Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

What's the worst way you've woken up

133 replies

Thisnamechanger · 02/06/2019 10:38

DP and me spent pretty much all of yesterday exercising so am feeling very lazy this morning. DP went back out at 7 to do more exercise mad and brought me a coffee and nextdoors cat (she basically lives in our house as she doesn't like their dogs and is generally quite sweet although she sometimes shits where she ought not to

So me a DNNCat we're snuggled up and snoozing when she leaps up, making no attempt to move, and starts making a noise like a motorboat starting up and arching her back grumpily.

Anyway there's now vomit everywhere but at least I'm awake. Actually I nearly sicked up on the cat sick because other people's/species vomit makes me retch.

GOOD MORNING!

OP posts:
Patroclus · 03/06/2019 15:57

Oh my lord I dont know if its just my cat, but theres something about their sick which is just 1000x worse than other species.

drsausage · 03/06/2019 16:01

Probably the time I was woken up by a bear outside our tent.

You know how they say if you shout and make a lot of noise at a black bear it'll run away?

That's not true.

Rarfy · 03/06/2019 16:57

Woke up at 33 wks pregnant bleeding. Had placenta previa which I knew about but had been hoping for the best. 4th pregnancy after a first trimester mmc, stillbirth and second trimester mmc. I truly thought that was it and spent the next four weeks hospitalised thinking the same. 5month old dd is sleeping next to me now. Pure perfection.

Didn't help when I got to hospital at 3am with a midwife saying there's the arm, oh theres the leg. Ffs just tell me she is alive already!!

GhostIsAGoodBoi · 03/06/2019 16:58

To my toddler puking on my face. That was grim.

SpamChaudFroid · 03/06/2019 17:16

I woke up to a man poking me in the head on a plane on the way back from Ibiza. I'd tried to pull on a pair of compression stockings and fallen asleep whilst doing so and sort of drooped into his lap.

I'm not surprised a lot of the culprits for rude awakenings are cats, I've been woken up to mine chewing on my fingers, and once sinking his fangs into the only bit of me outside the duvet, (my wrist). Neither were done playfully. Cats are arseholes. But loveable.

ILoveDaveGrohl · 03/06/2019 17:18

My boyfriend turning over and head butting me in his sleep. Also elbowed me in the face. That was a bad weekHmm

PickAChew · 04/06/2019 01:06

Yeah. My favourite ever had a habit of chewing on my eyebrows until I gave her somr pillow space. She was a proper twat cat.

MitziK · 04/06/2019 01:36

DP fidgets in his sleep when he's stressed. It turns into wailing and waving about like a demented daddylonglegs when he's overloaded.

He'd fallen asleep sprawled across the bed with his clothes and shoes on. No problem, he's had a few rough nights, I thought, I'll just get in upside down. Vaguely stirred in my sleep, thought 'dreaming again' and went straight back off. In deep, deep sleep, I was woken by his shoe heel slamming into my face.

I have a history of an ex and previously, a parent who would wait until I was asleep before switching on the light, screaming and dragging me out of bed. I went mental.

I screamed, I cried, I punched him repeatedly and rolled him overmshoved and slapped at him until he fell off the bed with a crash. And then curled up in a sobbing ball. To the sound of his snoring on the floor.

When he woke up, bright and breezy in the morning, wanting to tell me about a dream he'd had, I turned to look at him. Half of my face was black and blue - my turning slightly had accidentally prevented him from stamping my nose into mush, but the state of me made it pretty clear that his funny dream of getting his wellies stuck in the mud wasn't quite what happened.

He slept on a blanket on the floor for a month.

If he starts calling out when asleep now, I'm up and out before the arms and legs get involved.

The scariest one was either simple sleep paralysis or the stalky ex breaking into my old flat and standing over me to freak me out before walking away as I was so deep asleep that I was paralysed. I still don't know for sure which it was.

And then I wonder why I don't sleep properly...

CigarsofthePharoahs · 04/06/2019 07:18

My cat pissing on my foot.
My cat taking a flying leap from my wardrobe and landing claws out on my chest.
My then 2 year old saying "I'm sorry, I'm sorry." repeatedly whilst projectile vomitting all over my bed.

Loud bangs as various electronic devices gave up the ghost due to a failure in the mains wiring on the street. All the neutral wires had become live. Lucky for us, nothing caught fire, but one of my neighbours had all her lightbulbs explode. Another had just spent £££ on two brand new TVs that went bang and then started smoking.
So we're all outside at 5am dazed in jammies while a group of firemen (and women) went round checking every house.
They were all young and gorgeous. Adonis like. The female firefighter looked like she'd just arrived from a posh haircare advert.
Got told we shouldn't be inside until engineers had made everything safe so we spent the morning with our neighbors outside. We did risk getting dressed, but I got out our camping stuff and made tea, then another neighbor made sandwiches and someone found some wine…
A terrible way to wake up, but a lovely day in the end!

Frownette · 04/06/2019 07:37

@CigarsofthePharoahs you made the impromptu party sound like fun Grin

Another cat one here, I was just coming to and the cat was on the pillow maintaining very steely eye contact doing a poo. I came around fully very quickly and started screaming

Peachesandcream14 · 04/06/2019 07:44

DD scissor kicked me in the head this morning at 5.20am. Not fun.

Frownette · 04/06/2019 07:48

Just remembered something worse than the cat pooing, I'd left the front door unlocked and woke up to a woman I vaguely knew who had wandered in high as a kite and started stroking my hair.

I screamed and screamed and screamed, she left sharpish.

@MitziK that sounds awful

pineapplebryanbrown · 04/06/2019 13:43

These cat stories have confirmed I'm a dog person.

Toddlerteaplease · 04/06/2019 15:45

One of my cats was a frequent projectile vomiter, to the point that I had a towel and her blanket on my bed so I could catch it if I woke up to the plumbing noise!

Toddlerteaplease · 04/06/2019 15:46

The same cat also likes to sneeze cat snot in my face. It's a good job she's utterly adorable!

SuburbanCrofter · 04/06/2019 16:11

Police hammering on the door early in the morning. They asked for Suburban, I said that was me - and they proceeded to fairly aggressively question me about what I had been doing in Henley the night before. My sleepy protestations that I had never been to Henley in my life (and furthermore was a respectable upstanding citizen) fell on deaf ears. Eventually one of them looked at his notepad and realised that they were looking for Suburban Differentsurname who lived opposite. Off they went without so much as an apology!

sleepismysuperpower1 · 04/06/2019 16:45

Poonamis are the worst.
although
a few years ago I was woken up by the feeling of something crawling across my face. sat up, turned on the light and there were 2 spiders on my pillow Envy

justasking111 · 04/06/2019 16:57

We have two dogs, one of them bark if they need to go out during the night the other does not. Middle of winter got up and wandered into kitchen to put kettle on, stepped in something wet, stepped back to kitchen light switch more something. When I turned the light on there were half a dozen runny poo puddles. I had stepped in two and traipsed it across the floor. I then had to get across a pale hall carpet to the bathroom to shower it off. That was disgusting.

GummyGoddess · 04/06/2019 17:02

Woke up to a bang and screaming, couldn't see dc2 anywhere. Apparently I had briefly nodded off while breastfeeding, he must have crawled towards the bedside table to get my phone and then just gone off the side of the bed. He was fine, checked over very thoroughly by two doctors and the head of the paediatric unit who said his wife did something similar.

Cherrysoup · 04/06/2019 17:53

@Hedgehogblues

I’m so sorry Flowers

SecretWitch · 04/06/2019 18:48

My poor cat got woken in the worst way when I vomited on his head.

Lolimax · 04/06/2019 19:08

A couple of weeks ago I'd gone to bed having felt unwell all day. I woke up with stomach cramps, farted but followed through and had Type 7 diarrhoea. It was everywhere.

NCforthis1234 · 05/06/2019 01:35

A tree fell on our house. I was deeply asleep at 5am and woke to hear dh bellowing my name. I couldn't work out where from.

I then saw branches poking into the ceiling from the roof. I thought he had gone into the loft and broken his leg and was stuck there shouting.

He had started to leave for work and was just about to drive away when he saw the tree come crashing down on the house.

We were completely trapped in the house and he had to climb back in through a window.

Louisme · 05/06/2019 02:20

Alone in an empty tent with no clothes or memory of how I got there at a festival. I'd been spiked and raped, in a couple of ways. I remember some, physically unable to move, think I've looped the glimpse of a memory to make it seem longer. I'm glad I don't remember more but I'm still dealing with the physical repercussions that I'm too embarrassed to get checked out three years on

Amazonfromkent · 05/06/2019 08:30

Louisme, sorry to hear what happened. Something very similar happened to me. We will be OK. Hugs.