What's the worst way you've woken up

[Thisnamechanger]

DP and me spent pretty much all of yesterday exercising so am feeling very lazy this morning. DP went back out at 7 to do more exercise mad and brought me a coffee and nextdoors cat (she basically lives in our house as she doesn't like their dogs and is generally quite sweet although she sometimes shits where she ought not to

So me a DNNCat we're snuggled up and snoozing when she leaps up, making no attempt to move, and starts making a noise like a motorboat starting up and arching her back grumpily.

Anyway there's now vomit everywhere but at least I'm awake. Actually I nearly sicked up on the cat sick because other people's/species vomit makes me retch.

GOOD MORNING!

...reminds me a another time at uni when we lived next toa pub. They had a lock in and we got woken by a fight outside, peaked out the windows and saw a guy getting his head kicked in....next day we were told he had a double skull fracture...some things you never forget

I cackled like a hyena at Alison Moyet saying she'd got extremely drunk with a friend who was not tidy, passed out after the night out on her bedroom floor and woke up to a used sanitary pad stuck to her cheek in confusion

Drunkenly woke up and remembered I'd lost my bag.
It had 1.5k in it!!!
I was due to go and put down rent deposit on house for myself and my new boyfriend. We were so excited about moving in together we went for a celebratory drink and it all got out of hand....

I know someone who was woken up by armed police going through his housemate’s bedroom door. He slept on the first floor and this other chap slept on the second floor in the room directly above.

A full squad of armed police had got into the house (the landlord gave them the key, because my friend and another housemate had reported the other chap for drug dealing, and the the landlord had agreed to give them access for a raid), and all the way up two flights of stairs, without waking anyone else in the house - they must have levitated up, like Daleks. The first thing any of them knew about it was the crash as they knocked down the man’s door, and the scream he let out! My friend went out of his room to find armed police everywhere!

Turns out not only was the housemate dealing drugs, he had also stabbed someone to death, with the knife from my friend’s set of IKEA knives!

My worst awakening was the dog getting onto the bed, snuggling up with her head on my shoulder, and throwing up onto my shoulder and nearly into my ear.

I got woken up once at about 3am by our neighbours car spontaneously exploding outside our window (shared car park outside block of flats).

I was terrified as it was the night after the Manchester bombings and I live in London so I thought we were under attack (pretty irrational I know!!).

Turns out the car was one of many faulty cars that also spontaneously burst in to flames.

I once had a full pint of water on my bedside table, which I managed to knock over and spill the entire thing over my own face when I was fast asleep! That was a surprising awakening!

Or the time when DH and I were asleep in bed, I got woken by a strange noise from DD bedroom, jumped out of bed and ran in to be met with a very surprised looking pair of brown eyes peeking out from the top of the duvet which was pulled up under her chin, and projectile vomit over, I swear, the ENTIRE bedroom, nothing escaped. I will never forget the look of utter shock in DD's eyes though

Waking up with vertigo. Unable to move a muscle or open eyes, soaked in sweat, throwing up while feeling I was whirling in fast circles.
It lasted hours and I thought I was dying.

Actually I just remembered I've been texting in bed before, laying on my back, have fallen asleep and promptly dropped my phone straight into my face. Ow!

Waking up at a hotel in the middle of the night by somehow remembering I had to pay the Dart charge, then spotting an enormous, hairy-legged spider on my pillow.

To a bushfire.. in Australia.

We had to evacuate. It was bloody scary.

Have two.

Police in the house, to arrest my housemate. I didn’t wake up until they were in my bedroom saying “police” and at first while half asleep freaked out that it could be burglars/rapists pretending to be police. They just told me they were arresting him, then left.

And phone call with news of a shocking death.

Dh came down with d&v, shortly followed by then 9 month old dd coming down with d&v, very shortly followed (actually mid way through cleaning up dd) by me having d&v. After several hours of cyclical vomiting and squitting by all 3 of us we'd just managed to get off to sleep when I'm woken by then 6 year old ds standing by the bed "mummy I feel sick", followed immediately by a shower of regurgitated dinner. Also, the time ds, then around 2, woke me up having crept into the bedroom v early saying "mummy, can I have these scissors? They're not shark (sharp)". Cue a very disoriented and half asleep me jumping out of bed panicking that ds is about to injure himself only to find him clutching a pair of eyelash curlers.

To my co-sleeping breastfed baby clenching her teeth around my nipple as she must have latched on and then dozed off again. Ouch!

My DS4 sleeps next to me. He was sick on my head a while back.

I do not want to be woken up like that again.

DH was all 'that's grim' and I was like 'erm it was MY head'

Having a nightmare about a train running over my neck then waking up and sitting up a bit, only to feel and hear a trickling sound in my lungs. I had fluid overload after a blood transfusion and that horrible sensation that was causing the nightmare was me pretty much drowning in my own fluids.

As a child I was national level of a sport which involved early morning training. I used to really struggle to get up.

One morning my dad passed me my cup of tea whilst I was still laying down. I woke with a burning sensation as I fell back to sleep and poured the cuppa down my chest. I've never jumped out of bed as quick as I did on that occasion. It got me up and I had a bright red scald mark for weeks!

Clock radio goes off with a person screaming on the radio station - awful!

My DH only dreams very occasionally and it’s usually accompanied by a bit of sleep talking and shuffling about. He once woke me up by grabbing me round the shoulders, hauling me upright and roaring into my face that I had to “GET THE BABY GET THE BABY AND FUCKING RUN OH MY GOD THEY'RE COMING RUN RUN” as a 3mo DS started wailing at the commotion. DH is 6ft 2 and really strong. I don’t think my heart calmed down for about 3 days!! He apparently had been dreaming that the house had been overrun with terrorists, Christ knows what he’d been watching. I cried out of pure shock it was horrible

Woke to screaming 'cos my lodger woke up to see a spider on the ceiling. My lodger was male and 6'3 and wouldn't go back in the bedroom until I caught little monster it was quite a big one really and released it outside - on the opposite side of the house.

To blood curdling screams from then 9yr old DS at 5am.

Took a few minutes to establish that a wasp had got into his bed and stung him a few times. No time like the early hours to be waiting with an epi-pen to find out if wasps are another allergy. I couldn't turn the lights off or go back to sleep as I was watching for hives. Nothing happened thank goodness. DD also woke up.

That was a long day.

When a strange character all dressed in black was standing next to my bed silently.

On more than one occasion I’ve been woken up at 3am by my pint of water being knocked all over me by.... you guessed it.
These days I take a water bottle to bed.

Actually, a three year old in a Spider-Man costume complete with creepy mask, about three inches from my face was pretty terrifying.

Woke up after being unconscious for 3 days. Went into hospital with what they thought was bad food poisoning. Unfortunately, I had developed a hernia wrapped around a section of my bowel which died. I had sepsis as well to boot.

I remember going into the A&E department but blacked out after that. I only found at large what had happened as somehow during my blackout I had updated Facebook.