Things you wish you knew before you gave birth?

[User1838482]

Due in 10 weeks, first time mum and feel I've got virtually everything ready and waiting for the arrival.

Just for fun, and possibly for some useful info, is there anything you wish you knew before you give birth? Be it about pregnancy, labour, newborns, parenting, life in general..

Any pearls of wisdom to share?

If you haven't already booked onto baby care classes e.g. How to bath baby safely do it now as if you leave it too close to the birth the baby may arrive early and you will miss out

Don't get too tied up in your birth plan . I understand that mothers who have felt most let down by the birth experience have been those who have been set on a specific plan e.g. Water birth and then had to have surgical intervention

Don't underestimate the 'baby blues', being hormonal and teary for a couple of weeks and be aware if it goes on for longer to speak to your GP / Health Visitor

Try not to get too overwhelmed with all the advice you are given, it seems like everyone will have a view of how to stop baby crying or how to get him / her to sleep and a lot of the advice will be conflicting

Comparing my 2 births: I wish I'd have not had the afterbirth injection. With my first I had it and bled for 8 weeks. With my second I didn't and bled for 2 weeks.

It takes a while for the bump to go down. Don’t worry!

I felt great for about 5 days then cried every day for two weeks. The hormones are intense.

Labour is tough but you can do it and having your gorgeous little one makes it all worth while.

That I could have and should have said no to induction.

I gave birth in one of the top maternity teaching hospitals in Europe.

I was still NOT taken care of.

If/Next time I WILL get a doula.

I had my 3rd DC at home - was wonderful. I’d say - when you have contractions , relax, breathe gently, your body knows what it’s doing , if you tense up it will hurt, relax. It will all be fine. Get some nice thick chunky maternity pads, you’ll probably need to double up too!

You'll wash your hands about 100 times a day with a newborn, and they will get really dry. Treat yourself to some lovely handcream.

I was lucky with my labour but things that helped were ... my maternity ball and maternity tens machine from boots

The pain is doable until it isn’t ... but then your pushing and you have to crack on .. it was also not as bad as I thought ( I ever worried but had got into my head that I was not in labour until I thought I was dying ... that sensation never quite hit but I may have wanted to when I was fully dilated and ready to push)

The hip pain is literally like they are going to explode ... but don’t worry they don’t. ( my experience it only got that bad the last couple of hours )

I personall coped by going very quiet and focusing on where I wanted to be between contractions ( my poor son wasn’t in that fantasy at the time it was a desire for bed a cup of tea and a cuddle with my cats 😂😂)

Don’t over do the gas and air while pushing ... I legthend the time pushing for me because I kept trying to breath it during contractions ( and not between 🙄) I got him out by not having it in the end.

When you are done and your getting stitched up or dad is having a hold enjoy the gas and air ( only time I understood it’s glory was when being switched up , like having a nice drink of wine ( maybe too many ) and no hangover 😂😂

Have snacks while in labour ... I forgot to eat and made me tired during final
Stage

Get Wilkinson maternity pads ... they are cheap but the thickness gave me that cushion I needed after labour ... always were only helpful later on

Don’t worry if you don’t imegiately get the most powerful rush of love for your baby straight away .. I loved him but it was only after my postnantal depression fog
Cleared I realised and understood that special love ( but you might Feel it straight away too )

The first 8 weeks was tough ( for me ) baby wouldn’t sleep out of my arms I was exhausted but too proud to ask for help ... eventually cracked and mum and dad would take turns to “pop round on the off chance “
And keep baby boy safe while I slept ... made the world a better place for an hours kip... if someone offers bite their arm off and sleep ... sleep
Deprivation is a form of torture I was so tired I was hallucinating 😂😂 but it gets better and you know what best thing I ever ever did!!

It’s gonna be a rollacoaster but my god it’s worth it x x

The Way your tummy is after birth ,was a shock to me.
Have lots of gas & air,its really all u need to get through the birth.

( not sure if this applies to all hospitals)
If you have a instrumental birth ( forceps/vacumn) a paediatrician will be present for the birth, plus the doctor that delivers baby your midwife and any students that may be attached to them. My first birth had around 9 people in the room all was perfect but it freaked me out.
Have had two inductions- both fine.
Little girls may have a small bleed in nappy after birth due to hormones.

Make sure your other half of someone is with you when the midwifes etc are explaining things after baby is born as you’ll be that shattered you won’t take in the info.
Drink lots of water.
Buy a lot more maternity sanitary pads than you already have.
It’s ok to feel sad and happy all at the same time.
Do not let the midwifes tell you the what you do/ don’t want.
Accept all the help offered by anyone.
And on a more positive note enjoy your baby and the little bubble you’ll be in afterwards. It’s so special and once it’s gone you can’t get that time back. Enjoy cuddles, time with your other half and new baby, eat takeaways and don’t bother wasting time cooking, let the house get messy. My dd is 10 weeks old today and I cannot believe how fast it’s gone by. I can’t even remember the first 2 weeks 😩

@CakeNinja mee too, I was mortified when they said you have to deliver that too haha

Every midwife and nurse and whoever will give you different breastfeeding advice. Some will also grab your boob/ hand/ nipple/ baby to help you get it right. Sometimes I found it a bit shocking and rough to be honest. I did manage to breastfeed successfully though so they did something right.

If you have a c section you’ll need a dressing gown or nighty which covers your bum/ lower half. They won’t let you wear pj bottoms (or any pants) to walk to the loo afterwards.
Take your knickers off before you go into theatre for your planned c section. I left them on under my gown gave people in the op theatre a bit of a laugh

The jelly belly .......

Oh also, sorry to say, but if little one is back-to-back during labour, it's horrific!! Labour pains just don't stop, it makes early labour much longer, and as opposed to pains being, for example, every minute, they were every time I moved. I was in labour for 36 hours. I had to have an epidural as no other pain relief was touching the sides. I wouldn't wish it on anyone!

• Buy cards/presents for anyone who has a birthday in the next 3 months post birth as it will be hard to think about doing it as your thoughts will be mostly about baby and lack of sleep

• get a fabric washable laundry bag to put in baby washing waiting to be washed as you wont always chuck poo/sick covered items straight into the washing machine. Also you don't want to be hunting for that last pair of baby socks from everyone else's washing

• make sure baby clothes/bedding is organised so you know instantly when you are down to your last babygrow

• if changing baby on a changing mat on your bed, put a towel underneath it as both boys and girls can projectile piddle unexpectedly and you don't want to have to be changing your bed at 4am (again)

• if you do buy a dummy, don't get a fully see through one as they camouflage with your bedsheets and you'll never find it

That your vagina will never be the same again. I don't mean this in a scary or depressing way! But I wasn't prepared for how different it would be afterwards! I kind of wish I'd taken more notice of it before!! Also nipple shields. Life saver for me both times. Also, that babies have a little period a few days after birth. Astonishingly I never heard this in my antenatal classes or in the books I read.... so I was terrified when it happened.
Also make sure your snacks and water are IN ARMS REACH before your partner has to leave you at hospital for the night (if you give birth late at night or have to stay in for a day or two). I was starving in the middle of the night and couldn't get to my snacks as baby breast fed all night and I could barely move anyway. Also, no one tells you when the breakfast trolley is in the corridor (usually 7am) and it's empty within 20 mins so don't miss it!!

Drinks loads of water after giving birth to dilute your urine- it really helps it sting less.

I peed after birth and was obviously dehydrated. I nearly passed out with the pain. I was nervous to drink and pee again, but honestly lots of water makes it easier!

Breathing an feel strange after birth as your lungs have so much extra room once baby has gone!

Also the after pains when feeding are pretty shocking. And no one warns you..

Definitely get a six foot charger lead.
And a powerbank or two that are already charged for in the hospital. Keep them within reaching distance.

Get amazon prime. Seriously.

You will sleep again eventually. It doesn't last forever.

Look after yourself. You have just created and expelled a human from your person. All your guts are slipping back into place, you need to rest. I felt fine. Was on top of the world. Overdid it. Six weeks and I crashed and burned hard and was quite ill for about a month. Be looked after.

You can refuse an induction. You can also refuse internal examinations.

Don't worry if you poo during labour, it's completely normal.

You may not feel a 'rush' of love for your baby, but it will come.

Remain upright and walk around for as long as possible during labour.

Prepare plenty of meals to freeze now, so when baby comes you can just defrost during the day and chuck in the microwave for dinner.

Thermos mug for tea/coffee will save many a cup going cold!

That birth would nearly be the death of me. The pain is fucking crazy.

That having a csection isn't the walk in the park I often read about on here. Getting into bed once home was one of the worst things I've ever had to do pain wise then knowing you will have to get out and back in again everytime baby needs you or you need the loo

I slept downstairs on the couch.It wasnt as high as the bed.Baby in moses basket beside me.

When baby is here,keep nighttime calm,no bright lights.And you dont realise how hungry breastfeeding make you.

When your dp goes back to work.Get him to make you a packed lunch,and a flask of soup.It will be a lifesaver.

Lactulose is great for the first poo, especially if you have been on iron tablets.

Arnica gel or witchhazel on your maternity pad feels lovely and soothing

The day 4/5 hormones are awful. You might wonder how it's possible to be so sad and happy all at once

Don't let people railroad you into doing what THEY want, I'm still upset about people insisting on visiting on their terms

By all means have a birth plans but think about how it might not work out and have an idea of contingency plans. For what it's worth, I had an incredible midwife who made sure they stick to everything they possibly could, while keeping us safe

That you can't cuddle babies too much and it's not making a rod for your own back.

That lochia can last for weeks

That a midwife will come to your house and want to look at your stitches. Which felt strangely intrusive, despite having had many people looking at them in hospital

That you sometimes have to shout very loudly to get help with breastfeeding

Breastfeeding gets easier

Standing up in labour gets gravity on your side.

Take something to do whilst your waiting around to give birth, distraction is a great pain relief...my thing was crocheting

Another that has to mention the placenta. I entirely blanked on it with my first and I remember being annoyed afterward that the third stage in the NHS book I had been given had like 3 tiny paragraphs with nothing about possible issues and said something like it should be 5-10 minutes which was a load of bull. The third stage injection is usually given pretty soon after the birth, but can be delayed until after the placenta has passed (or refused), I did the latter with my youngest and it went far better for me.

Heat packs can be amazing for labour, I loved them more then than any other time in my life. Even in when pushing when I ended up finding being on all fours with my head pressed against the angled mattress, having it against my back was great. I wish I had more for my all my births.

As others said, setting up to make things as easy as possible afterwards - wrap around cushions work well when sitting on the couch - I spent the first month with my first half living with one on me, and cots that go on the side of the bed or anything that means not getting out of bed during the first weeks more than needed was great. I was pretty much on bedrest for weeks as my hips hurt so badly.