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My husband cheated on me last night
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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

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thethoughtfox · 13/05/2019 09:32

Be prepared: he may pretend he can't remember anything to create doubt it happened and he can't apologise for something he didn't even know how happened and how if he can't remember it, it proves he must have been so out of it he had no idea what he was doing.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:32

Is it wrong that I'm encouraging the children to make as much noise as possible right underneath the spare room? I have made up a new game I call "the screaming competition" (we are in a detached but I have texted the neighbour to warn her about our game) Grin

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kateandme · 13/05/2019 09:33

so was he facetiming you withthe shitty i love yoooos before or after the fact.was he already tryi to cover.were they on the way to her house for this "shag" and could wait so did it in the alley.
fuck!what a dick

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Samind · 13/05/2019 09:33

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Aquamarine1029 · 13/05/2019 09:33

Oh but apparently he didn't kiss her hmm that makes it ok

For fuck's sake. His mask finally slipped. My father always said, if you want to know who someone really is, see them when they're drunk. You have certainly seen the real him, op. Fucking scumbag.

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Anothertempusername · 13/05/2019 09:33

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LennyBelardo · 13/05/2019 09:33

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Orlandointhewilderness · 13/05/2019 09:34

OP I'm not normally straight to the LTB camp, but this is awful. I really feel for you and I cannot believe he has done this. 17. God, that is just not right.

I'll be thinking of you today. Be kind to yourself.

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:34

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LunafortJest · 13/05/2019 09:34

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DoxxedFox · 13/05/2019 09:35

I wouldn’t worry about the STD test as I imagine you’re never going to sleep with him again!

Sorry OP.

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MensWithVens · 13/05/2019 09:35

Christ OP.

I'm so sorry.

You sound amazing though. X

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Samind · 13/05/2019 09:35

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MummyBear2352 · 13/05/2019 09:36

What he's done is out of order. Stand your ground and get him put of your family home. It doesn't matter how drunk you are you don't cheat on your wife.

Put that space between you it'll help you decide if it's something you can forgive or not. Hope you're okay xx

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Anothertempusername · 13/05/2019 09:36

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LunafortJest · 13/05/2019 09:36

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Amibeingnaive · 13/05/2019 09:37

@LunafortJest, just because you have made your peace with being groomed, doesn't mean the OP needs to tolerate predatory behaviour in her husband.

Also, your comments around breastfeeding expose you as ignorant and insensitive.

Take your axe and grind it elsewhere, the OP needs support, not pricks with pitchforks.

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:37

@LunafortJest and the fact that you find a mother breastfeeding their child more 'skeevy' than a married man shoving his cock into the mouth of a 17-year-old kid in an alleyway, says a lot about your morals. Fucks sake.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:37

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Jellybeansincognito · 13/05/2019 09:37

I’m so sorry op, what a disgusting man he is.

It wouldn’t surprise me if he told you she gave him a blowjob just to suppress his guilt a bit.

I mean, they must have kissed, groped and why stop at a blowjob?

He can’t be trusted.

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LunafortJest · 13/05/2019 09:38

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Purplecatshopaholic · 13/05/2019 09:38

I feel for you OP. My husband did something very similar and I am now divorcing him for adultery. The anger I feel that he wrecked our marriage is a difficult thing to deal with. Stay strong and perhaps speak to someone you can trust - us on here dont know you - so you can get the feelings out. Hugs

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Prequelle · 13/05/2019 09:38

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:38

@Catchingbentcoppers Take your own advice. I for one am entitled to feel attacked with her prejudice against mixed age couples. I am sick of the bigotry and narrow-minded attacks I have faced in the real world, I didn't think I'd have to come here and read it. In 2019. Yes the OP has had a terrible shock, but that doesn't justify narrow-minded attitudes. Especially equating a 17 year old with paedophilia.

Again. This is not about you. You are so far over the line with your comments I'm almost embarrassed for you. Almost.

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Lost5stone · 13/05/2019 09:38

I'm so sorry OP

Some people have said to not worry about STD test seeing as you won't ever have sex with him again but I disagree. I know it's not what you want to hear but you can't guarantee this is the first time.

I'd personally let the kids play in garden for 5 mins whisk you throw a bucket of water over him and chuck him out.

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