Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

'I missed the old days' re fuckboys. Anyways, press that big red effing button!

OK before we take the 'nuclear option' can we not just put him in our cage? With the rotting teacher and Esben?

That always leads to a slow death and plenty of time for him to reconsider his crimes?

The thing is MrsCat it was not funny was it? And even though we do not know what 'it' is, he is already guilty by mandate of the higher court of the opinion of Thighlaw so must be charged and sentenced accordingly!

OMG did I just sound like I was on 'Line Of Duty' then?

Please say I did? C'mon, confess 'For the purpose of the tape'!

Not weird me, nope not having it at all! Fella!

Ya Wee Gobshite!

I've probz done all the Fuckboys, it's all a blur. Some of them speak Albanian and tried to raffle me off for the tombola. I gave the one with the lazy eye a quick hand shandy and escaped.

I'm worried I'm agreeing here to blow myself up! For the tape i am starting that i am not willing to blow myself or Thighland to Kingdom Come.

I will cheerfully murder your husband though Cat that's what thriends are for.

NOT CAGE.

KILL.

Apparently the way to rebalance one’s gut flora is not to eat 5 pickled onions, some blue cheese and a family bag of minstrels. Who knew?

Perhaps big red button should be saved for when MN HQ finally pull plug on citizens of Thighland.

Agree Thigh, oh great benevolent Dictator, KILL NOT CAGE. I've laid a trail of Monster Munch to the beast's bedside. Door to integral garage is unlocked - milk is in fridge for Elsa. Unfortunstely, no plastic sheeting - Fuckboys ran away when I tried to entice them with promise of 'sexy times'; perhaps I should have just promised them puppies and sweeties. BastardCat out rampaging and I'm working away establishing alibi.

Thanking you all in advance . . .

Times are desperate, we've been normalled by the weirdz. We'll be discussing cleaning methods and reaching for the valium. Which is bad news as GPs won't give it out anymore cos they've gobbled it all themselves.

Maybe we could get the thread pulled by saying it's triggering us. We don't need to elaborate that it's triggering spitefulness and jealousy.

We can't even recruit them, they're medically barking. Plus they didn't bat an eyelid when I said I'd been Debra Winger since 1988.

They're trying to kill me by showning off and starving me of attention.

We have to attack.

I've been to the thread to tell them they are ordinary responses. I would suggest/command we all do similar. They didn't notice my presence or praise me earlier so they are FOE.

Project i rarely say this but you will have to eat porridge to rebalance your floribunda. You're in for a bad arse day i fear. I had steak for dinner so am probably safe today. I'm eyeing up the sultana bran though, it's a stress response.

Fun fact: When i was a childer my mother would put secret powdered bran in everything. Mince and tatties? Bran. Spag Bol? Bran. Orange drizzle cake? Bran.

This was to combat constipation which I never had in the first place.

She also used to make up milk in a jug from a disgusting powder called Five Pints. Apparently it was exactly the same but with lumps. Hence why I'm still traumatised by Thatcher snatching my only safe milk source.

Still, it's made me what i am today.

Hmm that powdered milk thing is triggering a memory of my own!

I can't remember it though! Shame! It felt like it might be disgusting!

Ok so I've been over and told them they are normal.Whats next?

I think MrsCat should go over and tell them it's all very basic stuff and why are they pretending it's weird!

Then do the Haka Doble

HAAGHAAAAH GAAA AHHHH UG UG

And then do the Thighwalk across their thread!

That'll learn em!

Viz milk trauma

wax is on the weird thread but is she being one of us or one of them?

Hers was one that made me laugh, surely she was being one of us. It doesn't bear thinking about otherwise.

Dog if she's being a thriend on the FOE thread she's doing a good job.

Oh my lord. I actually have no problem today but am begging you please assist the poster who’s husband is peeing on her bath mat.

Witch we could either murder him for her but alternatively we could encourage her to lower her standards considerably and just relax whilst pissing in her own slanket and never bothering with trifles again!

Which is best advice?

AuntieCorruption, murder is so messy and time consuming.

I am in for the lowering of standards. I think now is the time to get behind the free pee movement..