Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

How much do you trust your 6 yr old?

166 replies

hidinginthenightgarden · 06/05/2019 14:13

Or how much responsibilty do you give them?

I think I am quite trusting of DS.
He makes his own breakfast and drinks - sometimes for his sister too. He sometimes hoovers the stairs (dyson handheld), tidy his room. I let him shower or bath without supervision and I let him use the toilets in restaurants and pubs on his own. I leave him watching TV whilst I nip to the garage which is just outside the garden (about 50m from the back door).
DH always wants to supervise toilets and doesn't let him walk as far ahead as me etc.
I think DS is capable of alot more. He is a smart kid and very sensible.
We have a park opposite our house. I can see it from the front door and the kitchen window. I would probably be okay with him going to the park without me, as long as I could leave the front door open so I could hear when he wanted to cross back or if he was hurt. The road isn't a main road but not super quiet either.
DH definitley wouldn't be up for that but neither of us have alot of experience with what is age appropritate.
What do you allow your 6 yr old to do?

OP posts:
Howmanysleepstilchristmas · 06/05/2019 15:44

Everything you listed except the park.

Onceuponacheesecake · 06/05/2019 15:48

He could make his own breakfast but is v messy so I prefer too Blush

I wouldn't let him go to the toilet in a public place without me.

I'm always upstairs when he is in the bath but rarely in the same room but he is constantly chatting and making noise.

I consider myself laid back but some of your post makes me uncomfortable. I'd probably want to wait another year until the park unless I was sitting out the front

Paddingtonthebear · 06/05/2019 15:48

I wouldn’t let my 6yr old DD go into public toilets alone. She’s sensible its other adults I’m concerned about. Ditto for being in a park alone. Wouldn’t let her cross a road alone either, kids don’t have good perception of traffic until they are a bit older, apparently

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

Behaviour & development Families
Aroundtheworldin80moves · 06/05/2019 15:52

Wouldn't let DD go to toilet alone as she's locked herself in a couple of times.
Can make her own breakfast
Has no road sense so no to park.
I leave her in house when going to car which is further than your garage.

stargirl1701 · 06/05/2019 15:55

Yes to the park but no to public toilets.

AudacityOfHope · 06/05/2019 15:55

I'm the same as you.

I walk him halfway to school. Expect as much of him as his 9 year old sister really.

MammaMia19 · 06/05/2019 15:58

I wouldn't let Dd 6 go loo alone in a public place, she uses her own cubicle but I wouldn't let her go off to the loos by herself
I let her bath alone and she tidies her own room, clears her own plate etc
I would never ever let her go to the park or cross the road without me. Too worried about strangers, traffic, and it's not a necessary risk.

Itsallwhite · 06/05/2019 16:03

I think all of what you posted is perfectly fine! I think it's good for responsible children to do things like that. Would there be other children in the park?

Mixedupmummy · 06/05/2019 16:12

I have a 6 year old and agree with most of your post

-your dh is mad supervising a 6 year old at in the toilet at home if I've read that correctly... what does he think happens at school... although agree would take a 6 year old child to most public toilets. perhaps exception would be a quiet and familiar soft play or similar.

park not ok because of road... feel a bit funny about you going to the garage too. it's not the same as being at the bottom of your garden.

although your 6 year old is very capable they can still get scared and be unsure of what to do in unfamiliar circumstances or emergencies so you should be close at hand in the (albeit unlikely) event of like that something happening.

Kungfupanda67 · 06/05/2019 16:23

My 6 year old makes his own cereal but not toast, gets himself and his brother drinks, does other odd jobs as and when. I occasionally leave him at home when I pop to the shop (2 minutes away, so less than 10 minutes home alone). I let him go to the toilet if it’s somewhere we’ve been before. I leave both kids (6yo and nearly 3) to get on with playing wherever we are.

My husband is a bit more ‘hovery’ than me, doesn’t give them as much freedom and is a bit more on edge when they’re climbing or whatever. I think though that’s a lot to do with the fact he rarely has all 3 on his own, I’m usually there too so if he’s supervising one closely I’ve got the others, whereas I’m breastfeeding a 5 month old, looking after a toddler and a 6 year old so they’ve just got to get on with it a lot of the time 🤷‍♀️

DianaPrincessOfThemyscira · 06/05/2019 16:26

Almost exactly the same here aside from the park. It’s also DH who is very over protective.

I watched that Planet Child thing last night where they got a bunch of kids to get the bus across London. I don’t think my ten year olds could successfully do that, let alone my 7 year old!

Actually I don’t leave them him alone to go to the shop, only because I don’t trust them together. If only one was in then I would do it.

formerbabe · 06/05/2019 16:29

Why are you in such a hurry for him to be independent? Sounds like pure laziness to me. Shocking that when you're out, you can't even be bothered to accompany him to the toilet.

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:31

I'm with former

What's your rush? Your child is SIX.

Crunchymum · 06/05/2019 16:33

My 6yo is a lazy sod.

He would happily let me do all the donkey work however he can dress, cloth, feed himself cereal in the morning (he is messy so I often just sort out the breakfast). He can brush his own teeth, wipe his arse etc. I supervise teeth brushing and showering still though.

I did let him use a really busy toilet on his own recently (a posh portaloo kind of thing) but whilst he was in there I kind of had a panic..... made him come to ladies with me next time was at an all day event
I'd trust the 6yo whilst I nipped to the shop across the road (it's very close) but I have a 4yo and 1yo and wouldn't chance leaving them.

No way would he be allowed to the park alone, even a very close park.

PotolBabu · 06/05/2019 16:35

My just turned 7 year old can:
Make toast and butter it
Make his own cereal (so effectively make his breakfast and his brother’s) which he does while I make their packed lunches.
He helps me and DH with odd jobs- tidying up, loading the dishwasher, helping with the laundry.
I do not let him bath alone but he showers alone. He has a smaller sibling so I supervise both in the bath.
I would say no to the park.
I encourage him to pay in supermarkets and order in restaurants. He could go to public toilets on his own and has a few times but he’s scared of locking himself in so one of us goes with him.
I would rather he be independent and self sufficient within the house than outside of it to begin with IYSWIM. He’s a bit of a day dreamer so no independent road crossing yet for a while.

Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 06/05/2019 16:40

Why are you in such a hurry for him to be independent? Sounds like pure laziness to me. Shocking that when you're out, you can't even be bothered to accompany him to the toilet.

It isn't lazy, its just about letting them grow up!
DH is happy for him to put himself to bed because he can't be arsed to go upstairs with him and have a cuddle/chat/read. That is lazy.
I just don't see the point of following him into a familiar pub to watch him pee and come out! If it were a new place then I would.

I'll wait a bit for the park as he doesn't really ask to go often anyway so it isn't an issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
hidinginthenightgarden · 06/05/2019 16:43

Oh and the park is a tiny park, completely open viewed and surrounded by houses that literally step out their doors and are 2 feet from the park. I am more bothered about cars than predators.

OP posts:
Nonnymum · 06/05/2019 16:46

I wouldn't let him in a public toilet alone or go to the park alone. I thinknat 6 he is still very young

formerbabe · 06/05/2019 16:46

You keep telling yourself that.

I think it's utterly disgraceful and pure laziness.

Of course children have to grow up but why the rush? They are small for a very short time.

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:48

I just don't see the point of following him into a familiar pub to watch him pee and come out! If it were a new place then I would.

You seem to be missing the part where you look after your child. Why would you take him in a new place? Because he would be unfamiliar? But you have no idea about protecting your 6 year old child from other adults in public toilets!

Just look after him

JacquesHammer · 06/05/2019 16:50

I think allowing a child to use a public loo alone in a place that is known to them is eminently sensible. It’s a decent skill to have at their disposal.

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:52

What's a decent skill? Going to the toilet?

trilbydoll · 06/05/2019 16:52

No to the park - on holiday we were camped next to a play area and we let dc go there on their own but in a more familiar area I would not trust them to wander off.

Public toilets - yes if they're in eyesight and I've got an idea of who's been in and out. Only if I'd been in before and knew the doors weren't too heavy for her.

DD1 does nothing at home, she's so lazy. The only food she'll get herself is sweets!

englishdictionary · 06/05/2019 16:54

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-379416/Girl-15-raped-public-toilet.html

Just look after your 6 year old.

JacquesHammer · 06/05/2019 16:55

What's a decent skill? Going to the toilet?

Doing so alone.

We all have levels of what we’re comfortable with and what we regard as safe.