Today I said the wankiest thing ever.

[LadyOfTheCanyon]

Cutting some cellophane into a circle at work while I customer watched
"that's pretty nifty!" She said " How do you know how to do that?
" Oh, it's the same principle as making a Cartouche for sweating celeriac!" I said cheerfully.

I fear my WC forebears are spinning in their graves. What's the wankiest thing you've ever said?

*Boil in the vag

Is that you Gwyneth?*

🤣🤣🤣

Boil in the vag!!!!

Totally didn't see anything amiss with OP's post until she self-corrected. Which I'm not sure says what exactly about me. Now PMSL, trying not to wake the sleeping baby in the next room.

Boil in the vag 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Boil I the vag is that a bit like toad-in-the-hole?

Boil in the vag curries, for the menopausal lady who's short of time

@LadyOfTheCanyon boil in the vag has me absolutely crying, I've had such a crappy day thank you so much 😂 DP is also giggling away! Another vote for an absolute classic!
In the spirit of wanky things, it made me snort my champagne through my nose

Boil in the vag 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@LifeImplosionImminent nice one!

A friend who works in healthcare couldn’t decide whether to say to the doctor ‘have a good shift’ or ‘have a good night’ so ended up saying ‘have a good shite’

HHAHAHAHAHAAA!! This is so the kind of shit that happens to me.

Boil in the vag has got to be one of the best typos I've ever seen!

So I once had an important family birthday weekend away, followed by a hen weekend, followed by a holiday with friends, followed by a wedding abroad.....all in a row.
I was attempting to meet up with another friend, we tried looking at dates....I still have the message I’ve just looked back!

“I can’t do next weekend as I’m away at my uncles villa in Spain.....the weekend after I’m in Dublin for the hen I was telling you about”
“Oh that’s fine I’m free the weekends after if we can fit in a coffee?”
“Oh no that’s when I’m in Dubai then the weekend after that I’m at the wedding in Portugal”
“Holy shit”
“I need a proper holiday after this”

Wtf did I say that?!?

I’m just trying to think of the most appropriate ‘boil in the vag’ curry type ....😂 Nothing with too much chilli, hopefully?! 😳

My wankiest moment was as a child. An adult asked me what I was getting for Christmas. My reply (for God alone knows what reason) was ‘a gold watch and a fur coat’ . I was a strange child!

In a 'stupid things I've said out loud' way, DSs name is Lewis, I call him Peanut, walking through Sainsbury and I trill "Come here please, my little penis"... Got mixed up, didn't I.

In a wanky way "Oh he'll just have some olives and brucetta, he's not fussed on hummous but he does like guacamole"

I often try and make small talk with shop assistants and it always goes wrong, I just never learn.
ME: "You planning anything nice this weekend?"
SHOP A. "No, I'm here all weekend - leave at 11 back in at 6"
ME: "Well, err, have a lovely one anyway".....then dash out feeling daggers striking my back!
I just keep bloody doing it though!

Is it a fish curry, this boil in the vag one?

my dads jewish he took me to a jewish bakery when i was about 8, i asked if they had any sausage rolls and got sent outside to wait for him 😂

boiled in the vag the new term for how babies are made. 😂

DS (10 at the time) : 'Are we having masturbated strawberries?'
Me
DH 'No, you mean 'macerated'
Me

Classics surely! Thanks for a brilliant laugh OP!

A waiter, served my food in a pub, and said, "enjoy your meal!" My reply? "Thank you, bye!" As if I was rudely dismissing him from our table! I was mortified. My companion at the time laughed so much he nearly shat his pants.

'Boil in the vag curry' has got to become a new Mumsnet saying, like 'Screaming in the Sistine chapel', 'Penis beaker' or 'Snapped and farted'.

Boil in the vag is the new snapped and farted

This wasn't me. The wankiest thing I witnessed recently was a member of the public at a comedy festival being driven along on a tuk-tuk. She was playing the violin with her eyes shut. I am wanker-intolerant these days (also she and her huge family pushed right in front of us in the queue for an event).

boil in the vag - have not laughed so much infact needed to get my inhaler have not laughed so much in ages.

Thank you - boil in the vag goes down in history as thebest typo

not wanky but totally mortifying, told my slimming world group I was ready to get back ON the game after a gain that week, meant to say back IN the game !! worse was I was so excited about it and didnt even realised what I had said until everyone else couldnt stop giggling and it had to be explained to me why there were !

Boil in the vag!! Mumsnet new phrase!