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Original poster

Relative inviting herself to DD first day of school

273 replies

Bobbycat754 · 15/04/2019 19:33

Hi all, not sure if I’m being mean or not so some opinions please Smile

My DD is starting school this year. My partner will be away at work and with my DD on her first day will be myself, both sets of grandparents and my younger child.

A relative (my DD great aunt who she doesn’t see very often) who lives far away told me yesterday that she will be coming up to see her on her first day. If she comes, this means at least 2 other family members will be tagging along too which would make 9 people. It will already be the 6 of us. I think this is too much people to be dragging along to a child’s first day at school, I don’t want my daughter feeling overwhelmed.

I am going to mention to DD great aunt about coming up at the end of the week instead or the following week so we can get settled in to school with her.. but I know she won’t be happy.

Am I being mean in telling her no for the first day or should I let her come?

OP posts:
itsabongthing · 16/04/2019 09:05

3rd dc about to start and it will be just me and her after siblings have gone into their classes!

MariaNovella · 16/04/2019 09:07

You need to tell all your relatives to back off. A child’s first day at school is not spectator sport or even a family outing.

Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 16/04/2019 09:09

On her first morning though on the drive there, I recall her saying to me 'I might be a little bit shy Mammy'. My heart was in bits but I reassured her that all the other little boys and girls would also be a little bit shy and reminded her that when she went to her preschool she was shy but they were now her good friends'
I may have something in my eye softie .

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Tonightstheteriyakichicken · 16/04/2019 09:10

OP I hope your DD's first day goes well.

EvaHarknessRose · 16/04/2019 09:18

Top tip tell them she starts on her actual second day.

Jojobythesea · 16/04/2019 09:20

It's not about road congestion when you say that's not an issue as you live in walking distance. It's a school gate, playground and class room congestion issue... both of my boys it was just me as my DH went to work and just a couple of families had Mum and Dad.

MondeoFan · 16/04/2019 09:22

6 is too many, everyone is just thinking of themselves and not your DD at all. Totally ridiculous and unnecessary.
Imagine how she will feel? Very unsettling I would have thought.

Troels · 16/04/2019 09:23

If I was taking one of mine in for the first day and a family turned up with so many people to drop off one little child, I'd honestly think they were batshit crazy.
It's bad enough when both parents turn up for first drop off, there is no room in the class for all these people. School is overwhelming enough for little ones without being surrounded by a lot of tall strangers all fawning over one of the classmates.

oldfatgreycat · 16/04/2019 09:24

I have 4 dc but it never crossed my mind to take anyone extra on their first day. DH was working but tbh even if he wasn’t we wouldn’t both have gone. I don’t get it sorry.

NWQM · 16/04/2019 09:26

With our two you literally dropped at the door. You were not allowed into the classroom. PTA whisked all the parents round to the hall for 'tea and tissues'. We did a few uniform / first day photos but that was it.

Have a nice tea to show off the uniform
the day / weekend before.

Holidayshopping · 16/04/2019 09:30

As a reception teacher, please tell the grandparents not to come!!

Laffinalltheway · 16/04/2019 09:32

Jeez! What if every child had an entourage of 6/9 people? Class of 30 = 180/270 people! Get real...
Should be parent(s) only, plus sibling if no child care available.

Police might be called thinking it's a demo! :-)

DoNotWorry · 16/04/2019 09:33

She's going to school not a mission to Mars. Get a grip OP.

SellFridges · 16/04/2019 09:33

Has someone done the maths? If every child in a class of 30 brought six people with them that would be 180 people. Our school is two class intake, so 360 people plus the 60 kids. Absolutely ridiculous.

Get them to come and pick her up one day. On a rota so she’s not overwhelmed.

MrsDrSpencerReid · 16/04/2019 09:34

OP both my DC had myself, DH, sibling, Grandma and great grandma & grandpa come to their first days! It’s totally normal here (we’re not in UK) for GP’s to come on the first day, lots of photos at the gates, with the school sign etc.

Only the DC go into the class room though.

I probably would speak to the Great Aunt though, especially if they would be bringing other relatives too!

SellFridges · 16/04/2019 09:34

Ha, cross post - just!

Laffinalltheway · 16/04/2019 09:40

OP, is your child Mariah Carey?

isabellerossignol · 16/04/2019 09:49

Wow. My husband wasn't even at the kids first days at school. There were hardly any kids who had both parents there, one parent was definitely the norm.

MortyVicar · 16/04/2019 11:39

I wouldn't go with the 'only two' excuse, if both sets of GPs want to be there it could get horribly competitive about who are the lucky two, and 'if grandma X is going, then I (grandma Y) am going too'.

Parents only is the way to go.

GreenTulips · 16/04/2019 11:44

Surely the two would be OP and younger sibling? No argument to be had there

PhilomenaButterfly · 16/04/2019 11:48

Blimey, my DC's first days at school just had me there. Confused

Hairq · 16/04/2019 11:48

Honestly, just take her on your own and get the grandparents (and whoever else wants to see her) to visit after school. For a start she’ll feel overwhelmed with that many people taking her in (six?!! Seriously?!) and everyone will think you’re bonkers and see your child as a special snowflake.

Holidayshopping · 16/04/2019 11:51

The first day of school is such an anti climax as well-you arrive and they walk in..and that’s it!

You’ll be making it much harder for the child to say goodbye if the whole family is there as well!! The child will wonder what on Earth is going on that everyone has turned up to watch them do-it’s enough to make anyone nervous!

Better to have people round for tea after school or the following weekend anyway.

PhilomenaButterfly · 16/04/2019 11:52

This is like when my aunt wanted to be there for DD's first taste of solid food. Confused

englishdictionary · 16/04/2019 11:52

I actually can't believe anyone would do this!

6 people to take one child to school Confused