How much do you trust your 6 yr old?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

Or how much responsibilty do you give them?

I think I am quite trusting of DS.
He makes his own breakfast and drinks - sometimes for his sister too. He sometimes hoovers the stairs (dyson handheld), tidy his room. I let him shower or bath without supervision and I let him use the toilets in restaurants and pubs on his own. I leave him watching TV whilst I nip to the garage which is just outside the garden (about 50m from the back door).
DH always wants to supervise toilets and doesn't let him walk as far ahead as me etc.
I think DS is capable of alot more. He is a smart kid and very sensible.
We have a park opposite our house. I can see it from the front door and the kitchen window. I would probably be okay with him going to the park without me, as long as I could leave the front door open so I could hear when he wanted to cross back or if he was hurt. The road isn't a main road but not super quiet either.
DH definitley wouldn't be up for that but neither of us have alot of experience with what is age appropritate.
What do you allow your 6 yr old to do?

Not all 6 year olds want to be fully dependent! My son wants to do things by himself, like go to the toilet or go to another bit of the supermarket to get some beans or whatever.

I posted for opinions on what you allow YOUR 6 yr old to do. Not what I shoudn't allow mine to do.

Oh. Sorry.

I allow my 6 year old to be accompanied to public toilets. Mainly due to the small but potentially serious risk.

That any better?

AudacityOfHope you let your 6 year old leave your sight in a supermarket?

If he's looking for independence how does it make you a better parent not to extend it to him?

This is a really easy one. Parents of 6 year olds are better if they assess each situation on its merit rather than extending 'independence' because said 6yo asked for it.

Parents of 6 year olds are better if they assess each situation on its merit rather than extending 'independence' because said 6yo asked for it

Absolutely. So I’m minded to think the OP (and others whose kids who want varying levels of independence at a similar age) are better placed to assess each situation on its merit than posters on the Internet?

Yes, it's not the jungle or the Rio favelas!! He can walk to another aisle, pick something up, and walk back.

Not all 6 year olds want to be fully dependent! My son wants to do things by himself, like go to the toilet or go to another bit of the supermarket to get some beans or whatever.

What 6 year olds want is irrelevant. Parents make decisions. Not 6 year olds.

Oh get a grip @englishdictionary clearly I think each thing through before making a decision..

Jesus the fucking level of conversation on here these days is dire.

jacques

Fair point. Maybe better not asking then, if they don't want to be told people do things differently 🤷🏻‍♀️

Middle class parents who let their children leave their sight in supermarkets or go to the pub toilet alone plus make their own breakfast = wonderful parents who are helping their children learn independence.

Single mum on a council estate living off benefits who does this = negligent

audacity

You have a problem with the level of conversation, yet you told me to 'get a grip' because I have a differing opinion!

nice one

Maybe better not asking then, if they don't want to be told people do things differently 🤷🏻‍♀️

She didn’t ask for her parenting skills to be ripped apart. She asked what people allowed their children to do.

“I don’t let me child go to the toilets” is fine.

“You’re a neglectful, lazy parent” less so.

Oh. I never said anyone was neglectful or lazy.

This is interesting to me as DS has just turned 7 and I’ve been wondering if I baby him too much. I take him to the toilet pretty much everywhere (only exception I can think of is our tiny local soft play), hold his hands on busy roads, make his meals, bedtime stories and tuck him in. I am a worrier and still get nervous seeing him on high climbing frames or riverbanks and I’m struggling to shake that off so it’s interesting to me to see someone at the other end of the scale. No criticism OP, just eye opening for me as I know I’m too cautious
The only household chore he really has is helping with the dusting and weeding which he likes doing.

I did the same than you.
It was a very voluntary move, not because I’m lazy or wanting them to grow up fast. But because I believe children should be allowed to be as independent as they can be. Because it’s good for their self esteem. Because they learn resilience.

I now have two teenagers who are able to look after themselves.

englishGirl at that age, for many more years, I still tuck dcs in bed and read them a bedtime story. Whilst leaving them to do all the things the OP is talking about.

They are not incompatible.

If this read “I want to let my six year old go to the shop and fetch my fags” the responses would be very different - but you say park and independence it’s fine....the risk is the same!

I never said the op was neglectful.

I consider it lazy parenting because you can just as easily accompany them to the park or toilet or wherever. There's no reason not to. Independence isn't especially necessary at six years old...I think it's way too soon.

If it's not lazy then I consider it incredibly naive.

This sounds reasonable to me OP. Although I might be wary of park and public toilets on own. But then I only have a 4 yo and it depends on the child. I do think children benefit from being given more trust and responsibility. You may want to read about 'Free Range Parenting' if you haven't already.

Things my DD did at 6ish:-

Put her laundry in her laundry basket
Helped clean the bathrooms (she was obsessed with it )
Went to the loos alone in a cafe we visited regularly
Helped herself to snacks.

Didn’t travel to school alone until secondary school.
Doesn’t go to the park alone now (never any interest)

Helped herself to snacks.

She also had stories in bed until she was 11, I still go in and kiss her goodnight now (at her request).

Cruddy formatting: snacks didn’t feature twice

MadAboutWands I haven’t said they are I’m just trying to work out if I’m babying DS and as I said in my post no criticism of the OP at all just an interesting contrast to me. I’ll tuck DS in and hold his hand as long as he’ll let me but I’m very aware that s lot of his school friends are a lot more independent.

It was your baseless leap of logic that annoyed me @englishdictionary

So many posters on here do it. It skews practically every conversation because it takes everyone down a path that was never intended in the OP. It's very boring.

Oh how silly of me.

Defiently no to the park
Recently went camping ( in the middle of know where) and somebody potential tired to abduct my two
Little boys (5 and 3) a guy went past in a van saw my little boys and reversed and started asking them if they'd like help on to a road. ( we were next to a stream and you go up a little embankment to the road) the guy couldn't see me for some reason I was perhaps shaded by a tree from his direction. I said they were fine and he shot off. - my point is it takes seconds to be abducted I wouldn't dream of letting a six year old to a park alone even if it is across the road.