Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

Sane !!! Stupid predictive text shite.

That is another problem of howlongchubbyfingers

I wonder if i have Munchausen's Syndrome and that's what's behind the recent healthy eating which caused yesterday's Ebola?

Howlong don't worry about typos here! T'is a place to relax and unravel! We are women who won't and we lie down and eat our snax in the name of reverse improvement

Your fingers cannot be fat as per our rulz no 4 (or 3):

Nobody can be too fat or too thin.

Your family will be fine without you! Toil no longer, if you don't win the lottery maybe a bank heist could supply the necessary readies?

Or you could just stay here in Thighland, it's better than a 5* hotel anyway in that you can just stay lying down and no need to dress for dinner as it is always just snax such as wotsits and galaxy. Drown out the noise and demands of your offspring with loud music and earphones!

A slanket is your friend at this point!

thigh I have munching syndrome!

dangly , yes just popped in! Lots of lovely new thisters!

thigh sorry to hear you've been poorly, sick and jobbing, but sounds as if you're on the mend ;-)

I have spent all evening looking at car adverts and am slowly losing the will to live. My old car went to the scrapper 6 months ago and I loved it so much. (sob)

I'll be back soon!

Believe could you stop working for twats and set up a dog walking business? £15 per dog, 4 dogs, 3 times a day. That's probs loads.

Pooter buy a Kia Rio, now come back.

Do you think the fact that i did typing rather than business at school helps with my financial advice services?

DT I've just had my late evening snack, i looked at the yummy sultana bran but i had malted wheats instead. Let's hope i don't have to keep regressing through the cereals, it'll be Cap'n Crunch soon at this rate. I know it's a vice, but you have gin, i have bran. We all have our peccadillos.

Look! Money for feedback and advice! I'll do that all day long, only if I can work from my sofa though. Pontificate for cash, I'm your man!

howlong they are not down the park sniffing glue, so well done on excellent parenting!

Sorry but it will continue until they leave home. If they go away to university they will frequently invite their new friends to come to stay, and you will have to provide nice coffee and croissants. Also, they will use all your hot water and towels.

I know I work for twats.

No way to dog walking! I don't like them for starters. No one has a small dog round here, they're all Staffies and the market is saturated.

I was thinking of selling stuff on Shpock or Facebook, but that's hella hassle.

I'm tired and I can't see an end to this.

carolinefunnily enough my 15 yr old said similar when I commented on the mess

"It could be worse we could be doing heroin"

I think there might be a middle ground of revision and tidyness.....??? No ???

Found another job in a supermarket.

Only 10 hours minimum, but it's not the twat employer.

believe that does sound better! Even if you stay at the twatty place it sounds as if they don't value you, so sod 'em.

howlong hahaha. Yes wine is your answer ;-)

Ooofff...I'm here, finally.

Not Thigh at all when real life interferes and i have to do things. Will spend the next few days recovering, and rediscovering my inner thigh. Hello New Thisters, our message is travelling far and wide if we are reeling in Thisters from across the pond.

Dog we were going to send our rescue van but then we got distracted by the ads.

Are the Trumpers Brits though, i think so, seeking refuge with our crayoned Thighland passports.

Hello Dog

I've to go out into the actual real world myself today! It's so tedious isn't it? Am so unhappy about it but needs must.

We really must organise that bank heist so we can all just stay in Thighland all day long unless we are in the garden.

ICan't stick with us, get some decent weapons and we'll soon have you out of legit gainful employment and into a life of luxury or into the slammer soon (I imagine can lie down a fair bit in there! No supermarket jobs or twatty employers - not sure what's on the menu though!)

Can you drive very fast?

10 hours sounds better than the twat employer. Normally there ends up being extra hours available. Plus a staff discount on snax.

Ramsay Thigh is right, you want something with horrible visual clues and not treatable with antibiotics. Also scratching your crotch can be quite effective. If you don’t think it’s alarming enough, give the hapless man a big wink and bare your teeth whilst you do it, having coloured a few of them in black or gold or covered them with orange peel.

Thigh I neglected to mention how much I enjoyed your overtures at the start of the thread. I look forward to never calling or meeting you.

2018 you need to make full use of the ‘I’m foreign I don’t understand you funny American ways’ excuse. Start by releasing a gigantic cloud of bats. In a celebratory kind of way.

I just had an advert for Peppa Pig. I expect they want to add my dagger-clawed birds to the show.

My problem that someone has scheduled a meeting from 12-2 and the title isn’t ‘lunch’.