Things you wish you knew before you gave birth?

[User1838482]

Due in 10 weeks, first time mum and feel I've got virtually everything ready and waiting for the arrival.

Just for fun, and possibly for some useful info, is there anything you wish you knew before you give birth? Be it about pregnancy, labour, newborns, parenting, life in general..

Any pearls of wisdom to share?

• Google cluster feeding and do not underestimate it
• You will bleed way more post partum than you ever expected, but don't worry - the worst will be over in a few days
• Don't delay doing your first post partum poo. It will be fine but do not put it off as constipation is not something you will want to be dealing with
• Expect a huge hormone crash a few days after delivering. It's totally normal - have a good cry and look after yourself
• Know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and it does get easier and even enjoyable

Take some snacks/drinks that you like because hospital food can be grim. Also I'd recommend a hand held fan for this time of year- trust me, spring/summer with no fan on the ward is less than fun

Earplugs. There's nothing more frustrating than finally getting your own baby to sleep only to be kept awake by other people on the wards.

It's hard to see past labour when you're pregnant. You don't get a breather to suddenly learn about looking after a baby, better to find out about things like feeding and basics of baby care before hand. You have limited control over how labour goes and it doesn't last that long.

Hospital postnatal wards are grim. If you end up in for a bit, you need summer nighties, snacks, things to cheer up your cubicle, things to make you feel human basically.

You milk coming in can make you feel feverish. In the first few weeks and months you can get quite anxious and paranoid about your baby coming to harm, it's normal and will pass.

You need to be prepared to crack the whip a bit on visitors. Prioritise the baby's needs rather than being polite, letting them stay too long etc. People forget what it's like having a newborn.

Sorry they sound a bit negative best of luck! There's fun stuff too

I wish I knew I would be just fine and a fab mummy..just like you will be!

The worry was overwhelming for me!! worrying that I would do something wrong, family members that already had children thinking I was not doing things the 'correct way' and how the heck would I just know what to do?!

I went into a frenzy, reading books, getting as much information as possible!

But as soon as my beautiful baby came, it's true what mums say. You do just know what to do..you know your baby, better than anybody else 😍

Congratulations in advance!! And just relax and enjoy sleeping uninterrupted!! Appreciate every single second, of peace 😂
You will regret once your baby comes, not appreciating sleep as much pre baby!!

Advice I wish I had had:

• Isotonic energy drinks got me through labour
• the first poo won’t be pleasant but gently press a maternity pad against your vagina as you poo. I continued to do this for a couple of weeks and it really helped!
• remember it can be really hot in the hospital
• pack chocolate / your fav treats
• be prepared to be kept in if necessary - it’s not necessarily a bad thing as the staff are there to help
• if you are not currently doing regular exercise consider what you can do to help in labour eg I did months of squats and they really helped

Good luck 😊

The drop in hormones can make you feel menopausal, I had horrendous sweats for the first few weeks

When you're screaming "I can't do it anymore", the midwives continually hit back with, "you are doing it". Dunno why this really irritated me in all my labours.

Buy nipple cream before you give birth.

That my body is capable of giving birth and that I just needed to let it get on with it.

Also that my body would recover fine, just give it time.

Childbirth is massively unpredictable and does not respect birth plans: just stay focussed on your goal, which is a healthy you and a healthy baby. Any path to that is just fine!

Consider you might have a c section, and it might be unplanned.

Get out the hospital as soon as possible

Read up on how to care for a newborn before you have one.
Double layer bedding:
Sheet
Protector
Sheet
Protector
Mattress

So if baby throws up you can peel off the top layer and put them straight back down.

Wash baby socks in a delicates bag.

Yy to nipple cream.

Cluster feeding - I had no idea about this but found out soon enough!! Look it up.

Stay hydrated - weather breastfeeding or not. Make sure you drink lots. I bought a sports bottle and still take it everywhere with me (ds is 18 months now)

Look after your own body, pelvic floor exercises before and after, avoid any unnecessary heavy lifting after baby is born, don't get sucked into that whole thing of trying to get straight back to normal life within days, rest, build your strength back up gradually.

Take some strepsils as gas and air will give you a mega sore/dry throat.
Buy more maternity pads than you ever think you’ll need.
Sleep now.
Fed is best, so if breastfeeding doesn’t work out don’t beat yourself up. (Oh and it really hurts at the beginning)

You won't care (or maybe even be aware) that you will probably poo yourself in labour, so don't worry about it

Breastfeeding doesn't always come naturally to you and baby and it takes time to establish. It may very well hurt at first. This does not mean you are rubbish at it. You are amazing for even trying for one day.

A baby is easier than a teenager. You may get less sleep with a newborn, but the highs are more rewarding...! Savour it

Yes yes to breastfeeding. Don’t forget that your baby needs to learn how to do it too (they might have a rough idea where to go by following the milk scent but they won’t know how to latch) so don’t beat Yourself up- you’re BOTH learning. Show yourself the same patience you show them.

If you are planning to breastfeed, squeeze the colostrum out of your nipples so that baby tastes it and latches on. I found this worked with all of mine. They smelt it, tasted it, and kind of knew to keep sucking for more

That it wouldn't be the worst pain ever that would have me wishing I would die. That labour can be a positive and amazing experience. Oh, and that labour is just the start, in a way it's the easy part Good luck

Sleep when baby sleeps!! I ignored it and felt worse than I should have. Bleeding goes on for a while. Agree with cracking down on visitors unless "essential". Make meals in advance and freeze as I personally was too tired to cook. To pot with housework. It can wait. Don't let anyone insist on rubbish advice or tell you that you're doing something wrong. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your cuddly creature as they are not long in getting bigger. Good luck OP 😍

Don't get too caught up with a birth plan. By all means have you "plan a" but don't be too strict. It can go from plan a to plan z very quickly and I know far too many people who have felt guilty about not having the kind of birth they had hoped for.

Baby will get here, don't put too much emphasis on how baby gets here.

Baby wipes for you - just wiping your face and hands will make you feel better in the hot hospital
flip-flops for the often filthy showers
cheap large black pants - lots!
salty snacks
painkillers
all cotton tops
ready made formula and bottles - your milk might not come in for a few days
keep hydrated
have a changing mat etc upstairs and downstairs
get two baby baths - one upstairs one down - put a towel in each for somewhere to put the baby if they throw up over themselves or you or have a might poo. Stops them and the mess escaping!

Good luck.

Oh and something I try and tell first time Mother’s when they ask* - it’s not that bad. You can totally handle it x

*from my extensive experience of 1, ha ha

Best advice I was given by a midwife was to breath through the contractions. As I was in labour 3 days it did help

After pains 😫 mine where worse than bloody contractions