Today I said the wankiest thing ever.

[LadyOfTheCanyon]

Cutting some cellophane into a circle at work while I customer watched
"that's pretty nifty!" She said " How do you know how to do that?
" Oh, it's the same principle as making a Cartouche for sweating celeriac!" I said cheerfully.

I fear my WC forebears are spinning in their graves. What's the wankiest thing you've ever said?

Loving the boil in the vag curries!

Had chinese delivered the other night, paid my money and the man said 'enjoy your meal', so I replied. 'Yeah, you too'. felt a right twat as I hurriedly closed the door.
I do that sort of thing all the time.

10pm in the local shop, they say 'enjoy your evening' and I say 'you too'
This week's worst was saying thank you to a self service machine. If ever there was a time to awkwardly shuffle away

I am crying 🤣 boil in the vag! Waiting for DH to come out of the supermarket just snorted and the car window is wide open

'I'm supposed to be a dramatic soprano with an extended lower range, but I do wonder sometimes whether it would be more accurate to say I'm a true contralto'.

To make matters worse, it was said at a choral society shindig.

What it actually means is that I spent an awfully long time singing along to Freddie Mercury and can do both parts for On the Trail of the Lonesome Pine when given enough alcohol and I have been put in with the Tenors because there aren't enough little old men coming along for them to be audible or remain in tune with their hearing aids.

I have NEVER laughed out loud to a mumsnet thread... until I read that epic autocorrect. #boilinthevag 🤣

Oh OP!! This had the makings of a great thread ... totally derailed by boil in the vag

@BursarsDriedFrogPills (great name btw) my 4 year old told me that his reception class were talking about favourite fruit. Apparently no one else had heard of persimmons so he had to explain. He’s very very eccentric and has form for this sort of thing gets it from my father

Not me, because I probably have too many to choose from, but DP once said 'I mean, I know nothing about stained glass, but even I can identify 15th Century Norwich School pieces!'

We were lying in bed post-coital at the time.

Hurrah.
Another competitive 'how MC am I' thread.

I actually think I luffs you, OP. Best auto correct fail ever!

Omg @LadyOfTheCanyon I’m literally sat here tears rolling at boil in the vag curries

Thank you for that!

MitziK - you sound like me. I've been typecast as a soprano in several choirs, but every now and again I love to let my inner alto out (hence my username).

I've probably said something similar.

Every time I ask if I can use my “Gourmet Society” discount card I cringe.

If boil in the vag curries do not exist, someone should surely invent them

best thread ever! Is 3 pages in too early to nominate for classics?

Husband and I are in absolute stitches. Also had no idea what the OP meant (cartouche?!) but can understand boil in the vag 😂😂😂😂😂

DH went to see the (Catholic) priest to get a passport photo signed and it happened to be Fathers Day. As DH was leaving the priest said "oh, and happy Father's Day" to which DH replied "you too"!

"Snapped and farted". I remember that.

Wankiest in terms of sounding like a supercilious nob was going through customs on a flight back from Italy. I was with a friend and her parents had rented a villa in Umbria for about a month and told us we could stay for ten days, so we got cheap flights, blah. We were also travelling with backpacks and not suitcases. Anyway, we both hadn't flown for quite a while and so we thought that having three G 'n' Ts on the flight would be fine and when we landed we were obviously drunk and meandering around the airport on our way to customs. Got there, asked to open our backpacks and the customs chap said: "Just back from Hosteling in Italy then". and I said in my poshest voice - I am not posh - "We were staying in a villa in Umbria actually!"

I'm glad I did because they allowed us to do up our backpacks and be on our way. There was nothing dodgy in them, it was just the thought off having to pack them again whilst the worst for wear which I wasn't looking forward to.

Wanky things where I've said the wrong thing? Oh so very many! Loads since nine years ago when I had a brain haemorrhage and talked a lot of shite because the brain wasn't working. Asked what I had had for breakfast I answered: " Wool in gravy."

Surely a boil in the vag should be relocated over to sporners corner OP.

🤣 Boil in the vag..best thread.

I understood exactly what the OP meant - what does that say about me?

I just laughed at loud at "boil in the vag" and DP looked at me and said, "What's the matter? Have you just put a spell on someone?" Charming!

Can we have this in classics so this gem never ever gets lost please?