Do you have problems? I can solve them all.

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Hello, I'm Thigh. I will work with you to help you achieve the perfect balance in life. I am unfettered by knowledge or training as are my on call team of kindly agony aunts. We're ready to heal you.

justdog which dog are you? Are you a Welsh dog who lives near Machynlleth?

DROP YOUR WEAPONS Just !!

Ah ok you come in peace! And distress

Well you do not need a house anymore you just move straight into Thighland! We have money making schemes galore! I am currently working the streets for us all and have a man's liver for the pot!

You must feel so much better now! We embrace you ! Welcome to Thighland.

Washing machines are very much optional in Thighland.

Ah - posthumous! I was trying to work with chick pea solutions there.

How old is the child?

Oh cripes, such is the extent of my sorrow I can't even spell words properly after looking them up on google, I clearly am in urgent need of help.

As I said, I'd rather not talk about the unfortunate-- incident, to retain my air of mystery it's really fucking embarrassing and loads of people saw, and laughed, the bastards.--

Did you karate kick someone in Lidl?

Justdog don't worry about anything. One day you'll be dead anyway and I would suggest that we work on things to do whilst you're poor.

Lie down, watch TV, drink tea, get books from the library. How old is the childer? Can she be bought off with shit things like jam sandwiches and trips to the park? Teach her to grow vegetables because we're going to need them after we've murdered everyone and eaten everything long life.

We need fruit and vegetables long term. I've done my best to live as Marie Antoinette suggested but scurvy is a bit of a pisser, and not in a good way.

Awww thanks all for the warm welcome, I knew you would be my people!!!

Alas no, I am not a Welsh dog who lives in or near the region of Machynlleth (had to copy and paste that, such is my ridiculousness). I am a rather sorry sort of mutt who resides in or near the south west region of our fair isle.

I come in peace, I have no weapons checks pockets, nope , do I need weapons??? I can call some people and arrange something if need be?

The child is small. Yet expensive.

There's no need to be embarrassed here Just we are all equally strange and we never get embarrassed about it.

You can tell us what happened to your foot! Was it a sex game? I think it happened to me! Did you find a cure? I didn't!

Don;t worry Just I copy and paste everything I post! It saves time thinking of things and writing them.

Yes get weapons, we need them for wars sometimes, don't worry there'll be loads in your kitchen, go and look when you next get a snack.

Its not as bad as I thought, I have found a plaster from the Stone Age in a first aid box that I think was in the house before we moved in so I am about to limp to the park with small child. Luckily she walks slowly so when people point and laugh at me, I shall merely use her as my excuse. I shall then prepare her a jam sandwich for tea, and remind her that she should be grateful as in the good old days, all children had to eat was coal. I am sure she will understand.

I feel better already. Thank you, thighland people. But I would still appreciate the comet. If you could direct it to The Park, The South West I would appreciate it.

Were you using one of those rather fierce treatments for dry skin recommended in Style & Beauty? No good ever comes of following those tips.

Justdog is it anal warts that infected your foot? Thislido suffers dreadfully with them, despite her freakishly small letterbox (not a euphamism) - how the fuck do you spell that?

Dangly's utterly riddled with pox, but we love her anyway.

I wish it were a pussier affliction, then I could be a star on Sporners Corner.

Euphemism

Dangly sex game? Sex? What is that? I don't think I know of such a thing...

Ah wait, I have a child! So I must have had sex at some point, even though I have completely forgotten what it is. I fear I may be oversharing already...

I am off to my journey to the park, I'll be back in approximately 80,00000 hours as we must stop to admire plants and ants and cars and trees and grass and flowers and... you get my drift... on the way there.

If I survive the arduous journey, I will share the intriguing details of the unfortunate accident with you all, that is how confident I am that I am unlikely to survive...

Anal warts of the foot???!!! Dear god, I feel positively blessed with my life if that is what horrors others have to face. I pity them, and their anal foot warts.

From the Greek for fair of speech

Yes I am riddled with pox! Thank you thigh

Style and Beauty, contravenes the Thighway.

this is correct! Stay away from there, it's a dangerous place!

Ps, just wondering what the weapon of choice is in thighland? I can see what I can pick up on the way... requests please!

All those things are free. And it’s the season for dandelion clocks which are perfect for toddlers.

You’ll have to survive until the small person can scavenge for itself or join a street gang, so it sounds like you’ll have have to hang on a for a few months.

Justdog if your childer is seriously small I would suggest that you stop working and go on the old rock and roll. Why should you work for nothing? Fuck that for a sack of shit.

Stay home, have a laugh, watch TV - who gives a fuck. Above all, relax and then nap.

Did you run yourself against 25’s sofa? You might have got preggers that way.

Rub