been arguing...and they sent them away.....