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My husband cheated on me last night
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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

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Nanny0gg · 13/05/2019 08:44

Yes he does need a check.

So sorry OP.

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Aquamarine1029 · 13/05/2019 08:44

I would be wondering if this is the first time he's cheated, the. As for the lack of sex excuse, he can shove that right up his arse. Whatever you do, don't hide what he did from his parents. All of the shame belongs only to him.

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BogglesGoggles · 13/05/2019 08:45

Yes he will need an STD test. It’s common for infections to lurk in throats (particularly in throats belonging to promiscuous teenagers). Do remember that he was drunk through. Some people (not me at all, why would you think I’m talking about me?) get very slutty when drunk. Don’t take it personally.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:47

Do you know what, I recently went to another country with girlfriends to mark a friend's birthday, 2 nights out, and I got chatted up loads off some gorgeous young men (actual adults unlike my darling husband) and it didn't even cross my mind to do anything with any of them. I almost pissed off now that I didn't (not really, I have no interest at all in anyone else)

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whatsthecraic91 · 13/05/2019 08:47

I would be going exactly what @Aquamarine1029 suggested, get on the phone to his parents and shame him. What he has done is unforgivable

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Suebnm · 13/05/2019 08:48

Please don't let him have your flat. You don't owe him anything and he should face the consequences of his actions not be mollycoddled and provided for. Think how you would feel if your daughter did that to a man old enough to be his daughter. What would you think of the man?

If you let him have your flat you will deeply regret it in the future whatever you decide to do.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:49

@Suebnm if that was my daughter I would think he was the scum of the earth.

For clarity I have no ill feeling towards this 17yo, I feel sorry for her. Imagine being treated like that by an older man!

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whatsthecraic91 · 13/05/2019 08:49

And definitely do not give him your flat to live in - make him suffer

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Whatevermission · 13/05/2019 08:49

I would think that he had sex with her, but isn't telling you.

Do you think he has cheated before? Do YOU need an STI check? Don't worry about him, he can sort his own infections out

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diddl · 13/05/2019 08:50

I agree with no to the flat-won't you need to rent it out again for income for yourself?

Not up to you to house the scumbag.

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Thismumlikesart · 13/05/2019 08:51

Unforgivable on so many levels. It's really concerning that he would want/allow a child to give him a bj especially when he knew her age. I wouldn't even be able to look at my DH after this. Sorry OP, get him out and not in your flat as you will need that income.

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user1483387154 · 13/05/2019 08:51

Please get yourself checked. You have no idea what he has done with other women too.

I'm so sorry you are going through this

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StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2019 08:51

Oh how awful. I feel sick reading this.
Can I just say I'm impressed you've not once blamed the 17yo. You're being very level headed.
He will though as soon as he's awake. She will have 'pursued' him and he was flattered. Be ready!

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StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2019 08:52

X post with your last message.

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redhotchill · 13/05/2019 08:52

He gets all lovey dovey when he's drunk....or immediately after he's cheated? Because that's what happened last night.

Go ring his mum then wake the scumbag up and kick him out.

Don't let him live in the flat, he's not your responsibility and you need the income as PPs have said.

You can move on without him, vile vile man

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Whatevermission · 13/05/2019 08:52

This post makes me feel sick she’s a young teenager

This is the most important part of the situation, for me. I may get over cheating. I would never forgive this

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Mummaofmytribe · 13/05/2019 08:52

Just wanted to say how awful for you. What a horrible shock. I wish you strength. You must feel like you've been punched in the stomach. I second pps, ring his mother. You need to get him out plus you need support. If you have a close friend now is the time to lean on that friendship. If my friend told me their husband had done this I wouldn't hesitate to be supportive Flowers

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:53

Yes I do need the flat income and TBH he's probably better staying at his parents', they won't charge him rent.

I believed him when he said it was the first time (I'm an idiot). But he's should probably get checked. FFS I used to work in the hospital where the sexual health clinic is, I know the receptionist. That's gonna be a fun day out Sad I hate him so much

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GarnierBBCream · 13/05/2019 08:53

He's minimising and my guess is that he actually shagged her. I'd be done.

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Likethebattle · 13/05/2019 08:54

Yes it’s cheating. Send the filthy git to his parents. Whether you have sec regularly or not isn’t an excuse for him to go and stick his knob in a teenagers gob!

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kateandme · 13/05/2019 08:54

oh tht would be it.to do something so horrid for one moment of what???with a 17 year old.its disgusting for all involved.degrading bastard has shown such little feeling and respect to you and her.

im so sorry.you must be feeling in actual pain right now.
tell someone honey.get someone to envelope you in warm arms of comfort.you need that,and deserve it.
you tell them by just telling them.could you text and say it to someone,or text and ask them to come round "dh has done something awful at footie,im devastated and dont no what to do?"

phone his mum.let that come down on him!becuse no doubt he will run to them with a sob story or lies.

keep your flat to make money.let him go live under a bush.

do NOT LISTEN TO EXCUSES.no sex doesnt equal the right to cheat.

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StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2019 08:55

You could go elsewhere for an sti check op if it would make you feel more comfortable

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GarnierBBCream · 13/05/2019 08:55

He wouldn't have the flat, he'd be off at his ma's but if I was his ma I'd tell him to hit the streets.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:55

YY whatever I think cheating is awful, but it would have been different with a woman his age. She was SEVENTEEN!!! He KNOWS how I feel about older men with young girls. He agrees with me when I've said in the past these men are basically peadophiles.

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StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2019 08:55

Yes I agree with tell someone irl. Mum, sister, best friend. Someone who will help to look after you.

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