Things you wish you knew before you gave birth?

[User1838482]

Due in 10 weeks, first time mum and feel I've got virtually everything ready and waiting for the arrival.

Just for fun, and possibly for some useful info, is there anything you wish you knew before you give birth? Be it about pregnancy, labour, newborns, parenting, life in general..

Any pearls of wisdom to share?

Make sure you know how to work all the gadgets and equipment now.

Sterilisers, car seats, pushchairs, travel systems, baby monitors etc.

You will not have time to read the instructions or practice one the lo arrives. I had a massive panic when I first took DS out on my own for the first time. Got back to the car and just couldn't work out how to remove the car seat from the travel system. I was there for ages - it was too far to walk home and I obviously couldn't drive without the car seat.

I agree with a previous post - don't give the birth too much thought. I mean, obviously think about it, and read up on what happens so you know what's going on, but there is really no way to control how it goes, and as long as the baby is healthy and happy, and you are ok, that's the most important thing.

If you have to have the syntocin drip, especially if you've still got a long way to go, seriously consider an epidural!

Get help with breastfeeding. See a lactation consultant, ask lots of midwives for help, etc etc.

Good luck!

I wish I'd known what it meant not to be in control of anything anymore. I don't mean that not being in control is bad, but it was not what I was used to in my life. Don't have too many pre-conceived ideas about birth, babies, being a mum ... try to go with it as much as you can. And enjoy

That babygrows roll downwards as well as up. That's what the little neck flap bits are for. For those poo explosions

All my contractions, bar one, where across my lower back. It was painful and I had not once read or been told about this!
Also, I ended up having an emergency c-section and lost a lot of blood. I was oy told this 3 days later when I was hoping to go home and was told I'd need a transfusion, which kept me in an extra day. I think they have to give your body time to recoup the lost blood but I remember thinking, why didn't they get me hooked up straight after? I needed 3 bags and went home on iron tablets, 4 days after birth. Wishing you a smooth labour and birth x

*were, not where!

I was genuinely surprised to discover that you still bleed (lochia) after a c-section!

@Lightsong I was surprised how sore i felt down there.But mine was an emercency c section.I went through hours of labour before they decided [or should i say baby decide]he fell asleep and he came out through teh sunroof

I will go against the grain a bit here but I think a birth plan and having an idea of what you want can actually be very helpful. Of course birth is vey unpredictable and you can’t have a set idea of ‘no intervention water birth’ but it’s good to remember that you have to consent to every decision made along the way and it’s helpful to have idea of what and why certain things happen in emergencies and what your options actually are.

For example I would not have agreed to a high forceps delivery when my baby went into distress if I’d known the risks and that a caesarean was a viable option at that point.

During my second birth, having a birth plan and being better researched meant I was more involved in decision-making (with a birth partner who was well-informed of my choices/preferences who could advocate for me) even when the birth had a few issues and interventions.

Completely submitting to the idea of ‘no birth plan, just let them get the baby out of me whatever it takes’ is a huge regret of mine during my first birth. I could have had better control and not ended up with long-lasting issues.

You can’t die from lack of sleep because your body has little split second micro sleeps.

When selecting small, medium or large from the hospital menu options, medium is tiny....like 4 pieces of ravioli.

You may need to drink an inordinate amount of water after you've given birth. It will taste amazing.

You can say no and it's ok to do this, esp to students if it makes you uncomfortable to have them there.

Make sure you take the right sized nappies with you (experience).

Tea and toast after giving birth is the nicest thing you have ever tasted

You can’t die from lack of sleep because your body has little split second micro sleeps.

You may feel like you're going to though

Go to bed on day three postpartum and stay in bed the whole day. This is when the hormone high starts to wear off and it can be a killer. Don’t think you ‘should’ somehow be back to normal after a couple of days.

Make sure you put the nappy ion with the willy facing down

The envelope neck vests are made so you can pull them down when there’s pop everywhere.

Napisan gets the smell off clothes.

Get all the different kinds of nappy rash cream because every baby gets it and you can’t tell which will work

Find a spot to nest in. Comfy, plenty of pillows and throws in arm's reach, charging port nearby. Make up a box of snacks that don't need refrigeration, plenty of drinks. Make another box of nappies, wipes and creams with spare baby clothes.

Sit. Rest. Enjoy your baby and let your body heal.

Look into slings; I prefer ring slings but everyone is different.

Sniff the baby's head every chance you get. Most divine smell ever.

I found it difficult to have a poo after a lengthy pushing stage of labour and am really glad I had some decent laxatives with me as everything is a bit drained and numb

Ooh one more. Get an insulated cup/mug for hot drinks. Nothing worse than being pinned to the sofa during a cluster feed and your cuppa going cold!

And you will be very teary and hormonal a few days in so make sure you’re being looked after

That 15 yo s are vile!

Depending on what position you end up in labour, be prepared for your arms and shoulders to ache massively the next day once the high wears off! I was bracing myself against the bed and the side of the birthing pool while I pushed and didn’t realise how much strain my upper body was taking

That the duration of your second CS will be double that of your first

That the afterpains from a second CS are fucking agony and not a patch on the first

That you will bleed from your vagina after a CS

I swear to god they should publish literature for those away to have a second CS as it’s a different business to the first, whether elective or emergency it seems.

Been mentioned but the crying from the hormone drop was worse than expected. Knowing it's very temporary helped a lot.

-Not all women feel pain or scream in labour. Don't get fobbed off by Medical staff if they insist it will be ages yet as you are chatty, able to walk, whatever. If you are feeling the regular contractions, they are real and insist they check.

-Newborn babies sleep a lot, but they aren't supposed to sleep all the time. Over sleepy baby means not enough milk, means no energy to wake for feeds.

• If your partner doesn't make the birth, it will not effect their bond with their child in the long run.

And talking of baby boys,dont be surprised to see an erection.Its nothing to worry about but its natural.Also boys can wee a fair distance so be quick with the nappy changes.

Noise cancelling headphones or earplugs at the very least. Postnatal wards are hellish and noisy - you will still hear your own baby if it cries, but noise cancelling headphones will tune out general hospital noisiness.

You can buy mini single use bottles of readymade formula, really useful to take into hospital just in case your milk doesn't come in quickly.

I wish someone warned me that my hair would come out in handfuls after the baby arrived.