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Original poster

Son wants to come home

279 replies

dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 14:52

Went homeless with his gf and baby son.She is going home to her mothers,he wants to come back here.But the problem is i just dont have the room for him.

My 3 younger sons share,my eldest has his own room,and me and dp have a room.
He wants our room,but the only way he can come back here is of he goes in with the 3 younger boys.And now hes trying to guilttrip me.Im so torn.

OP posts:
Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:30

Where were the 7 of you all sleeping before the 23 year old moved out/had a baby

Sirzy · 14/04/2019 15:30

So how where rooms arranged when all 5 where at home?

Surely finding a way for him to move back is the best way for you to help him get back on track?

MyDcAreMarvel · 14/04/2019 15:30

What was the original plan when you had five dc in a two bed with a box room?

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:31

FairyCaravan, there was only room because OP and her partner moved in with her three youngest boys. Why should they have to do that again because the son fancies a room on his own?

viques · 14/04/2019 15:31

If the 24 year old is paying rent then he is entitled to keep his current room for himself.

His feckless brother will either have to accept sofa surfing , or finding his own accommodation. He is not due any other consideration since he has moved out and become a father , not controlling the destiny of your sperm does not give you the right to oust your parents out of their room!

I assume the baby's other grandparents have sensibly refused to allow him in to live in their house with his girl friend and the baby.

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:31

Ellenborough, OP has explained that previously the son did have their room and she shared with the three youngest.

She said he was with his girlfriend and baby in her room and she (and presumably her partner) were in with the younger boys.

I want to know where he slept before the girlfriend and the baby came along.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:32

2 bedrooms upstairs,made a bedroom downstairs.
2 eldest had the big room,3 smallies had the back room.We had the downstairs.
Gf and son get pregnant,we give them our room downstairs.Son1 moves in to the back bedroom,we move in to big room with the 3 other boys.
We stayed there for about 8 months and it was hell.No way am i going back there.

OP posts:
anangalou · 14/04/2019 15:33

This is ringing bells, have you posted about this before ???

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:33

What was the original plan when you had five dc in a two bed with a box room?

Yes! This! Exactly! God, it's like pulling teeth.

StillMe1 · 14/04/2019 15:33

The 23 year old tried to manipulate the Council into supplying him, his girlfriend and his baby but that did not work. The girlfriend has chosen to go back to her mum.
I have seen a number of people try to do something similar. It is not a route I would like to take.
It is the expectation of the young couple and baby which angers me here. They want to do things their way and expect the council to suit them.
Have they split up or just staying in different places for the time being perhaps this is another ploy to push the council

LEDadjacent · 14/04/2019 15:33

He wants our room

Er, no!

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:34

Right, finally. So as he's moving back by himself can you go back to the original plan or put him in with the younger ones?

Xyzzzzz · 14/04/2019 15:35

Is he going to look for work or pay rent? He’ll have to make do with a sofa.

anangalou · 14/04/2019 15:35

Why doesn't he work?

Ledkr · 14/04/2019 15:35

Can he present as homeless to the council? At his age he'd be a priority still I think

Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:36

It's a lot of ye, that's for sure.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:36

What was the original plan when you had five dc in a two bed with a box room?

Theres years between 2 eldest and 3 youngest,i thought the 2 eldest would have flown the nest[no such luck]
And no i havent posted about this before,but i havent name changed so you can see my history if you search for it.

OP posts:
Shortandsweet96 · 14/04/2019 15:36

He chose to be homeless. Dont let him back and make everybody else suffer for his poor choices.
Hes not in any danger while hes in a hub. If he was on the doorstep of a shop or would be different but hes fine and needd to learn to grow up, get a job and pay his way.

Ellenborough · 14/04/2019 15:37

Can he present as homeless to the council? At his age he'd be a priority still I think

You're joking aren't you? If they can't get a place as a couple with a child what hope do you think a young fit and healthy man has on his own?

LEDadjacent · 14/04/2019 15:37

If you used to have 3 kids in the back bedroom surely he could fit in there?

Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:37

It's a bit irresponsible to have that many children when you can't house them.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2019 15:38

Gf and son get pregnant,we give them our room downstairs.

No, this is when you say, "man up son, you want to be a father, you work, you pay, you parent, you grow up, you behave responsibly." You don't change things to suit a situation he decided to get himself into so he can continue not to be a responsible adult. There's a child to think about, an actual child, not a 23 or 24 yo MAN who should be doing what he needs to.

Acis · 14/04/2019 15:38

If you used to have 3 kids in the back bedroom surely he could fit in there?

Three small children is a rather different proposition to two young men. And OP has explained that the problem is that son who wants to come back is overbearing and will take over the room from his brother who pays rent.

Original poster
dustarr73 · 14/04/2019 15:39

Right, finally. So as he's moving back by himself can you go back to the original plan or put him in with the younger ones?

Thats in my original post.thats the only way it will work.Thats my dilemma,he wont do that.
And im not in England and our homelessness and housing crisis at the minute is just mad

OP posts:
Eroy · 14/04/2019 15:39

Well when you had the now 9 year old, you had a 15 year old and a 14 year old. Had you planned for them to fly the nest (some nest) at those ages?