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My husband cheated on me last night
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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 08:26

NC’d but a regular poster

Been married 10 years, 2 kids, mortgage and happy marriage where nothing more than a few arguments have happened.

Husband went out to watch football yesterday - a rare occurrence he doesn’t often drink so I knew he’d be three sheets to the wind.

He FaceTimed me at 10.30 pissed as a fart telling me how beautiful I am and that he loves me. Not unusual, he gets soppy when drunk. But then he started telling me about a girl who’d pursued him all night and offered to take him back to hers for a shag. She was 17, two weeks off her 18th birthday apparently. I said why are you telling me this, I hope you told her no, and he stayed quiet and said he was getting a taxi home, and laid it on thick with the “I love you” and compliments.

While I was waiting for him to come home I had a sick feeling and knew something wasn’t right. When he got back I asked him if he did anything with that girl. I fully expected him to say “no of course not” because I didn’t think for a moment he’d cheat on me. But he confessed she gave him a blow job down the side of a furniture shop.

I feel sick. The fact she’s 17 - less than half his age - makes my skin crawl. What kind of man is he?! He has ruined everything. And to make it worse DD (6) had D&V so whilst he was getting a blow Job from a teenager I was mopping up sick and shit from the bathroom.

He said it was a one off, just a blow job and not emotional and he doesn’t see it as proper cheating. I think it makes it worse he used some poor girl for just her mouth. I can almost see an emotional affair would’ve been worth the risk of our marriage but not this. He says he deeply regrets it(!)

He’s still in (spare) bed, no doubt won’t remember anything and all I’ve done is cry. I haven’t slept, I’m in the bedroom while the kids watch a film downstairs, sobbing and hoping they don’t see me.

I can’t leave, he’s self employed and hasn’t been doing too well lately financially so we’ve dipped into our savings and they’re gone. I have no family around (he does). I do have a flat I rent out and the tenants are moving out in 3 weeks so I’m going to say he can live there.

I’m utterly heartbroken. He’s ruined everything. I wish this wasn’t happening and I genuinely never ever thought he’d do this to us. And with such a young woman, makes me think he’s just a predatory creep

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ReganSomerset · 13/05/2019 09:16

@mummyDA

So, your DH can wander around sticking his penis into the mouths of under 18s all he likes then? It would be better for the dc if their dad wasn't receiving oral sex from a teenager down an alleyway-he's the one who's broken the relationship and family unit. Don't try and pin the relationship breakdown on the op.

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Boysey45 · 13/05/2019 09:17

Dont give him your flat OP your flat, go see a solicitor and divorce him. Don't give him another chance,hes a pig. I'd also tell everyone why you are divorcing him because he was getting a teenager to suck him off.

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Sunkisses · 13/05/2019 09:17

Definitely don't allow him in your flat. Don't even mention it. Not only will you need the income, but if it all goes tits up it can be incredibly hard to evict someone who doesn't want to go. It could turn into a massive headache that you'll deeply regret later on. You need to be strong and put yourself and kids first. Don't allow him to manipulate, blame, guilt trip, emotionally blackmail or gaslight you

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Everybodywantstobeacat123 · 13/05/2019 09:18

What a dirty bastard. I'd be wondering what else he's been upto.

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GarnierBBCream · 13/05/2019 09:18

The gaslighting and then expecting to retreat to his pit and get a good kip would be it for me, I'd boot him. Also really think he's lying that it was 'just a BJ'. Wouldn't surprise me if he paid her.

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Biancadelrioisback · 13/05/2019 09:19

Just commenting to show you some more support. Fucking by scumbag. I have no advice but utterly disgusted on your behalf

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rainbowlovesfroot · 13/05/2019 09:19

For me personally this wouldn’t be necessarily enough to break up my family. Simply beach’s she was drunk and he told me. It’s not like he went out looking for sex or looking to cheat iyswim

As he done this kind of thing before ?

You can’t legally ask him to leave and because ur married the flat is also his flat. Why not ask him to leave for say a week so you have space and time to think what YOU want to do ?

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Nameusernameuser · 13/05/2019 09:20

I'm so sorry OP, I'm actually shocked. Not usually gobsmacked by cheating threads but this is insane.
Have my very first and not light handed LTB.

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SteveTheSpiderPlant · 13/05/2019 09:21

How awful. This is on him for ruining your relationship and fir him to say its not cheating would make me wonder what exactly he thinks is cheating!

Big hug to you OP, kick that scum bag out.

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Quartz2208 · 13/05/2019 09:21

Yes send him now to his parents and get him to explain why

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jonrotten · 13/05/2019 09:21

Christ, what a bastard. So sorry OP.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:23

His mum is at work but I've messaged her to call me when she can. I feel bad for putting this on her

However, this wouldn’t be enough to break up your family. You have 2 children. It is always better for their parents to be together.

Oh yeah, fuck my life and feelings, I'm not a human being I'm just a uterus on a stick who must put up with anything because it's apparently "better" for the children to be living with a man who's nearing 40 and has sexual relations with girls young enough to still be in school.

I do have some self respect thank you

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Figgygal · 13/05/2019 09:23

What an absolute pig I agree with everyone else send them to his parents do not let him have the luxury of your property or your company any longer

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Gazelda · 13/05/2019 09:23

Yes what your husband has done is bad and will take time to recover from.However, this wouldn’t be enough to break up your family. You have 2 children. It is always better for their parents to be together

MummyDA I strongly disagree with you. It is not always better for parents to be together.

OP, I'd wake him up now and tell him to get to his parents. Tell him you'll talk when you're ready.
You need space and time to get your head around this shock.
He needs to face what he's done.

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:24

Do remember that he was drunk through. Some people (not me at all, why would you think I’m talking about me?) get very slutty when drunk. Don’t take it personally.

Don't take it personally that she shoved his dick into a 17 year olds mouth? Really? Hmm

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StealthPolarBear · 13/05/2019 09:24

Really can't put it better than you op :o

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Catchingbentcoppers · 13/05/2019 09:26

However, this wouldn’t be enough to break up your family. You have 2 children. It is always better for their parents to be together.

Fucking hell. Do people really think like this? Really think that this kind of behaviour should be accepted because they have children? OP, you ARE worth much more than this don't let him, or anyone else, convince you otherwise.

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redhotchill · 13/05/2019 09:26

Good for you OP. Have you packed him a bag? Otherwise he'll "forget" something just to come back. Tell him you don't want to see or hear from him until you say so

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aintnothinbutagstring · 13/05/2019 09:27

It sounds like you're taking a lot of responsibility for him, giving him a flat and thinking about an STD test for him, surely it's his mess to sort out? Think only of looking after yourself and the kids. And I wouldn't forgive this either, it would really make me think of him as scum.

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ohfourfoxache · 13/05/2019 09:28

What a cuntweasel Shock

Well done for texting your MIL, sounds like she could be a brilliant source of support

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TheInvestigator · 13/05/2019 09:28

God. When I was 21, I went out with someone whose ex-girlfriend was 16. Safe to say there was no 2nd date. A man in his 40s... I'm so sorry OP. But I'm glad you're not going to gloss over it.

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:29

I haven't packed a bag as "his" wardrobe is in the spare room where he's sleeping and if I go in there I'll thump him in the face so I'm staying away. It's taking all my self control to be this reasonable.

And yes I will take my husband receiving oral sex from a child personally. I just cannot believe this is happening.

Oh but apparently he didn't kiss her Hmm that makes it ok

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WifeOfCheater · 13/05/2019 09:30

On the upside it's a gorgeous day I'm gonna take the kids in the garden (and hope DD doesn't explode with vomit or poo 😬) and sit feeling sorry for myself.

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Orangeballon · 13/05/2019 09:31

I feel for you, have had a cheating partner, always devastating, take steps to secure your living and financial position. Tell you partners parents what has happened and get their support. Do not be ashamed you have done nothing wrong.

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LunafortJest · 13/05/2019 09:31

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

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