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Original poster

Son wants to come home

279 replies

dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 14:52

Went homeless with his gf and baby son.She is going home to her mothers,he wants to come back here.But the problem is i just dont have the room for him.

My 3 younger sons share,my eldest has his own room,and me and dp have a room.
He wants our room,but the only way he can come back here is of he goes in with the 3 younger boys.And now hes trying to guilttrip me.Im so torn.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 14/04/2019 15:18

Sharing with his older brother seems the only option. Not ideal but if neither have anywhere else to go then they both share (and act grown up!)

Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:18

Where has he been living homeless with the baby?

CuriousaboutSamphire · 14/04/2019 15:19

Having said that it would be interesting to know (I really am being nosy here) if your 24 year old pays his way and how old the other 3 are, any of working age paying their way too?

Nosy because it could be that you have a harder time on your hands than may be guessed at if all 5 of your boys lack independence!

If that is correct then you need to throw yourself at your own mercy, apologise to yourself and start setting better boundaries for yourself - be ruthless with them all!.

Palominoo · 14/04/2019 15:20

What a great role model he is to his child!

He needs to get off his backside and start acting like a grown up!

He’s brought a child into this world but is acting like a small child himself!

Why can’t he rent a room in a house share?

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2019 15:21

23 and 24 the oldest boys? Are they working?

Everyone needs to make a huge effort to contribute so that everyone can have enough space and he can support his child. Minimum wage jobs, whatever, it's all a step up.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:22

24 year old pays rent.The oldest 2 did share but the 3 youngest have their old room.The other 3 are 11,9 and 8,

He has been living in a homeless hub.So basically 1 room there as well.

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 14/04/2019 15:22

Your oldest needs to share or move out if sharing isn’t good enough for him.

PotterHead1985 · 14/04/2019 15:24

Your oldest needs to share or move out if sharing isn’t good enough for him.

Eh no he doesn't. The eldest pays rent to the OP to live there. Sounds like the next one wants to come home, turf his parents out of THEIR room and is unlikely to hand over a red cent for it.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/04/2019 15:24

The eldest doesnt want to share

Tough shit. You can't pick one son over the other

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:25

So why can't he stay where he is? Or rent a room somewhere else?

BathshebaKnickerStickers · 14/04/2019 15:25

His girlfriend and he chose to start a family.

Presumably they are still together.

He is an adult with a child.

He needs to grow up.

IHateUncleJamie · 14/04/2019 15:25

Does he have a job? Is he in receipt of any benefits if not?

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:26

Tough shit. You can't pick one son over the other

I wouldnt do that but the room wouldnt be big enough to share,its big enough for 1 person.My 23 year old is very overbearing.He just wants his own way,he was always like that.

OP posts:
Acis · 14/04/2019 15:26

FairyCaravan, why shouldn't OP pick the rent-paying son over the one who left home and now wants to turf her out of her room?

Margot33 · 14/04/2019 15:27

I don't think you should let him back.

IHateUncleJamie · 14/04/2019 15:28

Your oldest needs to share or move out if sharing isn’t good enough for him.

Why, when he pays rent and I assume the 23 year-old won’t be?

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:28

I wouldnt do that but the room wouldnt be big enough to share,its big enough for 1 person.

Right. So where was son 2 before he moved out and before he lived there with his GF and baby in your room?

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:28

And where were you?

MitziK · 14/04/2019 15:29

He's a man with a child.

That means he has to sort out his own problems, not march back in like the Prodigal Son and go back to Mummy and Daddy looking after him.

prettybird · 14/04/2019 15:29

If you continue to facilitate him by giving in, he will continue to believe that he can be overbearing and get his own way Confused

As the MN saying goes, No is a complete sentence.

IHateUncleJamie · 14/04/2019 15:29

He just wants his own way,he was always like that.

About time he grew up a bit then.

HarrietSchulenberg · 14/04/2019 15:30

At 23 and 24 I'd tempted to turf them both out and let the younger ones spread out a bit.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/04/2019 15:30

Acis he's her child too. There was room for him before he moved out so unless OP has moved they can make it work again.

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:30

Ellenborough, OP has explained that previously the son did have their room and she shared with the three youngest.

Shortandsweet96 · 14/04/2019 15:30

He sounds a bit grimey. Sorry OP.

Why is he homeless?
Why doesnt he have a job?
Is he willing to get a job?
If so is he willing to pay you rent?
Is he still with gf?
Why cant he move to gf mother with her and his son?
He sounds like he expects to be taken back in no questions asked. But it really touches my nerves when people qho dont work for Jack shit expect something for nothing.

Leave him in the homeless hub until he has sustained a job. When he moves back in with you he will just sit around all in your house eating your food using your resources with no way of paying for it. Yuck