Your child asks you to lay with them...

[cjt110]

They are 4.5 years old. Usually self soothe to sleep but ask you to lay with them.

Do you be Mum A who insists they sleep on their own. Child gets upset and you feel like a massive shit for trying to stick to the "rules" that "they" set dow about self settling.

Or

Be Mum B which thinks "fuck what "they" think" and lays with your child with their bedtime music on, soothing them and letting them fall asleep cuddling you?

B, always. To refuse a cuddle to a child struggling to sleep that young seems cruel.

Mum B

B every night with 6yr old

I used to be mum A , but when ds dad moved out a little over a year ago he kept coming into my bedroom during the night. I went through the whole thing of putting him back to bed , reward charts etc nothing worked. Then I thought what the hell this kid is 4 years old and needs his mum. Now I'm mum B ! DS creeps in every night about 1am and I love waking up with him giving him cuddles.
My friend said today she keeps wishing her 19 year old was 3 again. I get that!

I've always been A.
I'll give kisses and cuddles and read a story but THEN it's lights out, go to sleep, no pissing about.

Oh how I miss the Mum B days! As of yesterday I have 2 teenagers in the house and am feeling a bit wistful for when they were little.

I’m mum C who doesn’t give a shit what “they” say but needs a bit of personal space at the end of a long day and has no chance of staying awake if I lay down with child so offer five minutes of cuddles / handholding then leave.

They won't be asking you to lay with them when they're 13.

Unless they are my 15 year old. rolls eyes

Depends. Mostly B but sometimes A has been required for sanity's sake. They are older though.

Not just sanity. Boundaries.

Mine were sleep trained but still plenty of times they needed a cuddle or crept in with us. That was until way past 13!

B. My DD is 5.5 and if she wants the odd snudge I’m more than willing to provide it.

DH is away this week and DS has been under the weather, so I've had him sleeping in my bed all week Mum B all the way!

I'm mum A but my son has never wanted cuddles before bed, he just rolls over and sleeps during a story. Id definitely mum B if he wanted to once in a while

I was A with my first, because I thought that was how you parented and both sets of grandparents expected it. Then I got confident and instinctive and became mum b

I am mum B and sometimes my 14 year old still asks me to lie with him to help me sleep, or he has nightmares and gets into bed with me.

I'm OK with this because it's occasionally. If it was every night I'd get very tired of it, we'd have a talk about what his problems were, and we might seek some kind of professional help.

Ds is 13 I still go and lay with him for 5-10 mins when he goes to bed. Time for a quiet chat.

Correction... I am mum B and sometimes my 14 year old still asks me to lie with him to help HIM (not me) sleep, or he has nightmares and gets into bed with me.

Mum B always. And they grow out of it so don't worry.

I'm an A.
Cuddles before bed by all means.

Mostly B. Sometimes A if exhausted and harried.

Mostly Mum A
I'm not very flexible tbh

I would be a healthy mix of Mum A and Mum B. I want my children to know that when I say bedtime, it means bedtime. I dont want to spend my life worrying that they'll want me to lay down with them every single night until they move out.
I also want to teach them that sometimes it's just not possible all of the time.

When asked occasionally I'll be more than happy, but if it turns into one after another night of asking then they need to be reminded.

B really isn't sustainable for your sanity.

A bit of A now and again is necessary for everyone's sake.

B if it suits (and if it’s every once in a while) and A if needed or if it becomes a habit.

The only time ds would want this is when he's poorly - so B, absolutely.

However if it was bedtime fuckwittage, I morph into A - though in a firm but friendly way, I hope.