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My husband cheated on me last night
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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

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FiremanKing · 13/05/2019 09:39

She probably wasn’t a teenager as in his drunken state he would have believed anything a woman tells him and/or in his mind his ego feels better by saying it was a young woman. She was probably 30 and doesn’t have all her own teeth.

Anyway, my view is that I would split up with him not just for the cheating but because he is stupid and cruel.

He could have easily got away with his misadventure but the fact that he told you means he is stupid and by planting the image of him having a blow job in your mind shows that he is very cruel. Drink is no excuse.

I bet in his mind he wanted you to feel jealous and let you know that he is still attractive to other women.

He is in fact quite horrible and personally I would not entertain being in a relationship with him as I would not be able to look at his mouth let alone kiss it.

However, whatever you decide to do I wish you and your children well.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:39

The kids wanted to see him, so I let them in to say good morning. I took the opportunity to ask him if he remembers what he did last night and he said yes. At least he's not denying it. He's currently vomiting so "can't talk right now". He actually had the nerve to ask me to close the blond properly. I told him to fuck off

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DinosApple · 13/05/2019 09:39

He is a complete shit OP, I'm sorry. Flowers

Yy to telling your MIL, it sounds like she will be supportive (even if it's just giving him somewhere to sleep). Kick him out, back to his parents and re-let your flat. A drunken one off blow job from a teenager, I wouldn't want to even look at him, let alone be married to him.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:39

@kateandme he FaceTimed me after the blow job he said

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RiversDisguise · 13/05/2019 09:40

No, it isn't paedophilia, but what he said shows such a complete contempt for this girl. No kissing, bj in an alley- she was just a convenient hole, then.

I think he fucked her anyway though. Sorry OP. Flowers

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sashh · 13/05/2019 09:40

The screaming game sounds fun, as does playing music so loud you can't scream over it.

When his mum calls just say you need him to move out and that he will tell her why.

Or send her a text saying that.

Then phone a solicitor.

You deserve better from him, don't let him talk you round, don't let him in to your flat.

Look into what benefits you can claim.

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LunafortJest · 13/05/2019 09:40

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Jellybeansincognito · 13/05/2019 09:41

exactly, a 17 year old isn’t an adult yet. They’re a minor, and mostly very easily led. What would an adult male want with someone who isn’t an adult?

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Amibeingnaive · 13/05/2019 09:41

Teenage girls often lie to make themselves older. There is every possibility she was not 17. I doubt he asked for ID.

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:41

@Anothertempusername The LEGAL definition of paedophilia is pre-teen. Instead of attacking the messenger (me), how about trying to learn the proper terms instead of bandying them about incorrectly.

So, @LunafortJest it's ok if they're 13/14? Yeah, I'm pretty sure most of us are not OK with that ...

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Anothertempusername · 13/05/2019 09:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Jellybeansincognito · 13/05/2019 09:42

@LunafortJest why has it hit such a nerve?
Cracks in your relationship?

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DecomposingComposers · 13/05/2019 09:42

So all the 13 year olds out there being raped and abused by 30 something men, that's not paedophilia, no?

As disgusting as it is that PP is right. In law, paedophilia is an attraction to pre pubescent children. Isn't it classed as 13 and under?

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:42

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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SimplySteveRedux · 13/05/2019 09:43

17? Where is his integrity?

So sorry OP Thanks

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PawPatrolToTheDogPound · 13/05/2019 09:43

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:43

But so was your deeply offensive insult about my relationship and those like me.

Once again. STOP TRYING TO MAKE THIS THREAD ABOUT YOU.

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Jellybeansincognito · 13/05/2019 09:43

49 year old and 17? Christ. Imagine being 32 holding that newborn that’ll be your partner in 17 long years.

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ChariotsofFish · 13/05/2019 09:43

@LunafortJest I’ve reported your disgusting and offensive post about breastfeeding. If you find yourself unable to be sympathetic to an OP in a horrible situation get off the thread and go and enjoy that wonderful healthy relationship with your award winning husband.

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justthecat · 13/05/2019 09:43

Kick him out now, why the hell should he recover his hangover in luxury. However he feels least he’ll feel better in a few hours, he’s not given you that luxury as to what he’s done to you 💐

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Anothertempusername · 13/05/2019 09:44

Anyway we should really ignore @LunafortJest and her utter ignorance as it's detracting from support for the OP.

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Amibeingnaive · 13/05/2019 09:44

@Jellybeansincognito, Christ, that's made me nauseous.

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QueenKubauOfKish · 13/05/2019 09:44

OMG OP bloody hell, what a horrible shock. DO NOT let him move into your flat, even temporarily because you may need it. If you're married, all assets will be joint, do you own the house you're living in?

Interesting that he wasn't earning much - IME this often has more to do with men cheating than not getting all sex they want. Wanting that ego boost and to feel like the big man. Hmm

Definitely tell his mum, ask for her help and support and let them deal with him. It is NOT your problem to find him somewhere to live.

Of course technically and legally a 30-something man can be with a 17yo girl but it's still grim and suggests very dodgy things about him, ESPECIALLY in those circumstances! He didn't fall madly in love with her, he used her for sex in a back alley.

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SimplySteveRedux · 13/05/2019 09:44

Even the thought of any sexual act with someone half my age (I'm 41) makes me feel sick and shudder.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:44

Actually @LunafortJest the definition is "someone sexually attracted to children". HTH

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