Do you have problems? Would you like a solution?

[pineapplebryanbrown]

Please come into my advice clinic. All my agony aunts are both untrained and insane. We WILL help you.

Dog thank goodness for your mnemonic for diarrhoea. When I think of all the school sick notes i had to forge and that was the one illness i just could not spell.

Please could you ask the cat to sleep at the bottom of the bed, rather than on my stomach? I’m too hot, but he won’t listen to me.

Well surely that’s obvious.

Pre-call: make a cup of tea. Make an additional cup of tea because I know one won’t be enough.

On-call: wear headphones so hands free. Mute line. Drink tea, shit, make more tea. Unmute and contribute when necessary.

Shockers cough, hard. Most cats will withdraw with a pained expression.

Thislido ah, it was the muting that i missed in my fantasy re your morning routine.

Muting is essential. I was on a call once where someone nodded off and could be heard snoring.

They have out weirded us Thisters, on secret behaviours.

What is the Jazz with lamp posts?

What was that film where they all unscrewed from the ground and flew into the air?

The lamp posts, not the people on that thread.......

For clarity.

thislido - he was ever present during a recent bout of pneumonia. He’s made of sterner stuff than most felines!

A friend just sent me this as a warning

Thank you all for asking after my bowels, so kind.

For dinner last night i had pretzels and biscuits so I am secure today, inbound.

Naked they may have out weirded us but they seem....athletic. Plus they're not in awe of my presence so am sulking with them.

thigh, thigh, thigh they are secretly in awe of your great omniscience

They undress to do poos and they order egg mcmuffins with no egg!

These people are not right in the head!

Let's get back to making 'Arse Cards' and murders.

Do you think all those secret worlds they have in their minds are really Thighland? Do you think we have in some way infiltrated vast numbers of people with our Glorious Nation?

But no egg in an egg mcmuffin??

That is not very Thigh, they should be adding extra fillings not having no fillings.

I think they might be trying but doing it wrong! Lack of training and skillz!

I just discounted the 'no-egg-in-the-egg-mcmuffin' as either nutters or trolls.

Unless, the no-egg-in-the-egg-mcmuffin brigade have the shits too and are trying to rebalance their gut. I've not eaten an egg since i had the shits and I'm much better today.

I really dislike McDonalds eggs but i get around this by having a double sausage and egg mcmuffin with no egg. Isn't that the sensible solution? Honestly, some people.

Oh yes that's true Dog ! They may have the sits and t'is very Thigh to have the shits!

Maybe they are Thigh!

• shits not sits

So thigh what is the verdict then, are they Thigh?

It depends if they have the shits or not, i suppose. Should we ask them?

Ok go on Dog it's your turn!

DT I'm just pondering which name i should use to do so...i have collected quite a few during my time in thighland.

My verdict is that they have Thigh within them but their buttocks are too tightly clenched to do the traditional greeting of proffering the Inner Thigh. Plus how could they do the Thigh signal walk? Would they be comfortable with voluntary incontinency?