Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

Or even rub yourself on the sofa

Where's Proj - has she sold our house for us?

Unfortunately my small child is small of brain. I introduced her to the wonders of dandelion clocks and she promptly ate one. Which was fun as it required me to use my long forgotten life saving skills from a million and ten years ago when I was a teenager and they put me in charge of swimming pools.

See, I have skillz. They might prove useful in thighland. Can I stay?

Alas, I am lacking in both style and beauty, but I apparently am good at administering a 'death stare'. I hasten to add, I was merely just 'looking' when someone said I had a good death stare, but still! Is this a good skill to have in thighland?

justdog you can stay, the kid's out though.

We have perfected style and beauty - we have 2 uniforms.

Winter - slanket

Summer - hospital gown or muumuu.

That is all.

Oh dandelions aren’t dangerous. I let a toddler eat one the other day.

I read in the news that it is going to be 30C in June and we haven't made a final decision re hospital gowns v muumuus yet. We'll have to make the switch to Summer uniforms fairly soon.

Also footwear for summer - is it flip flops or crocs?

Just yes you are staying, you try escaping, we've all tried, even Thigh herself but we are strangely drawn into the hypnotic magic of Thighland.

Yes to death stare! Can it induce death in the victim? If so it's value is infinite.

You might also want a death star!

I have overused the word skill in my pp. and also may have alienated any new friends with my attempt to sound cool and hip by adding a z to the end. For that I apologise.

No, I can't say I've been rubbing myself on anyone's sofas recently... although maybe I have, I've just forgotten? I hear this sort of shiz there I go again, I am out of control happens when ladies reach a certain age?

Thigh I have considered this 'dole' business (haha I figured out your Cockney rhyming slang, pats self on back), but then what would the Jones's think? Also, would I have to then take up smoking, drinking and swearing? I could do this! Although I would need a snack first before immersing myself in the ways of the underclass...

TL what are you doing playing with toddlers? Where's your boiling oil?

Now where can one get a Death Star?

Speaking of slankets, I just recommended on to my friend who has just had a baby ( did try to warn her that her life would be over, but did she listen? No. More fool her), she was delighted by the idea and asked where I found such a useful and cleverly designed thing... I maintained a dignified silence as wasn't sure if thighland was like fight club... can someone confirm??

Well you’ll need to learn to swear for Thighland, just, so you might as well make use of your new skillz.

I hate it when it’s 30 degrees, is that something we can change?

Got my DBS innit? They’re safe with me.

Also, as a person who has recently been injured in an unfortunate accident and therefore can no longer wear shoes like a normal person, can I suggest that crocs are the footwear of choice for warmer weather? They are just so useful!!! And comfortable! With the little holes to aerate the sweatiness of the feet? Sadly I can no longer afford shoes, so I shall simply fashion some out of cardboard and baling twine and make do with them.

I also have a dbs. We have fooled the system laughs like a maniac.

The main thing about Thighland is our massive disinhibition, I’d only invite a friend who you’d consider letting retrieve a mooncup that’s gone up too far, or the like.

Ah ok. An initiation ceremony if you will... just pondering who to call to offer such a service to....

The trip to the park has not materialised due to an unforeseen incident involving ants and therefore I won't be able to pick up any weapons this evening. I can however forage with the small child in the back garden...

Hi just, and welcome!

If you recall Darling Clementine, she wore herring boxes without topses. Necessity is the mother of invention!

It's a sad reflection of my internet life when pre-pissed comes up unprompted on autocorrect. Also pre-jizzed flashed up briefly, if you'll pardon my French. I must never lend my tablet to another living soul.

just not an initiation ceremony because we don't visit each other, but more as a mental check on what you'd be prepared to reveal. You don't want to be held back from throwing off the shackles of other people's opinions.

pre-jizzed...

We need a new sofa, but I'm not sure i want a pre-jizzed one.

I want a pre-jizzed one, will save me loads of effort!

Avoid RSI! Buy pre-jizzed!

Good evening fellow cunta :)

Evening what is going on with all this confusing name changing?

I suppose it's rather like distressed jeans.