Things you wish you knew before you gave birth?

[User1838482]

Due in 10 weeks, first time mum and feel I've got virtually everything ready and waiting for the arrival.

Just for fun, and possibly for some useful info, is there anything you wish you knew before you give birth? Be it about pregnancy, labour, newborns, parenting, life in general..

Any pearls of wisdom to share?

*mighty

I wish I’d been told that the pushing stage feels like the baby is actually coming out of your bum rather than your vagina. That caught me unawares and panicked me in the moment!

Don’t bother with disposable knickers for after, just buy a couple of packs of big stretchy black pants from tesco, it won’t matter about staining and you can wash & wear them for weeks. Comfy with pads and csection scars if you end up going that route.

And talking of staining, buy yourself a big, lovely, dark coloured dressing gown. You can live in it after the birth when you cba to get dressed. Possibly two new dressing gowns, so that one can be washed when it’s covered in lochia and baby sick

Oh god after pains. I went into some kind of shock and started screaming at everyone that the baby was still there

When you reach that absolute and total freaking out, panicking stage during labour, you are likely to be at transition. From there you can PUSH and you're on the home straight!

Remember that you’ll have a finite number of contractions, and every contraction is one closer to it finishing and your baby being there.

After the birth and stitches you'll stand up and some blood will pour out. It's normal, they clean it up and they're not phased by it.

The baby doesn't sleep the second night in most cases.

Stay positive! Giving birth is an amazing experience and we're blessed to go through it. So yes whilst it's horrendously painful and tiring, it's the MOST amazing thing in the world.

Hospitals are kept very hot. You need thinner than usual jammies.
Newborns don't want to play with toys.

Your life will be governed by naps for quite a while
Accept it and it will be fine - but to me it was a massive shock that my baby needed a nap every 2 hours or so!
Birth plans are great but dont see it as a pass or fail.
Eat dried fruit during and after labour and plenty of fluids.i swear my first poo was worse than the labour.

Breastfeeding - give yourself and your baby a couple of weeks to get the hang of it. Be patient, if you feel you need to top up with formula in the beginning, go for it.
With dc3 my milk didn't come in until day 5!

Weeing! - fill a sports cap type water bottle up with warm water to squirt over your vulva etc whilst you wee. You'll thank me!

Fourth trimester - with dc1 and 2 I felt 'fine' after giving birth, so carried on with life as normal. This led to a massive crash and burn further down the line.
With dc3 I hunkered down and stayed in bed lots and let family etc wait on me!

Don't be afraid to say no to visitors. You don't owe them anything.

Oh yeah, definitely don't put off that first poo! Drink lots and lots of water!

Self care.

Don’t put off doing your first pooh!
I was terrified that I would burst my stitches and “held on” and had terrible constipation which was even scarier to push out!
Flip flops for wearing in hospital
Pack a few bottles of water. I was too shy to ask the very busy midwives for a drink at times and remember wishing I’d packed some water

I wish someone told me about the giant blood clot that comes out a few days after birth, literally thought I was dying 🙂🙃

In all seriousness, I agree with PP who have said to research what life's like after labour. I feel like the whole pregnancy is concentrated on preparing for labour and all the things you need for them, but not actually what's it's like day in day out when they're here. You are responsible for this little human and yourself - self care is massively important.

I'm due in 4 days with my 2nd DS. Glad I know what's to come, but at the same time, so scared to have a 1 yr old and a newborn.

That, as your internal organs have been squashed into different places by the baby, once the baby is born, they all gradually fall back into place, and it is quite an achey feeling. That was post C Section though, not sure if it happens faster or whatever after a normal birth.

I second the suggestion to take the readymade little bottles of formula and the sterilized tests you can buy from Boots with you. I couldn't breastfeed and wished I had some of those with me. Much easier than using a sterilizer etc in hospital.

Main 2: it's ok to cry for a week after and buy way way more maternity towels than you think its possible to need. I'm sure I went through about 100

Use WD40 on all hinges/door handles around the house. Nothing sounds louder than a squeaky door when you are trying to sneak away from a sleeping baby!!

Treat yourself now to some comfy jammies or joggers or a nice new comfy hoody. I lived in jammies and hoodie for a few days after. Was nice to have something new and snuggly to cosy up in.

The first time you go out just you and baby it will be a bit daunting. But do it. Dh “made” me take ds to the shop when he was 3 days old. We needed milk. It’s a 10 minute walk. We all survived it. (I say “made” but it was a why don’t you take ds with you, look he’s all ready in the pram it’ll be fun!! Sort of thing).

You can have a paracetamol in early labour (it never occurred to me)

Wanting to push feels like wanting to poo.

When you breast feed you can feel your tummy contracting.

Hearing other babies (or even puppies)cry will make your breasts tingle and leak.

If you have to stay in hospital, you might be able to stay in a private room (at a cost)check it out! Worth every penny (mine cost £50 per night)

Having a sideless cot attached to the bed was a life saver.

Cluster feeding is hard.

Breast feeding makes you so thirsty, always get a water bottle ready when you are about to feed.

Take a pillow to hospital, I was only given one.
There is way more blood than I expected and after pains are shit, esp during breast feeding if you do that.
The umbilical cord will look utterly grim and then fall off after several days.
Its ok to put them in a safe place and go for a shower, you do not have to put it off until there's someone else around!

Like a PP how much post birth bleeding there would be.

That you need gas and air for the stitches after.

That breastfeeding is not always a walk in the park and can be toe curlingly painful.

Ask if you can take gas through a mask rather than a plastic pipe.
I bit down on my tube and broke a tooth. That tooth is now gone.
Get your dental check up asap after birth.
Pack decent snacks for labour. Even if you don't benefit from them. Your companions will!
Be prepared for student docs to peer around the curtain en mass on the ward. Don't be shy of telling them to go away!
Good luck x x

Everyone tells you what to put in your hospital bag, what they don't tell you is to have a supply of anusol cream and lactulose waiting for when you get home.

Don't be afraid to tell the Bounty lady to fuck off.

Don't feel obliged to do any baby groups. Babies invariably sleep through them and you end up sitting on the floor singing 'wind the bobbin up' with a group of random women feeling like a bit of a tit. Some people find them helpful for getting out of the house but if they're not for you, your child is not missing out if you don't go.

Oh and when I had my first, I was led to believe I'd be fine and fully recovered by my six week postnatal check. I bled and felt sore for a good ten weeks afterwards, sometimes healing just takes a bit longer if you've had a tough delivery. Just be kind to yourself.