Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

I know!!

A love spell!!

Can it work? Will pineapple fall for me??

HURRGH HAKKGH . . . HAKA DOBLE ALL!!!
I never thought it would come to this but MrCat has done something unspeakable and needs to . . . be 'disappeared'.

Dog, Pooter, This, Project, Baker this is a clarion call to all of Thighland!

Calling all Fuckboys - start gathering plastic sheeting by the river.

Great Thigh may I borrow Elsa? I promise to have litres of milk and BastardCat won't be released.

Anyone else got hungry pigs available or virgin patio?

Ooh, I read about this as a cultural tradition in ... somewhere, I forget where. You have to sneak into your love object’s bedroom in the dead of night and put menstrual blood on their heel. Then they will fall in love with you and you shall be wed.

I know that’s technically ‘visiting’, but does it count if your purpose is to wipe bodily fluids on them?

Oh goody, murder. At your service MrsC

MrsCat (this is Dangly out of uniform btw) What on EARTH has MrCat done and how shall we dispose of him?

Will you be needing my piranha tank? Project is already using it but you can be next, it has a divine 'viewing window' so we can watch our shenanigans!

We will never speak of what he did - he thought it was 'funny'.

WTF does he know of what constitutes 'amusement' Oh wondrous citizens of our great Thighland?

Prepare the Fuckboys

Cat i heard your bellow, I'm always ready for murder. To clarify - are we killing your cat or your husbo? What is the crime? I'll murder them both just for a laugh but do tell.

Project where is pineapple's heel?

Just asking for a friend!

Do not worry MrsCat we are here in our murderous droves!

HAAAAAAAGGH HAKAAH HA KKA AAAAGH

Hello Dangly forgot to say Hubba hubba at name change x

I'm too embarrassed to say what he did - he thought it was 'amusing'.

Needless to say - he has to go. Now.

Who's the target 🎯? Everyone?

Oh thank you!! ! I do feel Sexy and Dangerous MrsCat

You're not so bad yourself! ... In fact let's hurry to dispose of MrCat

WHO!? Cat 🐱? Man 👨🏼?

Ooh a murder, it will be my first one.
If you cover Mr Cat in feathers, i can send my cat round. He's good at disposing of bodies and just leaving a pile of feathers behind (as practiced tonight in my bedroom).

Say no more MrsC. We have some long/range nukes which might work.

Obviously we still confuse the big red button and fannies, so I’d get yourself and BastardCat well out of range then give us the nod.

Glorious Thigh, thank you for hearing my wounded cry. At the moment, just MrCat
Maybe easier to deal with BastardCat returns from his nightly bloodlust and is dead to the world in his soil packed wooden day casket / bed.

thigh now we can't dispose of everyone can we? That would also include us and then where would we be?

Nowhere that's where!

Just all of the other people maybe?? MrCat for sure because he thought it funny!! ! And all others?

Although where do we draw the line? Because on the weird thread some seemed almost Thigh, just needz nore skillz?

Shall we start a school?

Here is the (my) big red button:

(I know I look fit! It's my best side!)

Ok. Got my brown paper bag ready on head. Press red button Project!

How much do you want him to suffer? I'm guessing that drives the murder weapon/approach. If he did something "amusing", you will be wanting a long drawn out, painful death, won't you?

Oh shit. I want to press Dangly's big red button now!

No we're nuking him Dog

New card idea: 'Sorry for your loss of long painful death anticipation'

We're pressing my button (as the Actress said to the Bishop!)

MrsCat, i had Gary, the fuckboy...he wasn't worth the effort, you've not missed much.

Ooh yes Dog long and drawn out.

However, must admit the good old days where all you had to do was instruct a Fuckboy or two.

Oh MrsCat that's why my act is so popular! I just seem to pull in the punters time and again!