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Original poster

Son wants to come home

279 replies

dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 14:52

Went homeless with his gf and baby son.She is going home to her mothers,he wants to come back here.But the problem is i just dont have the room for him.

My 3 younger sons share,my eldest has his own room,and me and dp have a room.
He wants our room,but the only way he can come back here is of he goes in with the 3 younger boys.And now hes trying to guilttrip me.Im so torn.

OP posts:
titchy · 14/04/2019 14:53

Give him the sofa for a couple of weeks till he sorts out a house share. Do NOT give him your room fgs.

shitpark · 14/04/2019 14:55

What do you mean he "went homeless"?
If he can't share with the eldest, I presume that is your dd, can he sleep on the lounge? Do not give up your bedroom

whatsnewchoochoo · 14/04/2019 14:55

I'm really really soft and even I wouldn't give him my room. Where would you go?

shitpark · 14/04/2019 14:57

Oh, sorry, I see your eldest is also a boy.

OhTheRoses · 14/04/2019 14:57

Is this a wheeze whereby they get allocated a council property because the family can't live together due to homelessness?

Does he have a job?

PH03b3 · 14/04/2019 14:58

Absolutely not - i wouldn't see him homeless but why should he have your room!? Yes do absolutely anything to give him a roof but not your room

Drogosnextwife · 14/04/2019 14:59

So where did he sleep before he left?

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:00

Where did he sleep before he left home?

I'd sleep on the kitchen floor before I saw one of my children on the street though. As a single man he's not getting any help from the government, that's for sure.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:00

No he doesnt work,they went homeless cause i have no room here and neither does her mother.Im not giving up my room.

We did for 8 months and we slept in with the 3 boys,its not something i want to repeat.

The eldest doesnt want to share because the one that wants to come back than be very overbearing.He will just take over the room.And its only a small room anyway.

OP posts:
stanski · 14/04/2019 15:00

He shouldn't have your room! He can have the sofa if need be, but not your room. That's unreasonable

Bananalanacake · 14/04/2019 15:01

does he work. could he pay you a small rent while saving for a deposit on a flat.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:01

He slept where we are with his gf and baby.But it just wasnt sustainable.

OP posts:
stanski · 14/04/2019 15:02

How old a couple are we talking about? Why doesn't he work?

stucknoue · 14/04/2019 15:05

How old is he, if he's under 21 then yes it's right to have him home but he can have the sofa, work and pay rent (and child support!)

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:07

Hes 23 and she is 21,i have no problem with him coming back.But he just has to understand he cant go back to the way things are.He moved out.

OP posts:
MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2019 15:10

How old is the other oldest boy?

OhioOhioOhio · 14/04/2019 15:10

Sounds like it was about time he realised that other people have needs and ideas too. Not just him.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:10

My eldest is 24

OP posts:
churchthecat · 14/04/2019 15:12

Wtf, of course he can't have your room!

Why can't he get a bloody job and rent like a normal person?

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:12

He slept where we are with his gf and baby

But where were you? Confused Where did he sleep before the girlfriend and baby were there?

FamilyOfAliens · 14/04/2019 15:13

Have they put their names down on the housing register? Obviously it could take several years to be housed but at least you’re on the list.

Though on his own with no additional needs, he would be in the lowest priority group for housing.

user1498854363 · 14/04/2019 15:13

Op, is he working or trying to work? He has a family to provide for, is he aware of this and wanting to do it?
I would offer sofa but be talking about making future plans. They could rent a room privately, but he needs to work or she does if someone is a SAHP.
Agree that he moved out so consequences are he doesn’t get the room. He is an adult and needs to get his own space, working will allow him to pay rent somewhere...

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/04/2019 15:15

This is that defining moment in his life - given that for some reason having a child wasn't!

He sleeps on your sofa and is made to feel as though he is in the way, nobody creeps around him, apologises for waking him up, keeping him awake etc etc, the reality of his life is allowed to hit him and inconvenience him.

He has to be allowed to live a fully crap life so that he can decide for himself that he can make it better! Presumably his GFs parents will be doing all they can to get her to stand on her own 2 feet and, if he doesn't get a move on, I can only assume that may well be without him!

At 23 he has been old enough to be a grown up for a while!

JenniferJareau · 14/04/2019 15:17

What do you mean went homeless? Did he lose his job and couldn't pay the rent?

Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:17

So why does the older boy get a room, but the second one doesn't?
Does his girlfriend's Mum have room for him?