How much do you trust your 6 yr old?

[hidinginthenightgarden]

Or how much responsibilty do you give them?

I think I am quite trusting of DS.
He makes his own breakfast and drinks - sometimes for his sister too. He sometimes hoovers the stairs (dyson handheld), tidy his room. I let him shower or bath without supervision and I let him use the toilets in restaurants and pubs on his own. I leave him watching TV whilst I nip to the garage which is just outside the garden (about 50m from the back door).
DH always wants to supervise toilets and doesn't let him walk as far ahead as me etc.
I think DS is capable of alot more. He is a smart kid and very sensible.
We have a park opposite our house. I can see it from the front door and the kitchen window. I would probably be okay with him going to the park without me, as long as I could leave the front door open so I could hear when he wanted to cross back or if he was hurt. The road isn't a main road but not super quiet either.
DH definitley wouldn't be up for that but neither of us have alot of experience with what is age appropritate.
What do you allow your 6 yr old to do?

I think you are very sensible encouraging him to do what he can for himself. Ensuring capability and then trusting are so important for his confidence and self esteem.

The PP with the link to the rape is ridiculous - you wouldn't be taking a healthy NT 15yr old to the loo in any circumstances that I can see and a person of any age who is confident and looks like they know what they are doing is far less likely to become a victim than someone who looks nervous and uncomfortable.

At 7 years old I was taking my little sister to school on 2 busses with a change in the town centre (and after one term, at 5 she decided she was quite capable of taking herself home). I would also take my baby brother 2yr out in his pushchair to the local shop. That was not unusual then and although I don't think that would be appropriate now I do think many children are over protected.

They are definitely more at risk from busy roads than from predators but again, a child who is confident and sure of him/herself is less likely to be a target. They don't make good victims!

I'd supervise a bath at 6 yo.

The PP with the link to the rape is ridiculous - you wouldn't be taking a healthy NT 15yr old to the loo in any circumstances

It's ridiculous to suggest the link was posted so we would all take our 15yo's to the toilet.

Have a 6 year old DS and 9 year old DD. DD is very sensible and I would have been less concerned about letting her do the stuff you'd suggested aged 6 than I would with DS. He can't even be trusted to get his shoes on the right feet most days. Think it depends on the individual child, but it would be a definite no from me on the public loos. And also road crossing of any sort really, our DS is hopeless with road safety, despite our best efforts.

*keep your sadness thanks. We don't need it.

I rather think you do.*

This sort of arseyness. What is it all about? You wouldn't speak to people irl like this I don't think. Not everyone does things exactly as you do. You don't have a monopoly on the correct way to do things. People actually manage to live perfectly well doing things very differently.

No one has really explained what the relevance of all the horrible stories about sexual abuse is. At no point does anyone become immune to sexual abuse, but at some point we stop seeing it as a barrier to going to the loo or park without adult supervision. Why is that?

OP, I have a sensible 9 year old DD and live across from a small neighbourhood park. The summer she was 6.5 she was allowed to play out there unsupervised, but I would pop out every 5-10 mins to check she was okay, and she was meant to wait for me before she crossed the road. Aged 7.5, I trusted her to cross the road unsupervised so she has been playing out without supervision since then.

There is something about the fact we dont let children do nearly as many things as we used to.

DH is also one of those children who went to school on his own when he was 4~5yo. Crossing roads and walking along a busy main road wo a pavement.
As his parents were farmers he was also expected to do some jobs before school at the farm. Feeding the animals etc...

Now I wouldnt want to go back to those times tbh. And it’s good that we are not asking as much from our children. But we also seem to have lost our trust in their abilities. And by not giving them the opportunities to do those things and be as independent as they can, then we are also not giving them the opportunity to learn and be able to do those things. You learn from doing things after all, not from watching someone else doing them.

Going up and down the stairs is a good example of that. Many parents will hold the hands of their child for many years until the child is very confident going up and down the stairs in their two feet. Other will teach the child to go down their tummy and climb on their knees.
I prefer to teach to go down on their tummy and give the opportunity to go as they please in the house.
Same with using a knife or the cooker imo.

There is something about the fact we dont let children do nearly as many things as we used to

Don't look back with rose tinted spectacles...it wasn't all good. Some dreadful things happened to children in the 70s/80s.

This sort of arseyness. What is it all about? You wouldn't speak to people irl like this I don't think.

Arseyness? I was talking to a poster about 4 year olds walking to school alone. I find that sad. That’s not arseyness, it’s not even an unpopular opinion, it sure what your problem is.

I let my 4yr old dd do everything you listed though I do stay very nearby when she’s in the bath. My 6yr old DS can do most things you say (and I definitely let him) but anything related to tidying he is bloody useless at. DD (4) is amazing across the board. Very very competent and I dependent.

He's a child in infants at school. The oarents should be making his breakfast, hoovering etc not him. At that age, crossing the road or going to the park alone isn't safe, nor is usung public toilets alone.

He doesn't need to grow up yet, let him be a child.

I haven't supervised my kids in the bath for about a year, they're 7&5.

7 year makes sandwiches, toast, waffles, gets himself and his brother weetabix, milk, uses the bathroom by himself, Hoover's, mops the floor, stacks dishwasher, chops onions (and can make bolognese supervised).

There's a difference between mollycoddling and being a lazy parent (although I'm of the lazy parenting variety). It's my responsibility to teach them to do things for themselves, not to pander to their every whim.

The more they do for themselves, the prouder they are when they accomplish it.

Every parent takes a view and risk assessment for each child and they know when their child is ready to take on more responsibility - poor parenting is doing everything for your child so they never have to, and raises spoilt, entitled people who have never had to learn how to do things for themselves.

What amazes me is there are posters arrogant enough to tell other parents they’re doing it wrong when they’ve clearly made a conscious, thought out decision that works for them and most importantly the child.

If ever the saying “you do you” was apt.

Exactly Jacques. Or perhaps the saying 'do fuck off'

But you do you is fine too

Strokethefurrywall personally, I wouldn't leave a 4 yo unsupervised in the bath, just as I wouldn't leave them unsupervised in a pool or paddling pool.

And that's fine @00100001 but I would and do leave them in the bath/pool unsupervised, and watch from my patio/kitchen, because we live in a hot climate and have a 50m communal pool so they've been swimming since they were tiny. Frankly they're probably stronger swimmers than many adults.

However my kids don't know how to cross a road because we live in a gated complex, there are no sidewalks here and it's too hot to walk anywhere so we drive. They have fuck all road sense so when I brought them to England at Easter, I had to teach them to cross a road.

So like I said, we all make risk assessments based on what we feel our kids are ready for. The one thing I don't do is make DS1 responsible for DS2 because that wouldn't be fair.

But kids are far more able than we give them credit for and I believe we should teach our children how to do things for themselves. We have a cleaner but we still get the kids to mop because they think it's brilliant fun! Crack on whilst they're enthusiastic I say!