How much do you trust your 6 yr old?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

Or how much responsibilty do you give them?

I think I am quite trusting of DS.
He makes his own breakfast and drinks - sometimes for his sister too. He sometimes hoovers the stairs (dyson handheld), tidy his room. I let him shower or bath without supervision and I let him use the toilets in restaurants and pubs on his own. I leave him watching TV whilst I nip to the garage which is just outside the garden (about 50m from the back door).
DH always wants to supervise toilets and doesn't let him walk as far ahead as me etc.
I think DS is capable of alot more. He is a smart kid and very sensible.
We have a park opposite our house. I can see it from the front door and the kitchen window. I would probably be okay with him going to the park without me, as long as I could leave the front door open so I could hear when he wanted to cross back or if he was hurt. The road isn't a main road but not super quiet either.
DH definitley wouldn't be up for that but neither of us have alot of experience with what is age appropritate.
What do you allow your 6 yr old to do?

There is no rush. But I don't believe him to be at risk.
I have been educating him from a very young age about consent and his body. He is aware that he cannot engage with others and I really doubt that someone is going to try and attack a child in a pub toilets when there are so many other adults around.
Very rarely maybe- but I judge the risk depending on each situation. Quiet unfamiliar pub - I would assist him, busy family pub, I let him go as long as the toilets aren't on the opposite side of the pub.

I have been educating him from a very young age about consent and his body. He is aware that he cannot engage with others and I really doubt that someone is going to try and attack a child in a pub toilets when there are so many other adults around.

You are missing a hefty does of reality.

English - I am aware that bad things happen. The article you wrote was a 15 yr old girl. At what point do we start letting them go alone if we use this as a case study? When they leave home and have been so wrapped up in cotton wool that they need a hand hold for every small movement?

How many nt, able bodied adults do you know who are unable to go to the toilet alone because their parents accompanied them as children?

And an 11 years old girl. It wasn't a case study, it was an example of yes this does happen and your child needs you to look after him. The idea that knowing about consent will protect him at 6 years old is naive. It's not difficult to go to the toilet with them, and while I agree that at 15 we don't need to; at 6 we almost certainly do.

Quite a few actually!
It used to really annoy me when friends would always ask you to go with them because they "didn't like going alone".

When they leave home and have been so wrapped up in cotton wool that they need a hand hold for every small movement?

Yeah, no one is going to suffer when they leave home because their parents took them to the toilet at 6.

Mumsnet is a joke for this kind of thing.

No to the public loos and park

I’m amused by the idea that posters on MN know better the risk than the parent IN the situation who has, no doubt, made their own judgement.

That programme Planet child made me think that I underestimate my kids. Now I just wonder how people can have such differing views of the same world!

I’m amused by the idea that posters on MN know better the risk than the parent IN the situation who has, no doubt, made their own judgement

She posted on here asking for opinions

And I don't let my kids use the "public loo" in the sense of those random ones on the edge of a park. I am taking about in a pub where I am sat at a table metres away.

She posted on here asking for opinions

Indeed. Yours was rather a bizarre one. Crack on though

I posted for opinions on what you allow YOUR 6 yr old to do. Not what I shoudn't allow mine to do.

It's really not bizarre to think a parent should accompany a six year old child to a pub toilet.

It's really not bizarre to think a parent should accompany a six year old child to a pub toilet

It is bizarre that your immediate assumption was it was because of laziness. Strange jump.

Firstly I get when people talk about 10years olds/ 11 year olds having more freedom and teenagers preparing them for adulthood- but your child in 6!!! Let them be a child, why are you so keen to be separated from them?

With regards to the public toilets you are worryingly naive. Just because you know the eg the pub, doesn’t mean someone you don’t know could wonder in- why would you want to test out your 6 year olds ability to fend off a pervert!

As for crossing the road by themselves...there are no words!

I am taking about in a pub where I am sat at a table metres away

Yes and perish the thought you could get up and walk a few metres too.

Op...you sound fairly well educated and articulate. Lucky that you can dress it up as teaching independence... whereas other types of parents would be described as feckless.

I’m amused by the idea that posters on MN know better the risk than the parent IN the situation who has, no doubt, made their own judgement.

There is no such thing as a mature 6 year old!

It is bizarre that your immediate assumption was it was because of laziness. Strange jump.

Laziness because he's also making his own breakfast, hoovering the stairs, running his own bath and the op was wondering when he can go to the park alone...

I wouldn't let him go to the toilet alone as you don't know who else is in there. A boy at our local swimming pool got sexually abused in the toilets not long ago. I think 6 is too young.

So what if he's six? If he's looking for independence how does it make you a better parent not to extend it to him?

My 6 year old is very nearly 7, he wasn't five last week. I'm happy to see him getting more independence and the self-confidence that comes with it.

Laziness because he's also making his own breakfast, hoovering the stairs, running his own bath and the op was wondering when he can go to the park alone...

How is him making his own breakfast lazy and helping keep the house clean??
How many women on this site constantly complain that their kids are lazy teenager?! I am not going to raise one of those. I am teaching both my kids that they tidy the mess they make.
I am not lazy. Today I did 2 hours at the gym and came home to make 3 different lunches between 4 people, put 2 wash loads on, prepare tea and then we collectively tidied the living room so we could sit together on the floor and play with lego instead of me leaving them in front of the TV all afternoon.
You can do both you know - have a child and let them have a bit of responsibilty. Thats how you end up with competent teenagers and adults.

Teaching them to tidy their toys away= fine - but isn’t life full of chores, I think a 6 year old should be allowed to be a child, a fully dependent child, dependent on his parents/ guardians

Definitely didn’t let my son use public loos alone at 6 - and it isn’t him I didn’t trust of course but others.

Attacks in toilets might be rare but have happened - why allow a risk that isn’t necessary. We might only rarely hear of attacks but what about flashing or other weirdo behaviour - would your son even recognise it?

I stopped taking my son only when he was too old to be acceptable to come in the ladies - perhaps 7/8. In a busy place I would prefer he use the disabled if it is one of those single loos, if his dad isn’t there to go in with him. If he does go alone, in a family pub etc, I send his dad in after 2 mins (he is 9 1/2). I think it would be great if there were more single cubicle loos for children/families.