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[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello - this is the advice clinic, please come in. We are a team of untrained but experienced kindly Agony Aunts. There's no judgement here, even if you are a filthy, drunken old slag.

Oh and mothers can be awfully troublesome. I try not to find mine just as annoying as I did when I was fourteen but it is challenging.

Well this is wonderful news TTT!! i have been thinking about your pussy all day (!!) and i'm not even a lover of cats cos I'm allergic but I do know that pets are like babies of the family (or they should be in any case). Was worried!!

I think our collective magik, our hive magik skillz brought her back!

Also I'm happy to see dear old Project again, this is indeed a happy evening in the land of Thigh and I am raising a glass! Cheers to one and all!

Dangly!!

I'm raising a glass with all you pissed up flthy old slags and also raising a cup of tea to chink with my thober thisters!

I'm so happy I might open the hob nobs too!

Oh alright then I'll go off and get a glass and switch on filthy drunken old slag mode (haha, predictive text automatically comes up with that now).

Dangly you sound happy! (Don't let the over thister Thigh catch you in this state of gay abandonment, she'll think you've gone manic and book you in for more intensive advice treatment and confiscate your hobnobs)

Thober thister not over thister

I am surprised you haven't guessed the last thober thister yet Frown you nearly had it one time! Cheers! Chink!

In fact I'm thurprised!!

I've had three glasses of wine already but it was my friends birthday. I love an afternoon session. I was going to stop there but don't want to miss out so will pour another.

Thanks dangly - Chin-chin! Mine's a large Oolong.

So pleased your little cat is home TTT

Talk about wildlife, we have a fox living at the bottom of the garden, and last night she trotted out with FIVE cubs scampering along! I know they are vermin but they are an impressive sight.

I can't advise on aged parents. Mine popped off early but DH's lived well into their nineties, and it was no fun. We had to censor everything we told them because they would worry about every little thing. ( He was an only child!) Frown I can imagine the grief you are getting!

Oh project hope you have a better few weeks. Tholidarity!

Caroline they're beautiful beasts, you can't help but admire them.

Dangly the thober thisters are Gingernaut and Thigh. Unless one of them was pissed and misleading me.

TTT it's celebratory :)

Ah but there's four of them now Frown we exposed two more during the discussions!

TTT go on, you deserve it after all the worry!

Cheers Caroline chinks tea cup in other hand! (Hint to Frown)

Very relived TTT!

I love foxes. There's a foxhole just behind my flat.

Ummm...Ok so Gingernaut, thigh, Dangly and preggo

We can hear foxes at the back of us in the night, they make a screeching sound but now I know it's them I'm not bothered by it but I've never actually seen one.

I like the owls when I can't sleep they are very soothing. Never seen one though.

There are supposed to be badgers at the back but also never seen any!

I think I'm better at hearing animals than seeing them although I would like to!

I've got an advert for parma violets now!!

Frown you are just being silly now!

My dh is only still alive because I can use the cat's bum face he pulls at my weekend drinking as a bottle opener. The tighter the cat's bum mouth he pulls, the better he sheers off the top of the bottle for a clean break. Just pop bottle in his pursed lips and twist, Bobs your uncle and Fanny's your aunt.

I might market him one day.

Ok leaving human bottle openers aside, gingernaut, thigh, preggo, caroline.

Def not me tonight, friend called in state of excitement about 'news' and we have to have a drink at 10.30pm apparently. No early night for me :(

Not preggo she is just temporarily on hold until she is not preggo any more.

You are missing someone who has not even been hiding in plain sight!

Don't tell me dog is??? She's sposed to be my filthy drunken old slag twin!

Of course it's not Dog, she is a drunken whore riddled with the clap like me and you!

Oh that's ok then sighs with relief

@DogHairEverywhere come and defend yourself from this tittle tattle that you are not a drunken whore! It's outrageous!

Frown you have forgotten someone obvious who you now know well!

Hic! Cheers all!
I'm raising a glass in celebration of the safe return of TTT's cat.
I may kidnap him myself next time, just so i can celebrate his safe return. (Not really, i know how worrying it is when they go missing, so I won't even jest).

Hello Dog thanks for confirming and yes of course you have the clap after but that's ok it spreads like wildfire round here! Just put cream on it when it flares.

Isn't it happy news that TTT has het kitty back!

I'm so glad you came to defend your reputation as a strumpet! It got a bit silly round her then!